Written by Streeter Seidell
Illustration: Nishant Choksi
1. Back in my day, we only needed 140 characters.
2. There used to be so much snow up here, you could strap a board to your feet and slide all the way down.
3. Televised contests gave cash prizes to whoever could store the most data in their head.
4. Well, the screens were bigger, but they only showed the movies at certain times of day.
5. We all had one, but nobody actually used it. Come to think of it, I bet my LinkedIn profile is still out there on the Web somewhere.
6. 
*
7. Our bodies were made of meat and supported by little sticks of calcium.
8. You used to keep files right on your computer, and you had to go back to that same computer to access them!
9. Is that the new iPhone 27G? Got multitasking yet?
10. I just can’t get used to this darn vat-grown steak. Texture ain’t right.
* Translation: "English used to be the dominant language. Crazy, huh?"
How is this the best of the web?
Umm… All you did was copy a short article from Wired.
Very observant Connor. This would be a site where they find an article they like and repost it. Neat huh?
6. Don’t count on it.
I walked 5 miles to school in the snow and it was uphill both ways.
We had an extra planet.
hahaha, reminds me of the http://www.pomegranatephone.com …
Ha! I miss Pluto. =(