Written by knutson.com

1. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
2. Movie nudity is virtually always female.
3. You know stuff about tanks.
4. A five day vacation requires only one suitcase.
5. Monday Night Football.
6. You don’t have to monitor your friends sex lives.
7. Your bathroom lines are 80% shorter.
8. You can open all your own jars.
9. Old friends don’t give you crap if you’ve lost or gained weight.
10. Dry cleaners and haircutter’s don’t rob you blind.
11. When clicking through the channel, you don’t have to stall on every shot of someone crying.
12. Your ass is never a factor in a job interview.
13. All your orgasms are real.
14. A beer gut does not make you invisible to the opposite sex.
15. Guys in hockey masks don’t attack you.
16. You don’t have to lug a bag of useful stuff around everywhere you go.
17. You understand why Stripes is funny.
18. You can go to the bathroom with out a support group.
19. Your last name stays put.
20. You can leave a hotel bed unmade.
21. When your work is criticized, you don’t have to panic that everyone secretly hates you.
22. You can kill your own food.
23. The garage is all yours.
24. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
25. You see the humor in Terms of Endearment.
26. Nobody secretly wonders if you swallow.
27. You never have to clean the toilet.
28. You can be showered and ready in 10 minutes.
29. Sex means never worrying about your reputation.
30. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
31. If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.
32. Your underwear is $10 for a three pack.
33. The National College Cheerleading Championship
34. None of your co-workers have the power to make you cry.
35. You don’t have to shave below your neck.
36. You don’t have to curl up next to a hairy ass every nite.
37. If you’re 34 and single nobody notices.
38. You can write your name in the snow.
39. You can get into a nontrivial pissing contest.
40. Everything on your face stays its original color.
41. Chocolate is just another snack.
42. You can be president.
43. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger seat.
44. Flowers fix everything.
45. You never have to worry about other people’s feelings.
46. You get to think about sex 90% of your waking hours.
47. You can wear a white shirt to a water park.
48. Three pair of shoes are more than enough.
49. You can eat a banana in a hardware store.
50. You can say anything and not worry about what people think.
51. Foreplay is optional.
52. Michael Bolton doesn’t live in your universe.
53. Nobody stops telling a good dirty joke when you walk into the room.
54. You can whip your shirt off on a hot day.
55. You don’t have to clean your apartment if the meter reader is coming by.
56. You never feel compelled to stop a pal from getting laid.
57. Car mechanics tell you the truth.
58. You don’t give a rat’s ass if someone notices your new haircut.
59. You can watch a game in silence with you buddy for hours without even thinking (He must be mad at me)
60. The world is your urinal.
61. You never misconstrue innocuous statements to mean your lover is about to leave you.
62. You get to jump up and slap stuff.
63. Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.
64. One mood, all the time.
65. You can admire Clint Eastwood without starving yourself to look like him.
66. You never have to drive to another gas station because this one’s just too skeevy.
67. You know at least 20 ways to open a beer bottle.
68. You can sit with your knees apart no matter what you are wearing.
69. Same work….more pay.
70. Gray hair and wrinkles add character.
71. You don’t have to leave the room to make an emergency crotch adjustment.
72. Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100.
73. You don’t care if someone is talking about you behind your back.
74. With 400 million sperm per shot, you could double the earth’s population in 15 tries, at least in theory.
75. You don’t mooch off others’ desserts.
76. If you retain water, it’s in a canteen.
77. The remote is yours and yours alone.
78. People never glance at your chest when you’re talking to them.
79. ESPN’s sports center.
80. You can drop by to see a friend without bringing a little gift.
81. Bachelor parties whomp ass over bridal showers.
82. You have a normal and healthy relationship with your mother.
83. You can buy condoms without the shopkeeper imagining you naked.
84. You needn’t pretend you’re “freshening up” to go to the bathroom.
85. If you don’t call your buddy when you say you will, he won’t tell you friends you’ve changed.
86. Someday you’ll be a dirty old man.
87. You can rationalize any behavior with the handy phrase “F*#k it!”
88. If an other guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you might become lifelong buddies.
89. Princess Di’s death was almost just another obituary.
90. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
91. You never have to miss a sexual opportunity because you’re not in the mood.
92. You think the idea of punting a small dog is funny.
93. If something mechanical didn’t work, you can bash it with a hammer and throw it across the room.
94. New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
95. Porn movies are designed with your mind in mind.
96. You don’t have to remember everyone’s birthdays and anniversaries.
97. Not liking a person does not preclude having great sex with them.
98. Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: “So…notice anything different?”
99. Baywatch
100. There is always a game on somewhere.

Written by quigles

Nothing makes a great movie suck like people quoting it day in and day out for months at a time. It’s the go-to route used by individuals who aren’t clever enough to come up with their own material, made worse by them thinking (thanks to the select few that laughed at their referencing) they’ve suddenly become the most hilarious stand-up comedian since George Carlin. Hey dipshit – they were laughing at the actual line, not your “sensational” joke-telling abilities. In fact, you probably butchered it. It was a sympathy laugh. They all secretly hate you. You’re considered one big fucking joke. Even your psychiatrist thinks you should kill yourself. Also, your wife/girlfriend/hand is cheating on you.

And all because you wouldn’t stop quoting movies like these…

10. OFFICE SPACE

These three characters in “Office Space” are hilarious, but lets be honest, they’re also unlikable and annoying. So just when you think there’s nothing more aggravating than people quoting the same fucking movie over and over, this movie becomes popular and now people are quoting three alternatively irritating characters from the same fucking movie over and over. Meanwhile, I just stand back, stare aggressively, and clench my fist, waiting for the right moment to go postal and start shouting, “I’ll show you a fucking O-face, you cocksucking motherfucker!!” I have learned the courtrooms are not fond of this response.

Other overused quotes:

• “If things go well I might be showing her my O-face. ‘Oh… Oh… Oh!’ You know what I’m talkin’ about. ‘Oh!'”
• “Sounds like somebody’s having a case of the Mondays.”
• “So, Peter, what’s happening? Aahh, now, are you going to go ahead and have those TPS reports for us this afternoon?”
• “Excuse me, I believe you have my stapler…”
• “‘PC Load Letter’? What the fuck does that mean?”
• “I’ll tell you what I’d do, man: two chicks at the same time, man.”
• “Did you get that memo?”

9. MONTY PYTHON (all of them)

Yes, actually, I did expect the Spanish Inquisition. Maybe if you didn’t use the quote so goddamn much, I wouldn’t have.

Other overused quotes:

• “I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.”
• “It’s just a flesh wound.”
• “We are the knights who say… NI!”
• “What… is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?”

8. WEDDING CRASHERS

I’m going to conduct a test to see whether or not you’re qualified to quote “Wedding Crashers”.

Part 1: Do something that’s as funny as this…

Oh, too bad. You already failed.

Other overused quotes:

• “What’d you do with them? Motorboat? You play the motorboat? You motorboatin’ son of a bitch! You old sailor you!”
• “I don’t even know what the fuck a quail is!”
• “Mom! The meat loaf! Fuck!”
• “Are you kidding me? I love crab cakes! They’re phenomenal!”
• “I felt like Jodie Foster in “The Accused” last night.”
• “You shut your mouth when you’re talking to me!”

7. Anything with SAMUEL L. JACKSON

I think we can all agree, Samuel L. Jackson is the baddest motherfucker alive. His ability of taking an otherwise mundane sentence and injecting it with a level of such ferocity is incredible. And it’s all thanks to two little words. If used incorrectly though, those two little words can be deadly to a movie buff’s ears. They can turn something that was once completely badass into something that is, quite frankly, completely gay. This gayness stems from an inability to capture the awesomeness that is Sam “the mutha fuckin’ man” Jackson. Think you’re up to the task? You’re not. Don’t even bother trying. You’ll just fail at it like you do everything else in life. Motherfucker.

Other overused quotes:

• “Say what again. SAY WHAT AGAIN! I dare you, I double dare you, motherfucker! Say what one more goddamn time!”
• “English, MOTHERFUCKER! Do-you-speak it?”
• “I’ve had it with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane!”
• “AK-47. The very best there is. When you absolutely, positively got to kill every motherfucker in the room, accept no substitutes.”
• “Hey, all brothers don’t know how to use guns, you racist motherfucker.”
• “Oh now that’s low, even for a white motherfucker like you.”

6. THE 40 YEAR OLD VIRGIN

You know how I know you’re gay? Because you won’t stop quoting the same fucking joke over and over again.

Other overused quotes:

• “She was a ho… for sho.”
• “AHHH, Kelly Clarkson!”
• “You know how I know that you’re gay? You have a rainbow bumper sticker on your car that says, ‘I love it when balls are in my face’.”
• “I’m starvin’… let’s get some fuckin’ french toast!”
• “You’re puttin’ the pussy on a pedestal.”

5. ANCHORMAN

“Great Poseidon’s trident of racial injustice!”

“By the ball sweat of Hades’ dank nether regions!”

“Holy man-dolphins of the Utah state tax commission!”

See? I can do it too. It’s not that hard to come up with your own variations of Will Ferrell schtick. You just have to be as random as possible and end almost everything with an exclamation point.

For example, if you were at a party and the keg ran out, you could say (in the most Ferrell-like voice you have), “This alcoholic beverage has been a temptress to my taste buds, and now she’s abandoned me for her brother-in-law like the pirate whore she is. Oh cruel irony! Why must you encompass my love in such rainbow-shaped bowls of heartache and frustration!?”

Or, you could choose not to look like a jackass. Just stop imitating him full stop. He may be funny when he does it, but you’re not.

Other overused quotes:

• “I’m in a glass case of emotion!”
• “I love scotch. Scotchy, scotch, scotch. Here it goes down, down into my belly…”
• “You’re so wise. You’re like a miniature Buddha, covered in hair.”
• “It’s a formidable scent… It stings the nostrils. In a good way.”
• “I ate a big red candle!”
• “I would like to extend to you an invitation to the pants party. The… party. With the… with the pants. Party with the pants.”
• “Loud noises!”
• “I love lamp.”

4. The AUSTIN POWERS Series

This one has been especially painful to endure, because finding ways to contribute “Yeah, baby!” to a conversation is quite possibly the easiest thing in the world. Thus, even the dumbest of the dumb were doing it. The context didn’t even matter. If somebody said something you agreed with, a piss-poor imitation of Mike Myers would follow.

This was made even more popular because it allowed people to narrowly escape looking like a fool by changing an intelligent conversation into a “humorous” one. For example…

Smart Person #1: I find the latest news of this injustice egregiously underdeveloped.

Smart Person #2: Quite right. The esoteric nature of the crimes leads me to believe the government is creating a factually false pretense intended to elude the citizens.

Smart Person #1: How about you, what are your thoughts on the matter?

You: …uhh… Yeah, baby, yeah!

This of course would then lead to outbursts of laughter from everyone around you, as the topic would quickly change into a discussion about your amazing comical prowess and undeniable wit. Success!

(Note: I apologize on behalf on my poorly constructed “smart person” talk. I just strung a bunch of words I looked up in the thesaurus together in hopes of forming something remotely intellectual-sounding. I don’t even know if what I wrote makes any sense.)

Other overused quotes:

• “Why must I be surrounded by frickin’ idiots?”
• “I demand the sum of… ONE MILLION DOLLARS.”
• “Do I make you horny? Randy? Do I make you horny, baby, yeah, do I?”
• “Who throws a shoe? Honestly! You fight like a woman!”
• “Zip it!”
• “Well, listen up, sonny Jim: I ate a baby. Oh, aye, Baby: the other, other white meat. Baby: it’s what’s for dinner.”
• “I’m dead sexy.”

3. BORAT

Is your name Sacha Baron Cohen? No?

THEN SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH.

Other overused quotes:

• “My name-a Borat. I like you. I like sex. Is nice!”
• “I like to make sexy time!”
• “This suit is NOT BLACK!”
• “Do this have a pussy magnet?”
• “What’s up with it, vanilla face?”
• “Gypsy! Give me your tears! If you will not give them to me, I will take them from you!”

2. NAPOLEON DYNAMITE

This movie could’ve earned itself a nice little cult following among respectable movie buffs. Instead, thanks to Hot Topic and douchebag teeny boppers, it will forever be known as the film that led to countless beatings on the playgrounds against bandwagon hopping bitches who wore “Vote for Pedro” shirts and would never shut the fuck up about num-chucks and tater tots. If you were one of those kids, kindly fuck off. You’re not allowed to read my blog anymore.

No seriously, go away.

Other overused quotes:

• “You know, like nunchuck skills, bowhunting skills, computer hacking skills… Girls only want boyfriends who have great skills.”
• “Do the chickens have large talons?”
• “Don’t be jealous that I’ve been chatting online with babes all day.”
• “A freakin’ 12-gauge, what do you think?”
• “A liger. It’s pretty much my favorite animal. It’s like a lion and a tiger mixed.”
• “I caught you a delicious bass.”

1. 300

It was funny when the trailer came out. It was funny when the movie hit theaters. It was still pretty funny about a month after that. But for fuck’s sake, it’s been almost a year!

GIVE IT A REST ALREADY. Honestly, this is MADNESS!

(…Don’t you dare fucking say it… I will kill you.)

Other overused quotes:

• “Tonight, we dine in hell!”
• “Give them nothing! But take from them, everything!”
• “MORE AGGRESSIVE YELLING. RAWR.”

Written by photojojo

Tall glasses of lemonade, your legs sticking to the seat of your car, the days stretching languorously into the evening. What?s not to love about summer?

Oh, right. The stifling heat.

But that just brings us to another of summer?s joys: The cool comfort of the cinema.

In honor of some of our favorite summer blockbusters (Harry Potter and Transformers), we bring you our 10 11 most-favorite movie-effect tutorials. From Scarface to Sin City to Pirates of the Carribean to 300, we?ve got 11 great ways to go Hollywood on your photos. Read on!

Photojojo?s 11 Super Awesome Movie-Effect Photo Tutorial Roundup

Scarface

You know you look good in black and white. And you?ve been wanting to toss nose candy like confetti since you were knee-high to a grasshopper. Why not indulge yourself a little?

It?s time to say hello to your inner Cuban drug lord with a Scarface poster spoof.

Make a Scarface Poster from your Photos

Pirates of the Caribbean

You hardly ever get to pillage, your roomates hate it when you sing sea chanties and you don?t know where to find one of those awesome hats with the big feathers in ?em.

To top it all off, you think you might be coming down with scurvy. That?s 3 points for the pirates and 1 big healthy point for you. Arrrr!

Go have another orange, then sail the high seas in your very own Pirates poster, matey.

Make your own Pirates of the Caribbean Poster

Sin City

An evening with Nancy Callahan* may not be in the cards, but fancy up like a Frank Miller character and at the very least, you?ll boost your chances.

Take your shot on a trip to Sin City for a gritty and cool comicbook conversion.

* Seriously. She?s fictional.

Get a Sin City Makeover

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Pixar?s Cars

Your wheels are feelin? the heat this summer, too. Doesn?t that horseless carriage of yours deserve a little fun in the sun? A few Photoshop tweaks and your car will be grinning like a Cars car.

We can?t promise that it?ll talk to you, but we promise it will look awfully cute.

Turn your Car into a Cars Car

White Noise

Looking for a quick way to cool down? Send a shiver up your spine by adding a little White Noise to your image.

In the unlikely event that static on the television doesn?t totally creep you out (even though it?s so 1952), this one could be useful for subtly letting your loved ones know that they?re watching altogether too much television.

Put yourself in the tube with the White Noise Effect

300

So the Spartans didn?t do so well in the end. At least they had some pretty, stylized skies to gaze upon as they made their last stand.

Conbert your pics to the 300 look with a tutorial or via a Photoshop action. And if faking isn?t enough for you, bulk up with this guide to the authentic 300-inspired workout.)

Give your photos the ?300? Look

A Scanner Darkly

The posterized illustration-style look of last year?s Scanner Darkly managed to make Keanu look even more emotionless. If that?s possible.

That digital rotoscoping stuff is pretty, though. And this tutorial will show you how you can do it with your photos.

A Scanner Darkly

An ?Indie Movie? Effect

You like your coffee strong and your movies independent. You scoff at the movieplex crowd while dreaming of Maggie Gyllenhall and Zooey Deschanel.

Go your own way, Hipster.

Use this tutorial to give your photos an indie movie look.

Apply the ?Indie Movie? effect to your photos

The Old-Timey Effect

Love the classics? Think “talkies” are overrated? Put the 21st Century behind you and make your pictures look like old movie stills.

It wasn?t broken then, and it ain?t broken now.

Take your photos back in time with the Old-Timey effect

The Cheesy Chick Flick Effect

He lovers her, she loves him. She?s happier than she?s ever been, and they love taking walks on that sun-soaked beach you see there.

What more is there to say? Those sappy lovey dovey chick flicks might be formulaic, but we love ?em all the same.

There?s a formula to the chick flick movie poster, too. And this tutorial will tell you everything you need to know.

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Make a Romantic Movie Poster

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The ?Cinematic? Effect

For a general cinematic feel, try out this ?movie-like effect? tutorial.

A little cinematic blurring, a set of black bars, some color color changes, and you might be able to convince your friends they?re looking at your latest prints from the set.

The ?Cinematic? Effect

Want more?

• If it?s evil you want, make your home look like it?s haunted, complete with ominous skies, rain, and lightning.
• Into deep space? Create an exploding planet out of thin air (and gravel.)

Written by marvin

The American Presidency is the most honored and revered political office in the world. Great Generals, Attorneys and even Actors have had the honor of being referred as the Chief Executive of the United States of America. The following list contains the best United States Presidents of all time. My determination and analysis was objective as I thoroughly reviewed each President’s historical influence and actions while in office.

1. Abraham Lincoln

“I am a firm believer in the people. If given the truth, they can be depended upon to meet any national crisis. The great point is to bring them the real facts.” – Lincoln

Abraham Lincoln, was elected as the 16th President and nearly single handedly saved the Union during the American Civil War. Lincoln’s leadership during the Civil War was one of stern direction and no compromise however at the same time Lincoln clearly understood that he would have the task of Uniting the States once the North won the war. Lincoln’s actions and vision kept the union together and eventually led to the abolition of slavery in the United States.

2. Franklin Delano Roosevelt

“The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” – FDR

FDR was elected as the 32nd President and is the only President to serve four terms as President. Throughout his four terms in office, FDR had an enormous impact on America. Roosevelt worked tirelessly to end the Great Depression, including the creation and establishment of the New Deal implemented to assist America’s return to international prominence.

3. George Washington

“The nation which indulges towards another a habitual hatred, or an habitual fondness, is in some degree a slave. It is a slave to its animosity or to its affection, either of which is sufficient to lead it astray from its duty and its interest.” – Washington

Washington served as our first President and because of such set forth many important precedents and actions that were later followed by his predecessors. His insistence on not to become a “monarch” was pivotal for American politics. This two term precedent was only eclipsed when FDR served four terms. The 22nd amendment has made certain that no Presiednet will ever serve more than two terms.

4. Thomas Jefferson

“I tremble for my country when I reflect that God is just; that his justice cannot sleep forever. . . the Almighty has no attribute that can take side with us in such a contest.” – Jefferson

Thomas Jefferson, was elected as the third President of America and his decision to execute the Louisiana Purchase, nearly doubled the United States size overnight. Jefferson was known to be a strong state’s rights activist who realized the need for consolidating power in the federal government when necessary.

5. Theodore Roosevelt

“No Man is justified in doing evil on the grounds of expedience.” – Roosevelt”

Teddy made an enormous impact on America being known as the “Trust Buster” when he vigilantly conquered corrupt businesses. An avid outdoorsman, Teddy was deeply committed to conservation of American wildlife. Teddy established numerous national parks for preservation purposes and halted the rapid expansion of industrialization of his time.

6. Andrew Jackson

“It is to be regretted that the rich and powerful too often bend the acts of government to their selfish purposes.” – Jackson

Jackson’s election showcased the rise of the common man to the office of the president. Jackson was a man of humble beginnings and with his rise he became the epitome of the American dream. His fame and popularity was enormous. Jackson’s actions as a strong nationalist are evidenced by his controversial decisions to move the Native Americans during the Trail of Tears east of the Mississippi and his strong fight against the national bank.

7. Woodrow Wilson

“The history of liberty is a history of the limitations of governmental power, not the increase of it.” – Wilson

Wilson was at the helm of control when America was brought into the national stage. Wilson’s decision to enter World War I and away from isolationism were seen by many as violating Washington’s tenant of avoiding foreign entanglements. However this was unlike any war that Washington had experienced and Wilson’s hope of bringing the US into the League of Nations, later the United Nations was realized.

8. Harry S. Truman

“When even one American – who has done nothing wrong — is forced by fear to shut his mind and close his mouth, then all of Americans are in peril.” – Truman

Truman, was elected as the 33rd President and Truman entered into office during one of the most difficult times in American history. Truman made the decision to drop the atomic bombs on Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Truman then organized the end of World War II and established firm precedents for the beginning of the Cold War.

9. James K. Polk

“No president who performs his duties faithfully and conscientiously can have any leisure.” – Polk

With the exception of Jefferson, no other President has increased the size of the United States more than Polk. Polk arranged for the acquisition of New Mexico and California through the Mexican American War. Polk also claimed Oregon Territory after a new treaty with England. Polk stands for and embodies the U.S. notion of manifest destiny. Polk was also an extremely effective leader during the Mexican American War. Many historians consistently refer to him as the best one term president.

10. Dwight Eisenhower

“Every gun that is made, every warship that is launched, every rocket fired signifies in the final sense a theft from those who hunger and are not fed, those who are cold and not clothed” – Eisenhower

Eisenhower’s time in office was full of American prosperity and great economic gain. Eisenhower also provided key leadership used during the Cold War.

Honorable Mention / Personal Favorites

John F. Kennedy

“And so, my fellow Americans, ask not what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for your country.” – Kennedy

Bill Clinton

“I did not have sexual relations with that woman.” – Clinton

Who do you believe are the Best President’s of All Time? Did I miss any?

Written by kludge

• As long as the world turns, users will still have problems
• Substance abusers and computer operators are the only folks called users. This isn’t by chance
• When in doubt. Reboot
• Sooner or later you will meet a person who types out the words “backslash” or forgets to plug in the power cord. If you haven’t yet, just wait, you will
• Fear the phone. No one just calls tech support to wish you good morning
• No user will tell you the whole truth at the beginning of a call
• “I didn’t do anything” or “It just happened” Are the users mantra
• As a support tech, it is your job to break down resistance and get the truth
• This is so you can rub the lie in their face, fixing the issue is just a perk
• Some people will never learn
• This means you will always have a job
• Maintain a calm voice, even if you’re screaming on the inside
• The hold button is your friend
• Whatever you do, don’t panic
• The answer to all users questions should be “Trust me, I know what I’m doing” even if this is a bald-faced lie
• Users can smell fear. Once you’ve lost control, all is lost
• A user who is not listening to you anymore, but rather is trying “their own thing” is not worth your time. Simulate a telephone disconnect and hang up. Trust me, you’re better off.
• Sometimes fixing a computer is easier than figuring out why it was broken
• Users always want a reason things are fixed. If you’re not sure just lie. They won’t know anyway. “A stray electron passed through the processor and caused…”
• If possible ask to speak to the youngest person present

  clickety clickety…

Collected by Technospot

Ad business are getting smarter and these 15 are great examples of it. I bet you would say just awesome!!!!. You might have seen some but you wouldn’t have seen it all. So just check out the Smart Ads and comment what do you think ?

Update:The pics have uploaded to the google’s picasa web Album.

Written by Succeed With This

“An apple a day keeps the doctor away”?but why? Do you really know what makes an apple so special? Why is it that we never hear an orange or a banana a day keeps the doctor away?
Apples have properties that no other fruits have and its benefits have been proven overtime. You will be able to get the benefits of these properties individually with other fruits, but an apple combines everything and makes it simpler. It has been shown over and over that if it’s not simple, easy and fast, people won’t take care of their health.

1-Apple contains Vitamin C. Vitamin C helps greatly your immune system. A lot of people who lack Vitamin C in their diet have poor healing, bruise easily and have bleeding gums.

2-Prevent Heart Diseases. The reason it can prevent both coronary heart disease and cardiovascular disease is because apples are rich in flavonoid. Flavonoids are also known for their antioxidant effects.

3-Low in calories. A regular size apple has between 70-100 calories. Eating an apple when craving for candy or chocolate can make the desire disappear since apple in itself contains sugar, but gives you only ? of the calories.

4-Prevent Cancers. Notice the plural. We all know that cancer comes in several forms and in different places. Apples target multiple cancers such as colon cancer, prostate cancer and breast cancer in women.

5-Apples contain phenols, which have a double effect on cholesterol. It reduces bad cholesterol and increases good cholesterol. They prevent LDL cholesterol from turning into oxidized LDL, a very dangerous form of bad cholesterol which can be deadly.

6-Prevent tooth decay. Tooth decay is an infection that seriously damages the structure of your teeth, which is caused primarily because of bacteria. The juice of the apples has properties that can kill up to 80% of bacteria. So there you have it, an apple a day also keeps the dentist away!

7-Protects your brain from brain disease. This is something many people don’t know, and when you consider that your brain makes the person you are, it gives a whole new perspective. Apple has substances called phytonutrients, and these phytonutrients prevents neurodegenerative diseases like Alzheimer’s and Parkinsonism.

8-Healthier Lungs. A research at the University of Nottingham Research shows that people who eat 5 apples or more per week has lower respiratory problems, including asthma.

9-They taste great! And not only that, they also come in many flavors and colors. Not in a mood for a green apple? Why not get a red one, or a macintosh! Their taste can vary greatly, but still give you all the apple benefits. Variety is an important element to maintaining your health.

On average, Americans consume around 20 pounds of apples a year, which comes to around 1 apple a week. Unfortunately, while an apple a week is better than nothing, it is nowhere close to being able to extract all the advantages apples have to offer. Eating apples is part of balanced and healthy diet than will increase your longevity, so why limit yourself to only 1 per week?

Collected by BoreMe.com

“He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.”
Winston Churchill

“A modest little person, with much to be modest about.”
Winston Churchill

“I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.”
Clarence Darrow

“He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.”
William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

“Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?”
Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)

“Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I’ll waste no time reading it.”
Moses Hadas

“He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.”
Abraham Lincoln

“I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it.”
Groucho Marx

“I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.”
Mark Twain

“He has no enemies , but is intensely disliked by his friends.”
Oscar Wilde

“I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play, bring a friend… if you have one.”
George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

“Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second… if there is one.”
Winston Churchill, in response

“I feel so miserable without you, it’s almost like having you here.”
Stephen Bishop

“He is a self-made man and worships his creator.”
John Bright

“I’ve just learned about his illness. Let’s hope it’s nothing trivial.”
Irvin S. Cobb

“He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others.”
Samuel Johnson

“He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up.”
Paul Keating

“He had delusions of adequacy.”
Walter Kerr

“There’s nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won’t cure.”
Jack E. Leonard

“He has the attention span of a lightning bolt.”
Robert Redford

“They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge.”
Thomas Brackett Reed

“He inherited some good instincts from his Quaker forebears, but by diligent hard work, he overcame them.”
James Reston (about Richard Nixon)

“In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily.”
Charles, Count Talleyrand

“He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.”
Forrest Tucker

“Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?”
Mark Twain

“His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.”
Mae West

“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.”
Oscar Wilde

“He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts… for support rather than illumination.”
Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

“He has Van Gogh’s ear for music.”
Billy Wilder

Written by Turner, Lisa

Simplify your life-and boost your health-with these basic foods that really work You can nibble on goji berries, whip up noni juice smoothies and stock your shelves with antioxidants. But if you’re looking for what really works for optimal health and disease prevention, the best approach is to focus on foods that are rich in disease-fighting phytochemicals.

“Basic foods that have proven health benefits are what we want to emphasize.” says Steven Pratt, MD, author of SuperFoods Healthstyle. “For example, blueberries, broccoli and tomatoes have a large number of peer-reviewed published studies substantiating their health bent- fits. These foods are readily available, inexpensive and have other benefits, such as high fiber content. And they’ve been used for years, with m no drawbacks, side effects or toxicity; you’re never going to see a headline that blucherries are had for you.”

None of the foods on this lop 6 list will surprise you, but they may inspire you and help you feel good about the food you eat.

1. Broccoli

It’s still true: few foods measure up to broccoli for cancer- fighting potential. Broccoli is rich in sulforaphane, an antioxidant linked with a reduced risk of a number of cancers, especially lung, stomach, colon and rectal cancers. “The phytonuirients in broccoli help detoxify carcinogens found in the environment,” says Pratl. “They also have anti-inflammatory properties, and we know that an important factor in reducing the risk of disease is to decrease inflammation-” How to eat more: Saute broccoli florets with shallots and pine nuts, and drizzle with lemon juice; steam broccoli rabe and toss with a honey-mustard dressing.

2. Pumpkin

It’s not just for pie: pumpkin is one of the best sources of carotenoids, antioxidants that reduce the risk of cancer. Like sweet potatoes, carrots, butternut squash and other orange-red vegetables, pumpkin is rich in disease-preventive beta-carotene. “And pumpkin is also one of the highest sources of alpha-carotene, a powerful member of the carotenoid family that’s inversely related to cataract formation and boosts immunity,” Pratt says. How to eat more: Serve warm pumpkin puree with maple syrup and finely chopped pecans; make a simple pumpkin soup with pumpkin puree, vegetable or chicken stock, onions, black beans, cumin and cilantro.

3. Blueberries

Fragrant and sweet, blueberries are rich in amhocyanidins, compounds that help protect the heart, and may inhibit the growth of cancer cells. Studies suggest the blueberry anthocyanidins protect against neurodegenerative diseases like Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s, and can slow and even reverse age-related memory loss and decline in cognitive function. How to eat more: loss fresh blueberries with baby spinach leaves, chopped walnuts, thinly sliced red onions and olive oil; combine chopped blueberries, diced mango, minced jalapeno peppers and cilantro with lime juice for a tangy salsa.

4. Fish

It’s a great catch in terms of heart disease. Salmon and other fatty fish-like mackerel, lake trout, herring, sardines and tuna- are rich in omega-3 fatty acids that decrease the risk of heart attack and stroke, and may cut your risk of death from coronary artery disease in half. Omega-3 fats also have immune-enhancing and anti-inflammatory effects, reduce the risk of prostate and colon cancers, and ease the symptoms of rheumatoid arthritis and some psychiatric disorders. How to eat more: Top braised spinach with poached salmon, chopped tomatoes and black olives; combine chopped, cooked salmon with capers, minced onion, lemon juice and olive oil, and serve on crackers.

5. Spinach

Boost your vision and protect against cancer with spinach, one of iln- richest dietary sources of an anlioxidant called lutein. Lutein helps protect against heart disease and some cancers, and has been shown to reduce the risk of cataracts and macular degeneration. Spinach is also rich in beta-carotene, which may protect against cancer. Other lutein-rich foods include kale, collard greens, chard and beet greens. How to eat more: Saute baby spinach, diced tomatoes, minced garlic and red pepper flakes in olive oil; toss steamed spinach with tamari, toasted sesame oil and sesame seeds.

6. Tomatoes

Another reason to eat pizza: tomatoes are loaded with lycopene, an antioxidant that reduces the risk of prostate, breast, lung and other cancers, and has heart-protective effects. Research shows that the absorption of lycopene is greatest when tomatoes are cooked with olive oil. In one study, a combination of tomato and broccoli was more effective at slowing tumor growth lhan tomatoes or broccoli alone. How to eat more: Simmer chopped tomatoes and broccoli in olive oil, top with black olives and grated Asiagn cheese; drizzle halved Roma tomatoes with olive oil, sprinkle with pepper and minced rosemary leaves, and roast.

Copyright Active Interest Media Aug 2007

Source: Better Nutrition

Mutant abilities for the modern age.

Written by Stormy

When it comes down to it, most of the superpowers you see in comic books, TV, and movies aren’t the sorts of abilities you’d want to have yourself. While on the surface it might seem kick-ass to possess retractable metal claws or brain-shattering psionic abilities, powers like these tend to place a person on government watch lists or morally obligate them to fight crime. Plus, they can result in pesky accidents like stabbing your loved ones or having your body taken over by an alien lifeform. Here are some mutant abilities that might actually prove useful in your daily life without some of the more apocalyptic side effects:

1. Ultra Liver Function. With this power, you’ll be able to metabolize alcohol and clean your blood at 10 times the rate of a normal human being. You can slide tequila shot after jager shot down your throat without any concern that it might come back up in the morning, and move from Power Hours to Power Centuries with no hangovers or late-night trips to the ER. This power does, however, come with one drawback: it costs a hell of a lot money to get drunk.

2. The Human Condom. This power grants you the inability to contract, carry, or transmit any sexually transmitted infection, from genital warts to HIV. Although you’ll still require contraception, you can engage in sexual encounters relatively worry and health insurance-free. Plus, you’ll still be able to catch non-sexually transmitted ailments and enjoy the occasional guilt-free sick day.

3. Wifi Brain. Plenty of people have wifi phones, but the wifi brain allows you to access the Internet instantly and discreetly. This is the perfect power for pub trivia, winning bets, and getting through boring meetings. The trick to this power is keeping it a secret – otherwise, your friends will constantly be asking you to check their email.

4. Gaydar. To prevent embarrassing social situations and avoid lengthy, unrequited crushes on persons of the wrong sexual orientation, gaydar would let you know the exact Kinsey number of every individual in a quarter mile radius. A corollary to this power would tell you whether a particular love-target has a significant other, and how likely they are to hook up with you.

5. Polymorph Clothing. If your clubbing clothes are out of date, you need to go to a formal dinner right after a work meeting, or you just need an awesome Halloween costume, simply morph your clothing into the perfect outfit for the occasion. Incidentally, if you happen to be one of those crime-fighting superheros, this is a much better way to hide your secret identity than wearing your spandex under your suit.

6. Pepper Spray Breath. Okay, maybe your friend is a little too fond of insulting the mothers of large, drunken men. Maybe that guy who seemed really cool downstairs is a tad too aggressive when you get him into your room. You don’t really want to hurt anyone (after all, you don’t want to be a superhero), but you do want to get these people away, quickly and possibly permanently. Through a small glad in the back of your mouth, you could shoot a small but painful stream of pepper spray, quickly disabling any potential assailant. The bonus is you’d have an especially high tolerance for spicy foods. The con is that TSA would probably never let you fly.

7. Humor ESP. You’ve got a great joke involving St. Peter, a stripper, and a tricycle, but you’re not sure how it will go over with your friend’s new boyfriend, whom you’ve only met once but get the feeling doesn’t really like you. Your humor ESP will let you know whether the joke will end in laughs or a theological debate. This peculiar psychic ability also comes in handy when you want to come up with the exact line to scare off that guy at the bar who just won’t leave you alone.

8. Mute Button. Silence crying babies, Lyndon LaRouche supporters, and cell phones that play “Fergalicious” by rendering them temporarily mute. Tragically, this power would only work in person, meaning that morning talk show hosts, cable news pundits, and televangelists must still be silenced through conventional technological methods.

9. Gravity-Defying Body Parts. Some superheroes can fly. The rest of us need those gravity-defying powers to touch only certain parts of our body, such as booty, breasts, abs, and face. It seems that drag queens, Farah Fawcett, and certain cosplayers have already harnessed this power for hair, but simply won’t share the technology.