Written by KING Magazine
For dudes who split bills on fast-food dates, KING offers a template for sophistication. Relax and take notes.
The Gentlemen Panel: Fonzworth Bentley, Pacino Bing, John Delgado, Gerrell Gaddis, Damon Gales, Claveria “JoJo” Gumersindo, Rashaun Hall, Sheldon Hall, Grant Hill, Chris Mathis, Adam Matthews, Zach McCall, Mark Rooney, Jalen Rose, Anslem Samuel, Chiun-Kai Shih, Musiq Soulchild, Jamal Sullivan, Q-Tip, Greg Watkins, Pat Wilcox
50. A warm iron and a can of spray starch can do wonders. Invest in them even if you don’t wear slacks and button-ups regularly.
49. “If you buy one pair of shoes and one suit per year, you’ll have a nice collection soon enough. It’s an investment. Also, know your measurements and sizes, because you might find a woman who wants to hook you up and get a suit made.”-Chris Mathis, 36, barber
48. Wearing a fitted hat on your commute to work with your business suit or with just pants and a dress shirt isn’t a good look.
47. “Tone down the bagginess a bit without wandering into nut-hugger territory. Showing your ass and boxers is not appealing in any setting.”-Anslem Samuel, 31, magazine editor
46. Find a good tailor.
45. T-shirts should fall just below your waist, and the seam of the shoulder should be right on your shoulder.
44. Wear a belt. It’s called underwear for a reason.
43. Don’t try to outdress a woman. She should be the center of attention and should not feel that she’s underdressed.
42. “The world is bigger than your hood and the places your favorite rappers represent. Try to travel to a place where your cell phone won’t work. That’s when you know you’ve actually gone somewhere. If you can’t afford to put your passport on pivot, try reading a book or travel guide about the place you’d like to visit.”-A. Samuel
41. Barnes & Noble should be your best friend.
40. “[As far as books], start with the classics: Catcher in the Rye, The Count of Monte Cristo, The Odyssey, Crime and Punishment.”-Q-Tip, 38, rapper/producer/actor
39. If reading books the size of War & Peace seems daunting, peruse different types of magazines-ones covering art, architecture, design or photography.
38. Try not to go straight to the sports section of the newspaper.
37. Watch the news, preferably more than one channel. Suggestions: BBC, MSNBC, CNN and, yes, even FOX News.
36. Being open-minded and aware of the world around you shows class and sophistication, but avoid seeming pretentious by being modest instead of showing off what you know.
35. “There will come a time when you outgrow the dudes you grew up with. Have a beer with them once in a while, but it’s OK to move on and be friendly with new people.”-Adam Matthews, 36, journalist
34. Go easy on the slang, especially among those who are already judging you based on race and age.
33. Don’t just talk the talk.
32. Look people in the eyes when you greet them and shake their hand.
31. “Take criticism with an open mind. You can improve from listening to superiors and by changing your actions to serve them. Don’t mess with the pack order-it’s there for a reason.”-A. Matthews
30. Be on time to meetings-early if you can.
29. In meetings, don’t hold conversations at the same time someone else is speaking. Let the person finish his point before giving yours.
28. “Memphis Bleek had one good line: ‘The strong move quiet, the weak start riots.’ Don’t be the guy who always needs attention on him or starts problems over small stuff.”-Mark Rooney, 31, salesman
27. Don’t talk down to coworkers, including subordinates. You may be above them in rank, but as a human being, you’re on a level playing field.
26. “Look for the people who will make your job easier. You can’t do everything yourself, so you’re going to need help. These people will be pivotal to your success. And always thank them and show your appreciation when they come through for you.”-Claveria “JoJo” Gumersindo, 36, quality management
25. Don’t be afraid to share the spotlight in your workplace. Rather than being self-centered, work together with somebody of equal ambition. You don’t always have to be in the front seat-the backseat is cool.
24. Don’t think because someone has money, he’s a good businessman; there are people with no money who are better.
23. “You don’t want to do anything and everything just for a buck. I’ve walked away from deals a number of times that I think were good deals, but I didn’t think they were good people.”-Grant Hill, 35, Phoenix Suns small forward
22. Learn more about food and where to eat it cheaply. Most cities have great ethnic food; you just have to go to a specific neighborhood to get it.
21. If you initiate a dinner date or meeting, then you should expect to pay. That works both ways.
20. At a restaurant, let women order food first, and stand up when a woman leaves the table.
19. Avoid unnecessary use of expletives in public, especially in the presence of a woman you’re trying to impress.
18. Unless your Fight Club membership is in danger of being revoked, walk away from altercations.
17. Always put your napkin in your lap at dinner. Stuffing it in your shirt is grounds for getting slapped.
16. Caveman behavior at the dinner table isn’t good. Use utensils, avoid chewing with your mouth open and don’t leave a messy plate.
15. When eating out, always tip more than 20 percent. Waiters live off of customers’ kindness. And you don’t want to make other people at your table reach into their pocket to cover your cheapness.
14. “Treat older women as if they were your own mother.”-C. Mathis
13. Always have a woman walk on the inside of the sidewalk and on the side of parked cars in a parking lot, basically using your body as a barrier from harm.
12. Sometimes the best movies are in the independent market. Documentaries are great educational sources, too.
11. If you’re trying to have a relationship, let the woman know. If you’re not, and you’re just trying to hit, let them know that, too.
10. Brush your teeth, gargle or have a breath mint before getting up close and personal.
9. If the opportunity presents itself on the first night, don’t pull a condom out of your wallet. She’ll get the impression that you’re premeditated and will be turned off.
8. Even if you’re having a one-night stand with a woman, be respectful. Jay-Z might brag about kicking women out five minutes after having sex with them, but he’s not having sex with your date-you are. Casual sex needn’t be disrespectful. In fact, it’s more fun when its not.
7. “Don’t fall asleep when you’re done. Just because you got yours doesn’t mean the night is over.”-JoJo
6. “If you’re not into oral, you better get into it. Not with every woman, of course, but someone you’re serious with.”-C. Mathis
5. “If you want her to be your devil, treat her like an angel.”-Gerrell Gaddis, 32, songwriter
4. Don’t ask about the last guy she was with; as in, “Was I better than he was?” Being competitive is a young man’s game.
3. Never forget to introduce your woman as your girlfriend, spouse or otherwise to people when you’re out at functions together.
2. Avoid public fights with your woman. Keep things private to let her know there’s an exclusive world that you and her share.
1. “Young guys should pump their brakes. Don’t have kids until you’re 30, and look at her family and background to know what you’re getting into.”-C. Mathis
Love them or hate them, social networking sites are here to stay. Facebook and MySpace are among the most popular destinations on the web. And even though they can be extremely annoying, there is one inescapable fact: the most irritating thing about Facebook is the 100m-strong army of people who use it.
So Android has arrived with the announcement of the T-Mobile G1. The HTC-manufactured phone certainly has a few nice touches, despite its lack of multi-touch (and with T-Mobile’s particular variant, no accelerometer).
One female in the entire population. One red-hatted elder who holds no real power but is in charge of keeping the village work organized. Everyone has the same size house. Everyone has the same power and authority. Everyone has a unique skill that contributes to the harmony of the population. Everyone is blue. Smurf your smurfing communist conspiracies, this was a wholesome tale about being unique. While they all looked the same, dressed the same, and lived the same, they all had unique personality traits that helped to save the group from mean old Gargamel and that hungry, misunderstood Azrael. Coincidentally, there was a local band back in the mid-nineties called Liquid Azrael who did a mean cover of Sesame Street’s 1-2-3-5-6-7-8-9-10-11-12. SMURF YOU! I thought that was entirely smurfing relevant to the discussion (smurfing smurf-holes…).
Bouncing here and there and everywhere. You remember the show, don’t you? Disney animated Gummi Bears was a fun romp following the escapades of the furry little bears who drank magic Gummiberry Juice and bounced around the forest and outsmarted Duke Igthorn every week. The production quality of the show was great and would set the benchmark for all the other great Disney cartoons that would soon follow it. The show began the great Disney Afternoon timeslot run, which included many great shows such as DuckTales, Darkwing Duck, Chip ‘n Dale Rescue Rangers, TaleSpin, and Gargoyles.
GI Joe: A Real American Hero was a half an hour of pure entertainment. Hawk and Sgt. Slaughter on operations with the significance on par with the biggest moments in history. Could Hasbro have any idea how successful GI Joe would be in the animation realm? These cartoons were flashy, loud, in your face, and all around dominating. GI Joe’s strength and rigor were consistently tested by Cobra who was always stealing shit like teleportation units and weapons that could manipulate weather. These were certainly large tasks for the GI Joe team all bundled up in half an hour segments. You got what you sat down for when watching GI Joe. You wanted these cartoon to last an hour instead.
He-Man was the strongest of the strong. The most powerful of the most powerful, and he embodied all these qualities in the 80’s cartoon that spoke to a generation of nerds who wanted to hold the power of He-Man. Maybe we also liked the fact that He-Man could probably get any women he wanted to, and we couldn’t. At least we were honest in our admiration of that which was better than us lonely nerds seeking solace in a fictional cartoon. Who else could blow a gust of wind so powerful that it could knock opponents off a cliff? Who else could rub their hands together fast enough to turn sand into glass? He-Man is the ubermanch of the modern cartoon world. If only it were real. If only we were able to be He-Man for one day.
Transformers Generation 1 was a firestorm for the cartoon market. It had everything a kid wanted. Robots destroying robots. Robots transforming into even bigger robots. Robots combining powers to destroy even bigger combining transforming robots. This show was huge and anyone who ever wanted to be a machine man would identify with Transformers austere disposition. Was there ever more of a recognizable robot in all of cartoon fiction that Optimus Prime? He is referenced everywhere in modern TV and for good reason. He was the first non-sentimental protagonist in robot history. He smashed buildings at will and dominated destructive bots at the drop of an oil spill from his energy tank. The transition from comic book to cartoon was flawless for Transformers, with the cartoon actually becoming more successful than the comic book. This certainly can be called a smooth transition.
Of course we had to include Mario Brothers on our list, not only because it’s Nintendo’s main protagonist, but because the show had such great storylines and ironic twists that it led to a pure entertainment experience. Luigi was being pulled down drains, Mario was rapping with Milli Vanilli up in the clouds, and the Princess was looking as good Natalie Portman in Closer. Their adventures would take them to the sea, the desert and to all the areas in the actual Mario Brothers game. Everyone who played the Mario games enjoyed this cartoon. Bowser was up to his old antics chasing the brothers around the world all the while contemplating world domination. The Mario Brothers can never do wrong, and they continued their successful streak with this fun cartoon.
Rescue Rangers went side by side with Duck Tales with the title of greatest cartoon of the 80’s. The adventures of Chip and Dale would last in the viewers head for some time to come. They were always avoiding a fat cat who appropriately smoked a massive cigar signifying smoking negativity to an impressionable youth. Gadget came up with the best technological designs to ward off the fat cat while always looking stunning for a pale faced rat. Both Chip and Dale would fight over her throughout the series. Some of these conflicts became some of the best moments in the cartoon series. Some of the most memorable moments came from their adventures on their hot air balloon traversing the globe in search of their desires. Memorable characters, great inventions, great story lines, Rescue Rangers was a great cartoon.
The eighties were all about team work, and no cartoon exemplified this more than Thundercats. Generally speaking, cats are solitary creatures, except for lions of course, which is probably why Lion-o was the leader, since he was the only one who had experience working in groups. You never see packs of cheetahs or jaguars though, let alone a mixed pack of the feline species, or kingdom, or phylum, or whatever (I was never good at biology). Anyway Thundercats had a similar plot to Superman, their planet blew up and they had to flee so they ended up crashing on a planet called Third Earth. What happened to the first two we’ll never know since that was never addressed in the plot. They also fought a mummy and creatively enough his name was Mum-ra. This show was great, personally I loved the snarfs the most. Though I often wondered if the thundercats would eat them if times got bad. I also had a huge crush on Cheetara, she was such a babe.
Everyone remembers the theme song to Duck Tales, and for good reason. Everyone watched every episode of this show. After school at 4:00, you knew where you were. You were on the couch eating an early dinner or snack watching Duck Tales. Scrooge McDuck and the boys were constantly getting into trouble or preventing trouble. The adventures that the three of them would go on would be epic. They went through Amazon rain forests, go back in time to ancient Greece, and even deep underwater looking for a fortune for their rapacious uncle. This show would never get dull, and the viewer was always on edge experiencing the tales of the young anthropomorphic ducks. Duck Tales was one of the best of the 80’s cartoons. You couldn’t watch just one episode.
This was the pinnacle of 80s cartoons. It combined all the genius of the previously listed cartoons, animals (specifically lions), robots, magic, monsters, space travel, swords, babely babes, and mean bitches. The five robot lines were each stored in the most awesome garages ever, needless to say they were perfectly suited for the elemental association each lion carried with it. Keith was the leader, he was your typical hero, quick on his feet and cool in command. Lance was the cool guy, he might have been French, I don’t know, either way I bet he got laid the most, he had that sort of troubled vibe. The princess was also a babe, I had a crush on her too. Imagine a threesome with her and Cheetara, now that would be freaky. Then there was the nerd pidge. He seemed like the type that might have installed a camera in the princess’s shower. Finally was the muscle, Hunk. He’s the guy you take to the bar so when you pick a fight he can beat everyone up.
“Just do it.” Three simple words that are simply powerful.