Written by JetSetCD
It’s easy to make stupid tourist mistakes in London, England; the city is huge and there is tons to see. But if your first language is English and you’ve ever been to a big city before, you have no excuse for making a few easily-avoided oopsies. We’ve covered the five absolute worst mistakes, but we know there are a score more.
So without further ado, here is the Jaunted guide of What Not To Do In London: The Top 5 Tourist Mistakes.
Check them out, after the jump.
5. DON’T confuse Tower Bridge with London Bridge
So you’re tempted to stroll along the Embankment by the Thames singing “London Bridge is falling down” to youself, but dudeโthe original London Bridge is long gone. In fact, it’s in Lake Havasu City, Arizona, because they bought it from London in the 1970s and installed it in their town, and that’s still not even the clogged-with-buildings historical version of the Bridge mentioned in the song. Rest assured, there is still a London Bridge over the Thames, but it’s nothing special and hard to distinguish from any other bridge. Just don’t point at the bridge in the picture above and claim that this one is London Bridge, because it’s just not. That’s Tower Bridge, and it always has been.
4. DON’T drive, walk or stand on the wrong side of the street and sidewalk
The cars might drive on the left side of the street in Britain and every pedestrian crosswalk may be painted with a “LOOK LEFT” or “LOOK RIGHT” to remind you of this fact, but the directions don’t apply to everything. Take, for instance, walking on a sidewalk. The pedestrian traffic flow is on the right, and you should also be aware of escalator etiquette: it’s stand on the right and walk on the left there.
3. DON’T shop on Oxford or Regent Streets
The only good thing that Regent Street has going for it is the large Apple store with its free WiFi signal that leaks out. Otherwise, these streets are a crush of confused tourists shopping at H&M or other chain stores they could usually find at home. If you are however desperate to do some shopping like this, you can find the same shops in nicer environs and less congestion on Kensington High Street or Kings Road. Slightly related tip: don’t wear “Mind the Gap” or Union Jack shirts fresh from purchasing them as souvenirs; you become a target for pickpockets and thieves, because you are obviously a confused tourist.
2. DON’T go to Buckingham Palace hoping to see the Queen, or even thinking that she’s there
Just because the Union Jack flag is flying high above the Palace doesn’t mean that they whole royal family is sitting in there, having tea or something and gazing out at you. The Queen herself is only in if you see more guards wearing their red jackets and huge hats than usual and the royal standard is raised on the flagpole too, and it looks like this. When we were there last week, she was not in, and yet hoards of tourists were clinging to the gate and staring up at the window expectantly, and for a while too!
1. DON’T pay to go to a museum
The majority of London’s museum are completely free, and sort of de facto hangout places for locals even. If your plans include any of these big museums: Tate Modern, British Museum, the National Gallery, Tate Gallery, Victoria & Albert Museum, National Portrait Gallery, National Maritime Museum, and the Imperial War Museum (and many more!), then you can just walk in and have a great time without laying down a single sterling. These should exhaust you pretty well, so that you hopefully aren’t even tempted to pay the exorbitant 16.50 GBP ($26) per person entrance fee to the Tower of London or the 7 GBP to go upstairs in Tower Bridge. Just say no.
What are your London DOs and DON’Ts? Have you done any of the above and loved or regretted it? Let us know in the comments!
[Photos: Jaunted, The Rocketeer, and Jaunted]
DO ride the double-decker tour bus in the open-air on top. You will see (and hear) more in that loop than you could possible see/hear in a day w/o a guide. You can get off, visit an area then get back on with the same ticket. I think it was about $20USD.
NEVER enter a church in London through the exit. We did and the result was colliding with a girl from the choral singing inside. She was sick and vomited all over the little brother of my friend. God’s punishment for ignoring the exit signs XD
Also: If you see someone in the underground sitting on the ground, holding a big bag in his hands who starts to sing in Arabic: watch the London people. If they get nervous and jump out the next stop you better do the same. (or, as it happened in our case: stay inside when the singing/praying man starts to follow those who jumped out).
Never throw darts onto a heater. It will break. Promise.
Also never try to fix the heater with superglue. It won’t work.
If you have a magnetic strip on your underground ticket make sure not to rub it onto the hand part of an escalator. It will delete all your data!
If you wanna see a musical (which you should) don’t get your tickets in the theatre but in the underground stations. There are so many sellers selling the tickets so much cheaper…
Oh, and if you are in a bookshop and buy something, make sure the seller knows you’re foreign. There might be some free chocolate for you.
God, this was the most exciting and fun holiday I ever had XD
Do Donate to museums, the museums have a donation box some snazzy some plain for you to put your ยฃ $ or euros in, please no monopoly money or buttons. Do not talk in a loud voice or say to a Scot do you speak English , you a liable to get a Glasgow kiss. Do write colour, not color. do say niche, as in teach
do not say niche as in nitch.
Do visit the Wellcome collection, http://is.gd/7Ntp9 it is free. Do not say fanny when referring to your big bum. do say bumper not fender.
The Tower of London is fascinating. I wouldn’t tell people not to go.
DON’T talk on the tube. As soon as Londoners get onto the train, they stop talking, because they are respectful of one another and they don’t want everyone else listening in to their conversation. When people talk on the tube, it either means they are inebriated, excited teenagers, or tourists.
If the weather is warm, DO go to the park. London has plenty of parks that become de facto beaches for sun worshippers in the hot summer months. There are also plenty of concerts that take place in Hyde Park over the summer that are very popular (e.g. Proms in the park, party in the park, etc).
DON’T EVER buy food from a street vendor who sells nuts, burgers or hot dogs from a metal cart in the street. These are not regulated and have been known to use bad meat (like, bird meat) in their hot dogs.
DON’T feed the pigeons. Seriously, only tourists would ever do this.
DO take a mini-folding umbrella with you everywhere you go. You never know when it’ll rain.
DON’T buy a paper train or bus ticket with cash. Put money on your oystercard and your fare will be 30% to 50% cheaper.
I made the mistake #4… I was really disappointed :p
I meant number #2 and not #4
#1 Choosing London as a holiday destination.
What’s wrong with The Tower of London? Yes, a might expensive, but I thought it was well worth it given the enormous amount of history that took place there.
And what’s with telling people where NOT to shop? If somebody wants to shop on Oxford or Regents streets while in London, who cares?
And if you are going to the expense of taking a trip to London, just fork over another $18 and buy the Rick Steves London guidebook. More than everything you’ll need to know and way better tips than this lame web site.
The tower of London is boring as hell, and definitely not worth the money, don’t bother with it.
Only interesting thing is the crown jewels, and you have to pay EXTRA to get in there. Bloody rip off.
Colchester Castle in Essex is more interesting, but obviously I suppose tourists in London aren’t gonna be going outside it. But it’s only about 30 minutes away, give it a go. Cheaper and much less dull. Unless you’re in to all those stupid beefeater people shouting really loud, and looking at sod all with a huge sign telling you all the stuff that’s gone on there.
I suppose some people might be.
Nice article! Thanks!
this is such useful tips. I also have a blog about Sihanoukville (http://sihanoukville.info/safety/) this would help you if you're planning to go to Sihanoukville.
In China it’s common to see personal residents to make the move to photo voltaic power. Like in any nation the initial expense is excessive, however putting a number of photo voltaic panels in your roof will repay in the long run. It is good for you and it’s good for the environment. Everyone wins, proper? Not so quick, skippy. That is China, remember?