Monthly Archives: April 2010

9 Deadly Words User By A Women

1) Fine
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

2) Five Minutes
If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3) Nothing
This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

4) Go Ahead
This is a dare, not permission. Don’t Do It!

5) Loud Sigh
This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot
and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

6) That’s Okay
This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That’s okay means she wants to think long and hard before
deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7) Thanks
A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you’re welcome. (I want to add in a clause here – This is true, unless she says ‘Thanks a lot’ – that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say ‘you’re welcome’ . that will bring on a ‘whatever’).

8 ) Whatever
Is a woman’s way of saying F– YOU!

9) Don’t worry about it, I got it
Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This
will later result in a man asking ‘What’s wrong?’ For the woman’s response refer to #3. (source)

Bonus: Race you to the bottom!

The Top 25 Simpsons Moments & Quotes

Written by Prose Before Hos

After devoutly watching the Simpson’s for 15 years, I thought I’d share my favorite 25 Simpson’s scenes, quotes, and other miscellany sequences from the history of the show. The majority of the quotes from seasons 5-10, but feel free to add your own in the comments (and perhaps I’ll expand it to 50 if a lot more get added).

Bill Cosby Knows the Hip Hop1. Bill Cosby explains ‘the rap music’ and kids, all while including all his favorite corporate sponsors:

Cosby: Hey, kids! Meet Grampa Murphy.

Child: We have three grampas already!

Cosby: This one’s a great jazz musician.

Child: Oh, they all are.

Cosby: Oh, oh: you see, the kids, they listen to the rap music which gives them the brain damage. With their hippin’, and the hoppin’, and the bippin’, and the boppin’, so they don’t know what the jazz
is all about! You see, jazz is like the Jello Pudding Pop — no, actually, it’s more like Kodak film — no, actually, jazz is like the New Coke: it’ll be around forever, heh heh heh.

Homer Sweet Sweet Can2. Homer Learns About Taking His Side to the Press

Homer: Somebody had to take the babysitter home. Then I noticed she was sitting on [cut] her sweet [cut] can. [cut] — o I grab her — [cut] sweet can. [cut] Oh, just thinking about [cut] her [splice] can [cut] I just wish I had he — [cut] sweet [cut] sweet [cut] s-s-sweet [cut] can.

Jones: So, Mr. Simpson: you admit you grabbed her can. What do you have to say in your defense?

Homer: [looking lustful in a clearly-paused VCR shot]

Jones: Mr. Simpson, your silence will only incriminate you further. [paused shot of Homer grows larger] No, Mr. Simpson, don’t take your anger out on me. Get back! Get back! Mist — Mr. Simpson — nooo!

Over-Voice: Dramatization — may not have happened.

3. Kang speaks volumes on American politics

Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen, 73-year-old candidate, Bob Dole.

Kang: Abortions for all.

[crowd boos]

Very well, no abortions for anyone.

[crowd boos]

Hmm
 Abortions for some, miniature American flags for others.

[crowd cheers and waves miniature flags]

4. Gas, the world’s only unlimited resource.

Canyonero!

Well, it goes real slow with the hammer down, It’s the country-fried truck endorsed by a clown!

The Federal Highway commission has ruled the Canyonero unsafe for highway or city driving.

12 yards long, 2 lanes wide, 65 tons of American Pride!

Top of the line in utility sports, unexplained fires are a matter for the courts!

She blinds everybody with her super high beams, She’s a squirrel crushing, deer smacking, driving machine!

5. Homer doesn’t want to deal with Grimey (heya Strech)to professionalism

Marge: Homer, why aren’t you at work?

Homer: The car won’t start. I don’t feel very good today. I am at work.

Marge: You’re afraid to go to work because Frank Grimes will be there, aren’t you?

Homer: That’s crazy talk. You’re crazy, Marge. Get off the road!

[honks horn]

Marge: You have to face him sometime, and when you do I’m sure he’ll be just as anxious to make up as you are.

Homer: No he won’t, he hates me.

Marge: He doesn’t hate you. He just feels insecure because you’re getting through life so easily, and it’s been so difficult for him.

Homer: Yeah, yeah, that’s his problem, he’s a nut! It’s not about me being lazy, it’s about him being a crazy nut.

Marge: Well 
 maybe. But I bet he would be less crazy if you were just a little more, mmm, professional in your work.

Homer: [gasps]

Marge: Just a little more. Then he won’t have any reason to resent you.

Homer: I’ll do it! [produces a bottle of Duff] To professionalism!

picture-5.png6. That’s it, I’m going to clown college.

Emcee: And now, to help introduce our fantastic new burger — the one with ketchup — here he is, coming in by parachute: Krusty the Klown!

[sound of Homer yelling, getting rapidly louder] [he smashes through the hamburger display; his parachute floats gently after him]

Children: Yay!

Homer: “To audience: I now proclaim this new burger
for sale!”

Children: Yay!

Homer: [sees emcee motioning, laughs like Krusty] [Homer does some inept cartwheels] Oh
save me.

Children: Yay!

[a midget in a prison outfit and mask walks out]

Child: It’s the Krusty Burglar!

Homer: Ohmigod! He’s stealing all the burglars! Why you little –

[jumps Krusty Burglar, starts pummeling him]

Emcee: Oh, Homer, it — it’s all — it — it’s all j — jus — just an act!

Child: [crying] Stop! Stop, he’s already dead.

Emcee: Er, Krusty the Klown, everybody!

[a few children clap; the rest are too horrified]

7. Quintessential Moleman.

Audience: Boo! Boo!

Burns: Smithers
are they booing me?

Smithers: Uh, no, they’re saying “Boo-urns! Boo-urns!”

Burns: Are you saying “boo” or “Boo-urns”?

Audience: Boo! Boo!

Hans: I was saying “Boo-urns”


8. It still sounds better than Applebee’s

Moe: If you like good food, good fun, and a whole lot of
crazy crap on the walls, then come on down to Uncle Moe’s Family Feedbag.

Announcer: At Moe’s, we serve good old-fashioned home cooking deep fried to perfection.

[Moe submerges a whole tray covered with food, utensils,etc., in the deep fryer]

[he takes the fried tray to a couple, who break off pieces and give him the thumbs-up]

9. Set your clock to the jock’s haircut:

Grandma: His wild, untamed facial hair revealed a new world of rebellion, of change. A world where doors were open for women like me. But Abe was stuck in his button-down plastic-fantastic Madison Avenue scene.

Abe: Look at them sideburns! He looks like a girl. Now, Johnny Unitas — there’s a haircut you could set your watch to.

Is my lip supposed to bleed like this, football star Johnny Unitas?

10. Sideshow Bob explains everyone’s hidden desire for draconian Republican politics:

Bob: Because you need me, Springfield. Your guilty conscience may force you to vote Democratic, but deep down inside you secretly long for a cold-hearted Republican to lower taxes, brutalize criminals, and rule you like a king. That’s why I did this: to protect you from yourselves.

picture-4.png11. The Worlds Smartest Man: Larry Flynt

Council: Stephen Hawking!

Skinner: The world’s smartest man!

Lisa: What are you doing here?

Hawking: I wanted to see your utopia, but now I see it is more of a Fruitopia.

Skinner: I’m sure what Dr. Hawking means is –

Hawking: Silence. I don’t need anyone to talk for me, except this voice box. You have clearly been corrupted by power. For shame.

Homer:Larry Flynt is right! You guys stink!

12. Vegetarianism is for commies.

Lisa: Wait Dad! Good news, everyone! You don’t have to eat meat! I’ve got enough gazpacho for everyone. [Crowd murmurs.] It’s tomato soup, served ice cold!

[Crowd laughs out loud.]

Barney: Go back to Russia!

Can I borrow a feeling?13. Can you lend me a jar of love?

Krik: Oh, my demo tape!

Homer: [Homer examines the tape] “Can I Borrow a Feeling?”

[laughing] “Can I Borrow a Feeling?”

[continues laughing] That’s your picture on the front


[still laughing]

Kirk: Go ahead, Homer, laugh at me.

Homer: I already did.

14. The Infinite Power of DJ Robots

Boss: Look, our ratings are down, and the station is being swamped with angry calls and letter-bombs. And it’s all your fault!

Bill: Yes it is, ma’am.

Boss: This is the DJ 3000. It plays CDs automatically, and it has three distinct varieties of inane chatter.

[presses a button]

DJ 3000: Hey, hey. How about that weather out there?

Woah! That was the caller from hell.

Well, hot dog! We have a weiner.

Bill: Man, that thing’s great!

Marty: Don’t praise the machine!

Boss: If you don’t get that kid an elephant by tomorrow, the DJ 3000 gets your job.

[Marty punches it]

DJ 3000: Those clowns in congress did it again. What a bunch of clowns.

Bill: [laughs] How does it keep up with the news like that?

15. Candy Apple Island — what’s there!??!

Karl: Hey, I heard we’re goin’ to Ape Island.

Lenny: Yeah, to capture a giant ape.

Karl: I wished we were going to Candy Apple Island.

Charlie: Candy Apple Island? What do they got there?

Karl: Apes. But they’re not so big.

16. Crab juice does sound better

Homer: Now what do you have to wash that awful taste out of my mouth?

Vendor: Mountain Dew or crab juice.

Homer: Blecch! Ew! Sheesh! I’ll take a crab juice.

17. I was personally spanked by both George Sr. and George Jr.

Homer: He spanked you? You? Bart Simpson?

Bart: I begged him to stop, but he said it was for the good of the nation.

Abe: Big deal! When I was a pup, we got spanked by Presidents till the cows came home. Grover Cleveland spanked me on two nonconsecutive occasions.

Marge: Grampa, I know in your day, spanking was common, but Homer and I just don’t believe in that kind of punishment.

Abe: And that’s why your no-good kids are running wild!

[points at Lisa, who is reading quietly]

18. Take the Zeppelin to Prussia, and say hi to the Bismarck for me:

Burns: Yes, I’d like to send this letter to the Prussian consulate in Siam by aeromail. Am I too late for the 4:30 autogyro?

Post Office Employee: Uh, I better look in the manual. This book must be out of date: I don’t see “Prussia”, “Siam”, or “autogyro”.

Burns: Well, keep looking!

I tried to find the actual video
 but I failed

19. Like Urkel!

Homer: The alien has a sweet, heavenly voice
 like Urkel! And he appears every Friday night
 like Urkel!

20. You’ve never had your pants grabbed off by friendly beavers?

Carl: Oh no! He’s going over the falls!

Lenny: Oh good. He snagged that tree branch.

Carl: Oh no! The branch broke off!

Lenny: Oh good. He can grab onto them pointy rocks.

Carl: Oh no! Them rocks broke his arms and legs.

Lenny: Oh good. Those helpful beavers are swimming out to save him.

Carl: Oh no! They’re biting him, and stealing his pants.

21. McBain Explains Woody Allen:

McBain: Now, my Woody Allen impression: I’m a neurotic nerd who likes to sleep with little girls.

22. What is there to do without cable TV?

Announcer: Your cable TV is experiencing difficulties. Please, do not panic. Resist the temptation to read or talk to loved ones. Do not attempt sexual relations, as years of TV radiation have left your genitals withered and useless.

Wiggum: [checking under the covers] Well I’ll be damned.

23. Paddlings.

Jasper: Talking out of turn
that’s a paddling. Looking out the window
that’s a paddling. Staring at my sandals
that’s a paddling. Paddling the school canoe
ooh, you better believe that’s a paddling.

portrait of an ass grabber24. The man in the White House doesn’t care about sexual harassment:

“Ashley”: No, Mr. Simpson! A cat is a living creature.

“Homer”: I don’t care. [runs it over]

“Homer”: Now I’m going to grab me some sweet.

“Ashley”: No, Mr. Simpson, that’s sexual harassment. If you keep it up, I’ll yell so loud the whole country will hear!

“Homer”: With the man in the White house? [laughs] Not likely!

25. Sweet sweet Mooooon money

Royce: That’s the miracle of the franchise. You get all the equipment and know-how you need, plus a familiar brand-name people trust. You’ll be on a rocket-ride to the moon! And while you’re there, would you pick up some of that nice, green moon money for me — Royce McCutcheon!

Homer: No deal, McCutcheon, that moon money is mine!

Bonus Clips: Homer socks Lenny

The Blurst Of Times

The Best Of Homer

6 Ways To Protect Yourself from Credit Card Fraud

Written by Stan Reybern

The biggest drawback of using a credit card is the risk of credit card fraud. Unlike debt (which is incurred consciously) credit card fraud can strike at any time, and frequently with no warning to the card holder until it’s too late. And the consequences range from the merely annoying, such as having to call and cancel your stolen card, to the downright catastrophic, such as identity theft. With so much at stake, it pays to know what the most prevalent types of credit card fraud are, how victims are tricked, and how you can protect yourself. Billshrink explains the six most serious threats – and offers six protection tips – below.

Physically Stolen Cards

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The oldest form of credit card fraud is the brazen theft of physical cards by criminals. Consumers are susceptible to theft in any location where they are joined by strangers – the bank, the supermarket, even a busy city street. Professional pickpockets have trained themselves to detect signs of distraction and move in for the kill when it appears that you are not paying attention. Having your credit cards stolen by such people exposes you to all manner of fraud. If detected early, you can stop the damage by calling your card issuer and canceling the card. However, if the theft goes undetected, there are few limits to what the thief can do: making extravagant purchases, applying for new credit cards, and in some extreme cases, taking out hefty loans in your name.

“Card Not Present” Orders

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Orders placed via Internet and mail are a frequent target of credit card fraud because the actual, physical card is not required or visible for the order. Such transactions allow thieves to use stolen cards without exposing themselves to the risks of in-store shopping (such as being caught on security cameras or apprehended by police.) Unfortunately, card not present fraud penalizes two parties: the original consumer who had their card stolen, and the merchant who unknowingly processed fraudulent orders and will, in all likelihood, have them charged back when the original consumer protests. Card not present orders are also less likely to be investigated, since there are, again, usually no immediate red flags that distinguish stolen card orders from legitimate ones.

Application Fraud

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Application fraud is one specific version of what is broadly referred to as “identity theft.” As the name implies, it essentially involves a criminal using someone else’s name and credentials to fill out a credit card application without their permission. Often times, the thief sets the stage for application fraud by stealing supporting documents from the victim, such as utility bills or bank statements, which are then used to substantiate the thief’s fraudulent credit card application. If and when they are approved for a card in the victim’s name, thieves face few restraints in the damage they are capable of inflicting. FICO scores and payment histories can be ruined in a heartbeat by determined thieves in possession of a fraudulently granted credit card.

Account Takeover

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Another more brazen type of credit card identity theft involves what is known as “account takeover.” Under this method, the criminal gathers pertinent documents and information about a victim in order to call their credit card company requesting a change of address (one controlled by the criminal.) Following the address change, the criminal proceeds to impersonate the victim by submitting “proof” of identity to the credit card company and requesting that a replacement card be sent to the new address. Although some card issuers attempt to thwart account takeover by requiring card holders to submit photocopies of the card in question and its monthly statements, not all of them do, and this remains an extremely problematic form of credit card fraud.

Phishing

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A more modern form of credit card and bank fraud is the so-called “phishing” attack. Rather than rooting through your trash or swiping your wallet at a busy intersection, sophisticated Internet hackers simply lead victims into an authoritative-looking website (usually one claiming to be their bank or credit card company.) Once the victims land on these websites, they are asked to fork over their credit card or bank details as part of a “routine security check.” At no point is it clear that such websites are stealing your information. Indeed, great care is taken to mimic the look and feel of real bank websites down to the most intricate details (including logos, URLs and slogans), such that the entire process of keying in your information feels natural and safe. Only once you have clicked “Submit” will your credit card information fall into the hands of ruthless identity thieves.

Skimming

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Skimming is perhaps the form of credit card fraud most difficult to prevent. While the methods above all involve outside criminals, skimming is when a dishonest employee interferes in legitimate transaction that victims did make. An example would be if you walked into an electronics store and bought an iPod on credit, only to have an unscrupulous clerk record your card data and take a spending spree on your tab. Sadly, this is not only difficult to prevent. It is also difficult to detect, after it has occurred. Generally speaking, the last person a defrauded consumer suspects is the friendly store clerk who checked them out. Therefore, it is only once a particular merchant has been involved with a substantial number of credit card fraud incidents that they are even suspected of skimming, much less investigated or prosecuted for any wrongdoing. A merchant who skimmed only once in a while might, in all actuality, never be suspected of anything for as long as they remained in business.

How to Protect Yourself

Don’t Habitually Leave Home With Your Card

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One surefire way to reduce your exposure to most forms of credit card fraud is to not always leave home with one. For one thing, a criminal can’t swipe what you don’t have on you. But it also reduces the number of physical card transactions you make, which, in turn, limits your chances of being scammed in proportion. If you don’t want to leave home without plastic of some kind, get a credit card with a low limit and bring that. This way, provided the criminal doesn’t have any additional documentation about you, the worst they can do is spend what that card allows, which is purposefully not enough to devastate your finances.

Use Virtual Credit Cards

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Leaving your card at home is all well and good to prevent in-person fraud, but what about shopping online? Surely, you can’t be expected to sacrifice the convenience of buying online just to keep prying eyes out of your finances. Luckily, nothing of the sort is needed. By using virtual credit cards (which have a different number than your regular credit card and expire after one use) you can remove the one thing from the equation that attracts criminals: a viable card to steal. Thieves who intercept virtual credit card numbers will soon find that they no longer work, which will send them on their way toward the next victim-in-waiting. Best of all, most banks and credit card companies (including PayPal) now offer virtual cards for little or no cost.

Shred Your Mail

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A key element in several types of credit card fraud, as you now know, are the supporting documents (like bank statements or utility bills) that enable a complete stranger to pose as you to your credit card company. The surest way to prevent criminals from getting their hands on such documents is to shred them before they leave your home. Do not, as many foolishly do, simply toss those papers in the trash and figure that no one will “really” stoop so low as to empty your garbage cans to find them. Professional identity thieves can and will do just that, because they know from experience that it pays off in spades. Don’t take that chance. Instead, invest $40 in a small paper shredder and make it a rule of the household that nothing hits the trash can without being shredded first.

Do Not Submit Credit Card Numbers to Bank Emails

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As a general rule, most banks and credit card companies will never request your account numbers via e-mail. Such requests (in the unlikely event they occur at all) will occur over the phone or, more likely, in person. No matter how official, credible, or authoritative an e-mail or website appears to be, if it is asking for sensitive information – especially in connection with a “routine security check” – you can safely assume that you are being scammed and back away. In fact, most banks (on their real websites) explicitly state that they will never approach you for this information in any such manner.

Shop Only at Trusted Merchants

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It should go without saying that your odds of being skimmed increase by shopping at smaller, “no-name” merchants. To continue our analogy from earlier: it’s not very likely (though it’s certainly possible) that the local BestBuy is going to skim your card number from a genuine, in-store transaction. Big-name corporate chains tend to have elaborate security procedures that are difficult for rank-and-file store employees to circumvent, even if they wanted to. However, countless fly-by-night shops exist who will happily skim you, both online and in stores. Of course, not every small shop is out to steal your credit card number. It simply pays to be mindful of the possibility and the greater odds of it occurring in smaller rather than larger stores.

Review Your Billing Statements Periodically

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The sad truth about most forms of credit card fraud is that you, the card holder, are often in the dark until the thief does something so egregious that you are notified. Fortunately, there is one way to detect early warning signs of fraud: periodically reviewing your billing statements. While most people instinctively toss their statements in the trash (because, after all, they know what they charged), this is in fact the only way to detect whether fraudulent charges have been made. A simple, five minute review of your statement will make crystal clear whether the card has been used improperly, and it can mean the difference between canceling your card while there’s time to limit the damage or being completely unaware until disaster befalls you.


Bonus:Anyone else feel this way about movies lately?

The 8 dumbest business decisions ever

Written by Minyanville

These dead-wrong determinations seemed like reasonable choices to somebody at some point. But time has exposed them as mammoth mistakes.

Mistakes they’d like to take back

Dumb business decisions / Clockwise from top left: Ross Perot; Bill  Gates; Steve Case (wearing tie), AOL co-founder, with Gerald Levin,  then CEO of Time Warner; The Beatles © Alex Wong/Newsmakers/Getty  Images; Mustafa Quraishi/AP; Kathy Willens/AP; AP

“Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes,” Oscar Wilde wrote. And so it can be said that business history has endured some tremendously embarrassing and shortsighted experiences.

At one point, a Texas tycoon looking to buy a software company decided that a young Bill Gates was asking too much for his startup, Microsoft (MSFT).

In London, an experienced music executive felt that four young men from Liverpool, England, weren’t worth his record label’s financial backing.

Ten years ago, the chiefs of two major media companies thought their fortunes would be richer if they merged their operations. They could not have orchestrated a bigger flop if they had tried.

Click through the gallery to read about these corporate missteps and other business decisions that proved to be stunningly ill-considered.

1. Buy Google for $750,000? No, thanks

Dumb business decisions / Google © Rene Tillmann/AP

Remember Excite? Formed in 1994 as Architext and relaunched as Excite the next year, it was meant to be the search engine to end all search engines. With funding from some of Silicon Valley’s top investors, the company went on to enjoy a highflying initial public offering after hiring a new CEO, George Bell, in 1996.

Back then, there was nothing that dot-com stock couldn’t buy, and Excite, a company worth $35 billion, went on an acquisition spree with its riches. In addition to many smaller deals, it paid $425 million for iMall and a whopping $780 million for online greeting-card company Blue Mountain Arts.

But when two young Stanford University students came knocking, looking for someone to buy their nascent search engine so they could return to their studies, Bell would have none of it. In 1999, Google (GOOG) founders Larry Page and Sergey Brin offered Excite their business for $1 million. Bell deemed it too high, and a second offer of $750,000 was also roundly rejected.

Google is a $180 billion company today.

And Excite?

In the fall of 2000, Bell resigned as the company’s CEO. By the time the third quarter of 2001 rolled around, Excite’s stock price had fallen to $1 a share.

2. Perot blows chance to own Microsoft

Dumb business decisions / Ross Perot, left, and Bill Gates © Alex  Wong/Newsmakers/Getty Images; Mustafa Quraishi/AP

A 5-and-a-half-foot Texas business tycoon prone to folksy proverbs, Ross Perot, above left, is known for his quirky charisma. But long before he inspired comedic impersonators during his 1992 White House run, Perot made what he calls one of his biggest business mistakes ever.

The founder of Electronic Data Systems — now a division of Hewlett-Packard (HPQ) — Perot made a name for himself in the 1960s as a tech titan. By the next decade, he had his eyes on one company for a deal: Microsoft (MSFT). A deal would have provided Perot with the software he wanted for his clients — and given the 30-employee startup a huge entry into the corporate world. (Microsoft is the publisher of MSN Money.)

Perot invited a gawky kid named Bill Gates, above right, into his office to discuss a deal in 1979. Negotiations broke down, and the two men remember the story differently. Perot recalls Gates’ asking price as somewhere between $40 million and $60 million, which Perot found too high. When asked about the events, however, Gates says he put Microsoft on the block for $6 million to $15 million. In any case, neither party attempted to counter, and no agreement was reached.

3. Decca rejects The Beatles

Dumb business decisions / From left: Paul McCartney, Ringo Starr,  John Lennon and George Harrison © AP

The Beatles have “no future in show business.”

Such was the verdict of a Decca Studios manager, who in 1962 rejected the young band after a studio audition in London.

Decca’s executives made the same mistake with other future music stars, including The Yardbirds and Manfred Mann, who went on to sign with other labels. But no single rejection in musical history compares with Decca’s colossal miscalculation on The Beatles.

Decca’s misstep became a terrific gain for rival label EMI, where producer George Martin knew to sign The Beatles as soon as he heard the hourlong tryout tapes. The rest is a rich and storied history.

In 1964, The Wall Street Journal estimated that The Beatles would sell $50 million in records in the U.S. alone. By 1971, by which time The Beatles had broken up, the former band mates had acquired a fortune of more than $22 million, a staggering sum then but only a tiny fraction of what they would ultimately be worth.

4. Apple lets Steve Jobs go

Dumb business decisions / Steve Jobs © Paul Sakuma/AP

In 1983, Apple (AAPL) co-founder Steve Jobs needed a “grown-up” CEO to take the company to the next level. The man he picked for the job was PepsiCo (PEP) President John Sculley.

Jobs won over Sculley with a simple question: “Do you want to spend the rest of your life selling sugared water to children, or do you want a chance to change the world?”

Alas, Jobs found himself with a dark cloud devoid of a silver lining. He almost immediately began butting heads with Sculley, who took it upon himself to sabotage Jobs at every turn. He removed Jobs from the development of the Lisa computer and started a campaign to oust Jobs from the very company he started. In the meantime, Jobs launched a counterattack on Sculley, doing his damndest to get him fired.

The discord had a negative effect on Apple, and in 1984, after the somewhat unsuccessful launch of the Macintosh, the company posted its first-ever quarterly loss and let 20% of its staff go.

Later, Sculley gave Apple’s board an ultimatum: They could have him or Jobs, but not both. The board chose Sculley, and Jobs went on his way in 1985.

Eventually, Jobs returned to Apple, and the company returned to profitability. Today, Jobs has given the world the iPhone, the iPod, iTunes — the list could go on.

5. Time Warner merges with AOL

Dumb business decisions / AOL co-founder Steve Case, left, Time  Warner CEO Gerald Levin shake hands after announcing a merger in 2000 ©  Kathy Willens/AP

When MBA students study the lessons of the worst business decisions in corporate history, they often begin with one notorious case study: the AOL-Time Warner merger.

The deal, valued at $350 billion in 2000, was, and still is, the biggest corporate merger and the biggest failure. In December, the two companies finally managed to unwind the agreement.

There are myriad, much-discussed reasons the merger did not work. For one, the timing was off. The two companies came together just before the bursting of the tech bubble, when billions of dollars began evaporating from the markets. There was also the problem of size and the clashing of company cultures. Like many would-be happy marriages, AOL (AOL) and Time Warner (TWX) saw their relationship devolve into what one business columnist called “a turf war” infused with “cutthroat politics.”

To mark the 10th anniversary of the financial disaster, the architects of the original deal — including Steve Case, above left, AOL’s co-founder, and Gerald Levin, right, then Time Warner’s CEO — have surfaced to answer a big question: What were they thinking?

6. Dubai builds the world’s tallest building

Dumb business decisions / Burj Khalifa, the world's tallest  building, towers over the Dubai skyline © Kamran Jebreili/AP

In November, investors around the world watched as Dubai fell into a debt crisis that threatened to send markets tumbling. Struggling under $80 billion in debt, the city-state had to go hat in hand to its oil-rich cousins in Abu Dhabi and request a $10 billion bailout. Some say the rescue saved the global economy from a second economic dip.

So, what better time to unveil Dubai’s latest trophy: the tallest building in the world.

Unfortunately, many months before the crisis hit, the decision had been made to celebrate Dubai’s then-booming property market with “The Burj,” a 160-story building designed by Skidmore, Owings & Merrill architects. At 2,717 feet tall, the building is taller than New York’s Chrysler and Empire State buildings stacked together. Too narrow to house corporate offices on many of its upper floors, the tower was designed primarily for residential use.

Of course, the building opened just after the property bubble burst. In 2009, real-estate prices fell 50%. They’re expected to fall an additional 30% this year.

7. passes on ‘The Cosby Show’

Dumb business decisions / Bill Cosby, center, and other cast  members of "The Cosby Show" © AP

After years working stages as a stand-up comedian, Bill Cosby’s sense of timing and delivery was inimitable, and it gave “The Cosby Show” a sophisticated sensibility. The TV show debuted in 1984 and, almost immediately, pulled in nearly 30 million viewers an episode. In the world of comedy television, it was a game changer, reviving the sitcom genre and giving NBC a huge boost.

It’s hard to believe that it almost never happened.

When Cosby, at center in the photo above, and his production company first proposed the show, they called on ABC executives to sell their concept. They were turned down.

Third-place network NBC gave Cosby a warmer reception. Having little to lose, the network signed the show, never expecting it would shoot up the ratings charts and hold the No. 1 spot in the Nielsen ratings for five straight seasons.

8. Drake neglects to patent oil drill

Dumb business decisions / Edwin Drake © AP

Tycoons and investors have made trillions of dollars from selling oil. Wars have been waged over its procurement and safekeeping. And nations have seen their histories changed and their standards of living skyrocket after a major find.

But the man who first learned how to get the black gold out of the ground died poor and nearly forgotten. So did the investor who first put up the cash to back his invention: the oil drill.

In 1858, Edwin Drake, a one-time train conductor, was hired by Seneca Oil — in truth, then just a group of investors — and asked to explore ways to extract oil from the Earth’s depths. The company sent Drake to Titusville, Pa., where the first reaction to his mission was typically one of extreme skepticism.

By 1859, Seneca Oil pulled the plug on the project. It had already financed the project with $2,000, and it refused to invest more without more promising evidence the drilling would eventually work.

Drake first approached salt drill operators, suggesting they could use similar technology to capture oil in the area. The nickname “Crazy Drake” was officially born.

But even after Drake’s method of hand-pumping oil from the ground finally proved workable, the inventor apparently did not recognize the potential value in patenting it. Other entrepreneurs quickly moved in and copied Drake’s method.

What do you think?

Let us know what you think. Add your comments below!

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bonus:Brilliant Nikon camera ad! (nsfw)

10 Reasons Why You Should Not Date a Girl Gamer

Written by Garrett Grothe

There was recently an article written about why it’s a good thing to date or marry a girl who plays video games, being the chauvinistic pig that I am I thought it only fair to write an article listing the top 10 reasons it would be a negative thing to date a girl gamer (this is a parody). These choices are purely for entertainment purposes and have no bearing on the actual way I (or the staff at PlanetXbox360.com) feel about women in general (our editor-in-chief is married for example). For one thing it’s really unique when a girl is actually passionate about video games, so I won’t take any credit away from those females; however dating/marrying one is a different story completely. This is also a semi-response to an article posted by some fellow gaming journalists of mine, that just happen to be females, over at GamingAngels.com – Ten Reasons Why you Should Date a Girl Gamer. Below are the top 10 reasons why just such a decision could end up being a nightmare and/or the biggest mistake you have ever made:

10. Sharing is Caring (and Annoying):

Guys, dating a gamer girl means that waiting your turn to play something is going to happen and since you are so kind and compassionate, your wait could last a few hours if your girl really gets into something that she is playing. Sure, sharing is part of life and its childish not to share but when it means you have to wait to finish the last 20 minutes of Mass Effect 2 or miss out Call of Duty night with the guys because it was her turn, it’s tough to find this an appealing situation. I’ve even met a few gamer girls who like the idea of sharing a gamertag with their significant other, this friends, is a terrible idea especially when you are proud of your 2.0 kill/death ratio.

9. Split-Screen Life:

Does anyone really enjoy split-screen anymore? No offense to those who do, but having your first playthrough of an awesome new game cut through the middle is not really an enjoyable experience. In a relationship with both of you being gamers, there will inevitably be a game that releases that your girl really wants to play through and oh, what luck, the game has a split-screen co-op option for the campaign. I can’t even begin to express my feelings about playing multiplayer over live, with the screen split in half. Good luck with that scenario.

8. You’ll Have Plenty of Alone Time in Your Mancave (NOT):

Whenever I have been in a relationship, video games were always my getaway or chance to escape to the mancave, which is always healthy for a relationship especially when you live together. But when you’re dating a gamer girl, she wants to play through games with you and most often enjoys watching you play games. So you can’t really call your gaming room a mancave if your girl is spending plenty of time in there with you, it loses its “sacred” status. So you’ll have boatloads of fun as you try to find a hobby outside of gaming that lets you have some alone time, because she’ll most likely want to be in the room when you finish the new Call of Duty.

7. You’ll Spend Plenty of Rupees:

I swear dating a gamer girl is more expensive than dating a girl who doesn’t play video games. Most seem to want the same stuff other girls like such as, expensive clothes, MAC makeup, Coach purses and now the cost of a $60 game is added from time to time. All of a sudden, you’ll find yourself buying games you want and games that would have never played that your girlfriend wants to play, and we all know how expensive of a habit gaming can be, it’s a whole lot worse when you times it by 2.

6. Enjoy Your Backseat Gamer:

When a gamer girl isn’t playing a game with you, she is probably watching you play and odds are she wants to “help.” Now, we have all done our fair share of backseat gaming, but you are going to be with this woman a lot and she will most likely point out stuff as you play a game. This can be helpful, but it’s not usually fun when all you games are played with someone over your shoulder.

5. Trading in/Selling Games is a Negotiation:

Trading in games from time to time can definitely help take the load off a purchase of a new game, but when you are sharing a library of titles it becomes a 2-man/woman job to decide what can be traded in and what can’t. “I haven’t finished that one yet” or “I love that game, we have to keep it” becomes common conversation lines when trying to offload some titles you don’t play anymore. This often ends in not having anything to trade in and you must pay for everything out of pocket.

4. Are You Sure You Want to Restore Hard Drive?:

Bad breakups with a gamer girl will not end well, especially when they know their way around all of your consoles menus. We have definitely heard of girls cleaning everything off a guy’s hard drive in an act of revenge. Sure, non gamer girls might commit acts such as smashing a console, but at least the hard drive usually stays intact without losing all your hard work.

3. Gamer Weddings are Tacky:

Don’t get me wrong, originally video game weddings were extremely uncommon and very unique, but good luck not hearing about them constantly nowadays. Girls love weddings and some, not all gamer girls love gamer weddings but they are just so over done now that they have lost their original appeal.

2. Game Arguments, You Will Have Them:

I’m not sure that there is a more terrible argument in the world, than an argument over how good/bad a game is, what game to play together, or even whose turn it is to play. They are obnoxious arguments that probably would never happen if dating a girl who didn’t play games. It’s good to take video games seriously from time to time, but it’s kind of silly if they can cause a rift in your relationship. Nobody wants to say that they broke up over a disagreement about a video game; that would be laughable.

1. A Self-Proclaimed Girl Gamer is Probably a Controller Hog:

Oh man, this argument is always a popular staple in the industry, so we won’t go too deep into it, but the girls who play video games and don’t flaunt it are usually the most respectable. Unfortunately, the girls who run around in video game shirts trying to strike up a conversation about how awesome they are at video games tend to be the ones to stay far away from. These attributes are usually huge cries for attention that is never enjoyable in a relationship, especially when they continue to act this way after they are dating a guy. Guys, dating one of these girls is a nightmare, don’t waste your attention on them because they are most likely getting it from plenty others.

Bonus: Courage is stronger than weapons

1,000 Things You Don’t Know About Women

Written by esquire

We asked the women in our lives to share their secrets about sex, relationships, and what we’ve been doing wrong (and right) all these years. Check out the first 100 responses below, a bunch more in Esquire’s all-new issue devoted to women, and yet more advice right here every week.

woman wearing freen

No. 306: Don’t pretend we don’t tell you when something’s wrong. Come on now. Increased chocolate intake. Foot tapping. Crossed arms. Tears during a Hallmark commercial. We’ve said all we need to. Tell us we look even skinnier than usual. And then get us a glass of Sancerre. —Kirsten Hall, 35, New York

No. 79: We love to hear we are beautiful. Breaking it down into specifics is even better. —Christine Siltanen, 28, Portland, Oregon

No. 10: Anything but roses. Think about it. We’ve mentioned our favorite flower more than once. If you can’t remember, go with a lily. —Rhiannon Falzone, 25, Chicago

No. 512: We’re not always aware of our breasts. If we happen to brush up against you, we’re not necessarily coming on to you. Sometimes we are. But it’s not a given. —Nicole French, 37, Denver, Colorado

No. 87: Women can tell if you’re wearing clothes that were given to you by your mother. They all have that “I used to wear essentially the same shirt when I was eight” look. This isn’t awful if done occasionally, but when that’s your daily head-to-toe, it sends a questionable message. —Kimberly Ryan, 25, Tucson

No. 492: We don’t expect you to read our minds. We expect you to ask. —Kelly Viets, 20, Newport News, Virginia

No. 19: We remember if you told us you would call us tomorrow, so if you don’t mean tomorrow, say “soon.” No woman will ever hold it against you if you call when you say you will, and we always notice when you don’t. —Roxanna Elden, 30, Miami

No. 284: We want you to have your “guy time.” In fact, if you don’t have a great group of men to hang around, it’s a turn-off. —Whitney Webb, 22, Blacksburg, Virginia

No. 67: Women in their mid-thirties have to do everything for ourselves — drive our careers, pay the mortgage, fix broken appliances, assemble furniture. The only place we don’t have to do it ourselves is in the bedroom. For that one small slice of the day, we’ll actually give up control and let someone else own us. So, own us. —Suzanne Casamento, 28, Los Angeles

No. 413: Asking “are you ticklish” as an excuse to touch a woman for the first time is not appropriate past the age of 17. —Claire Serxner, 25, Houston

No. 706: Why do you spell “you” as “u” in a text? Spell it out. Is it really that hard? —Becky Ellis, 32, New York

No. 511: It freaks us out when you put a t-shirt on after sex but walk around without boxers. It’s not becoming. —Molly Rosen, 31, Writer, Chicago

No. 99: If you tell us you love us during sex, it will only confuse us. We won’t know whether the sentiment is genuine or blurted out in the heat of passion. If you mean it and want to tell us, wait until we’re fully clothed and you’re fully sober. —Devon Brooke Clasen, 31, Las Vegas

No. 184: You have our interest if you pick us up in a convertible. You have our hearts if there is a hair tie and/or brush in the car. —Beth Hurtubise, 26, Chicago

No. 73: Thongs are uncomfortable. —Ingrid Castillo, 22, Miami

No. 661: Never pinch the muffin-top. This is grounds for execution. —Catlin Moore, 24, Long Beach, California

No. 930: We only have two to three bras that we alternate. We tell you we just have a bunch of the same one. Lies! —Jane Marie Solomon, 23, Austin, Texas

No. 723: Sometimes we wear our bathing suits when we run out of underwear. —Brenna Ehrlich, 25, Brooklyn

woman in rain

No. 25: When we ask you to be honest, and your honest response is something you know we will be upset about, fib just a little. But only because you love us. —Kelly Heintz, 23, Fresno, California

No. 550: As much as we want to say that looks don’t matter, they are a big part of first impressions. Physical attraction gets the door open, but pretty much from there, it really is your personality that will carry you. —Lauren Hesser, 25, St. Louis

No. 74: It goes movie, then dinner. That way we don’t have to rush. We have time for dessert. —Tawnia Mayhugh, 34, Yakima, Washington

No. 800: We know it’s called the pinch and roll. —Laura Moss, 22, San Diego, California

No. 37: More back massages. —Shannon Little, 23, Memphis

No. 129: When we walk into a room we notice which women you’d sleep with before you do. —Rachael Candee, 24, Iowa City, Iowa

No. 76: I only like football because of the pants. —Sondra Gavaldon, 28, Brooklyn

No. 864: Men always wonder what women want. We won’t admit it, but we wonder the same exact thing. —Mei Christensen, 21, Charlottesville, Virginia

No. 418: It’s okay to tear up at the end of the World Series. It’s not okay during American Idol. —Lorelei Donaldson, 23, Columbia, Missouri

No. 101: Pizza and beer only counts as “date night” once every two months. —Taylor Rausch, 23, Columbia, Missouri

No. 54: It’s okay if you want to watch Steel Magnolias with us. But if you cry harder than we do when Shelby dies, you are going to have to start answering some questions. —Kelsey Allen, 21, Columbia, Missouri

No. 476: If you have more shoes than we do, that’s a deal breaker. And yes, sneakers count. —Nina Fortuna, 25, New York

No. 68: We nag because we care. —Luce Melendez, 22, New York

No. 302: Don’t try to feed me. I’m not an infant and it’s not romantic. —Katie Dinardo, 23, Brooklyn

No. 554: Women don’t get mad at you because they have PMS. They get mad at you because you’re being an idiot. —Hannah Rosengren,19, Beverly, Massachusetts

No. 13: Buying lingerie for your girlfriend is like buying a present for yourself. If she’s showing you her undies, chances are you’ll be removing them. Assess your priorities, sir. —Stephanie Hoos, 23, New York

No. 293: There’s nothing more unappealing than a man being indecisive. Unless he’s being indecisive between bouts of crying. —Katy Steinmetz, 25, Washington, D.C.

No. 111: When you offer to pay for something and we refuse, insist one more time. Always insist. —Cristina Luiggi, 24, New York

No. 767: We are afraid of spiders and bees, yet hot wax ripped from very sensitive areas we seem to be okay with. —Taylor McGraw, 20, Oxford, Mississippi

woman waiting

No. 66: Things we don’t appreciate: hematomas in the form of hickeys. —Katie Sanders, 20, Newton, Massachusetts

No. 14: Chivalry, within reason. Holding the door for us? Yes. Ordering for us? No. Unless your date can’t read. —Jessica Goldstein, 21, Philadelphia

No. 81: Romance is relative. I will always hold a deep affection for the man who built a shower in my studio apartment as a surprise. Think outside of the box and become immortal. —Suzanne Fortin, 31, Missoula, Montana

No. 912: We are manipulative beasts. Call us on it from time to time, just not all the time. —Lisa Huber, 38, Teutopolis, Illinois

No. 9: Cook for us and you’ll get laid at the end of the evening. Clean up the mess you made cooking and you’ll get better sex than when you turned off the television in the middle of an “important” game. —Judith Brodnicki, 50, Omaha

No. 444: No man ever talked a woman into sex. Ninety-nine percent of the time, a woman knows she is going to have sex when she walks out the door. Men can only talk themselves out of it. —Pat Lieske, 46, Los Angeles

No. 316: At the end of a first date, just call us the next day if you liked us. You can wait three days if you want, but it will only piss us off. —Wynne Kontos, 21, Lafayette, Indiana

No. 107: When we point out something sweet we saw another guy do, we want you to do it for us, too. Obviously. —Ashley Graf, 20, Utica, New York

No. 222: Don’t tell us you’re on a low-carb diet when you take us out to dinner. That’s why we’re not out with our girlfriends. —Leila Gheit, 28, Jackson Heights, New York

No. 716: No need to pretend it’s more comfortable to sleep spooning. We just want to sleep like we always do, and we’ll see you in the morning. —Ileana Morales, 21, Gainesville, Florida

No. 300: A plunger for our place will never be a good gift. —Carrie Dienhart, 34, Kansas City, Missouri

No. 75: Most women’s version of the perfect man is some combination of James Bond, Prince Charming, and George Clooney. This, luckily for you, is a man who would terrify us in real life. —Erica Anderson, 30, Chicago

No. 60: Never use fabric softener when you launder towels. It ruins their absorbency. When we’re visiting, we want thick, fluffy, absorbent towels. And we want them to be some version of white. Just a tip. —Stephanie Shaughnessy, 41, Pittsburgh

No. 733: We have several tools at our disposal to keep us from having sex with you before we are ready — wearing granny panties and not shaving are two of the strongest weapons in our arsenal. If the first time you have sex with us we are unkempt and wearing huge briefs, you must have crazy animal magnetism, or we are very drunk. —Heather Ericson, 32, Barre, Massachusetts

No. 51: Joking about your penis size makes us feel uncomfortable every time. Every. Time. —Krista Iovino, 32, New York

No. 56: We love having our layers taken off one at a time and eagerly anticipate you noticing the new lingerie we’ve been enduring all night. —Staci Brinkman, 27, Dallas

No. 208: S-l-o-o-o-w d-o-o-o-w-n-n-n. —Melinda Meggyesy, 31, Seattle

No. 643: Never hang up first. —Renee Taylor, 22, St. Catharines, Ontario, Canada

No. 382: Old Spice High Endurance Pure Sport. —Sarah June Renschler, 30, New York City

No. 21: Men drink coffee, not skinny double-pump soy macchiatos. Ordering the latter doesn’t impress us; it makes us wonder if you’d rather be double-pumping your buddy Todd. —Kt McBratney, 27, Omaha

No. 310: If we freak out over baby shoes, it doesn’t necessarily mean we want a baby. There’s just something about baby shoes. Women. Love. Baby shoes. —Stephanie Weir, 29, St. Louis

two female friends

No. 85: Women hate when men talk badly about their friends. No matter how bad a friend they are, be supportive. Listen to the drama without being too opinionated. That what we do. —Danielle Scotti, 23, Pittsburgh

No. 622: When we say we don’t want flowers, we really want you to secretly ask our friends or search our Web history to find out what our favorite kind of flower is without us knowing so we’re “surprised” when you hit the nail on the head. —Meredith Blake Matthews, 26, Pittsburgh

No. 403: You should be able to do anything Bob Vila can. Or that HGTV makes happen in a 30-minute episode. —Jennifer Davidick, 30, Hazleton, Pennsylvania

No. 210: Even feminists want kitchens with stainless steel appliances. —Rachel Baron, 26, Chicago

No. 517: When we ask you how we look, we are really saying, “I am needy, please validate me. Please tell me I’m pretty. Please tell me you don’t regret loving me.” —Michele Pepio, 35, Staten Island, New York

No. 209: When you agree to take yoga with us, it’s endearing. But endearing never got anybody laid. —Ainsley Drew Nelson, 28, New York

No. 235: If I see you treat waitstaff or cashiers poorly, I will probably never touch your penis. —Rachel Giuliani, 27, Brooklyn

No. 929: You should be more concerned when I stop thinking your jokes are funny than with how often I want to have sex. —Elizabeth Oporto, 26, Merrick, New York

No. 867: We think at least two of your friends are hot. —Lauren Cusimano, 24, Phoenix

No. 430: I remember staying over at my parents’ house with my boyfriend while we were in town for a wedding. As we were falling asleep, he said, “I like our bed better.” I replied that it was more comfortable. His response was, “Yeah, and it’s ours.” At that moment, our relationship became real. “Ours” is a powerful word. —Sarah Godumski, 29, Pocono Summit, Pennsylvania

No. 321: When I say, “that feels good,” it doesn’t mean go faster and harder. It means to keep doing that. —Stacey Whiteley, 40, Albany, New York

No. 883: We think guys who call every day and don’t ask us out are playing hard to get. Come on, collections-department guy! —Yahaira Ulloa, 28, Elmwood Park, New Jersey

No. 38: Sometimes we bring you to dinners, parties, and events just to be able to say, “That one is mine.” Remember that. —Janice Tsai, 30, Sacramento

No. 109: Your foot rubbing against our leg when we’re sound asleep does not constitute foreplay. Nor does “Hey, you awake?” —Shannon Ingram, 58, Mission Viejo, California

No. 21: We understand the World Cup too. —Erin Dowding, 34, Brooklyn

No. 223: We know we snore sometimes. Don’t ever tell us when we do. —Eva Meszaros, 25, Brooklyn

No. 450: Yes, I saw Braveheart, and it’s one of my favorite movies too. —Allie Nordby, 20, Los Angeles

No. 999: We really don’t like your skinny jeans. —Yoakova Franklin, 20, Great Neck

No. 59: If you’re going to be a backseat driver, be absolutely freaking sure you know where you’re going. —Carolyn Morgan, 33, Irvine, California

No. 2: We don’t want to see your feet while we’re having sex. —Sarah O’Connell, 18, New York

No. 43: We want you to look nice, but please don’t spend more time getting ready than we do. —Rose-Marie Larsson, 20, Goteborg, Sweden

No. 607: We are the same human being with makeup and without it. —Alix Stoll, 52, Levittown, New York

No. 684: Using a GPS is not a sign of weakness. —Marianne Towersey, 59, Pebble Beach, California

No. 326: Hats don’t conceal the fact that you’re balding. They only delay the point at which we come to terms with it. —Lindsay Coluccio, 33, Newport Beach, California

No. 445: We are judging your outfit, whether silently or not, from head to toe, right this very moment. —Jodie Love, 25, Brooklyn

woman eating watermelon

No. 477: Men don’t know how much we really eat. Really. —Natalia Angel, 22, London

No. 660: Don’t ask me why my Stella is in a wine glass. It’s not. Get your beers straight. —Leigh Metherell, 22, Brooklyn

No. 908: Despite what we say, you holding a baby with complete confidence is an absolute aphrodisiac. Put the baby down and come touch me. —Jennifer Trinh, 24, Irvine, California

No. 220: We may say we enjoy watching Top Gear or the Lakers, but really more than anything we enjoy seeing how teaching us about Top Gear and the Lakers boosts your confidence. —Courtney Harper, 23, Sherman Oaks, California

No. 47: Never. Wear. Neon. —Carolynn Johnson, 26, Brooklyn

No. 732: We’ll take nice forearms over six-pack abs any day. —Jennie Engelhardt, 26, New York

No. 22: Turning into our mothers is an inevitable fear we live with on a daily basis. Calling this to our attention at any point is a terrible idea. Just don’t do it. —Maura E. McGill, 29, New York

No. 18: Sometimes we just complain about our periods so you’ll leave us alone. —Kt McBratney, 27, Omaha

No. 388: If you ask for our number a second time and we don’t give it to you, there’s a good chance we can’t remember the first number we gave you. —Megan McDonnell, 30, Los Angeles

No. 314: Don’t try to figure out what will make us happy. We have been trying to get to the bottom of that mystery since the beginning of time and we have no clue either. —Michele Pepio, 35, Staten Island, New York

No. 497: We like whiskey. And beer. —Maura E. McGill, 29, New York

No. 730: We find it creepy when your fingernails are longer and/or shinier than ours. You may get a manicure, but don’t admit it, and don’t enjoy it. —Eva Meszaros, 25, Brooklyn

No. 642: Men see what women do, but they never know what women think while they are doing it. —Verena Michaeler, 18, Brixen, Italy

No. 297: We pee in the shower. There is a drain and running water. Why not? —Valerie Vaughan, 51, Denver

No. 616: If you stop with the compliments, then so might our efforts to look as hot as we did when we started dating. Why should we spend time and money that we don’t have in excess when our target audience doesn’t even notice? —Haiyen Chin, 33, Brooklyn

No. 644: If we offer you gum, it means we want to kiss you later. It’s not an insult. Just take the gum. —Rhiannon Falzone, 26, Chicago

No. 524: That low-cut top — we wouldn’t wear it if we didn’t want you to look. Just be discrete about it. —Whitney Webb, 22, Blacksburg, Virginia

All photos courtesy of iStock Photo

Bonus:Squirrel Fights off Crows – Protects Dead Friend’s Body

14 Things You Might Not Know About The Big Lebowski

Written by brettf123

Not all movies stand the test of time. Viewers have the memory span of goldfish and what’s hot today may soon be forgotten. Cult classics, on the other hand, often become immortal. The Big Lebowski (1998) is such a film. With its quotable lines, zany characters, and dialogue that somehow remains funny no matter how many times you see it, there’s a reason why it’s still being talked about after all these years. As with most cult classics, there are a few hidden quirks in the film that evade even some of its die hard devotees. Also, there are many interesting ways in which fans continue to celebrate the film. After researching both, here is our list of 14 things you might not know about The Big Lebowski.

Lebowski Fest

As with cult classics such as Troll 2 (1990) and The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975), The Big Lebowski spawned a film festival of its own. Lebowski Fest, which travels accross the country, started in Louisville in 2002 and is currently in its eighth consecutive year. Activities at the event include bowling, costume contests, and trivia. Jeff Bridges, who played “The Dude,” attended one of the events in Los Angeles. The British equivalent to the American festival is called “The Dude Abides” and is held in London.

Reference in Burn After Reading (2008)

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A reference to The Big Lebowski can be found in a later Coen Brothers’ film, Burn After Reading (2008). In the scene where Chad Feldheimer (Brad Pitt) blackmails Osbourne Cox (John Malkovich), he’s about to shout, “Where is the money, Lebowski!?” before getting punched in the face. A similar shout out can be found in The Big Lebowski. Walter (John Goodman) constantly tells Donny (Steve Buscemi) to “Shut the fuck up!” In the Coen Brothers’ previous film, Fargo (1996), Buscemi’s character wouldn’t stop talking.

Internet Success

The British newspaper, The Independent, credits Lebowski’s popularity, in part, to the influence of the Internet. If not for the web, fans might not have realized that they weren’t alone in their Lebowski worship. According to the paper, the number one comment on lebowskifest.com is, “I’m so happy to find others like me,” or comments of a similar nature.

Lebowski Drinking Game

Different variations exist for this. One of the most memorable and least complicated is to take a drink whenever The Dude does. If he takes a marijuana hit, you do likewise. Good luck making it through.

Walter Sobchak

John Goodman’s acerbic character, Walter Sobchak, was inspired by filmmaker John Milius, who has a love of guns. Screenwriter Lewis Abernathy was another source of inspiration for Walter, and even made an appearance at the Texas Lebowski Fest in Austin.

Asia Carrera Cameo

Former porn-star Asia Carrera makes a brief cameo appearance as one of Bunny’s (Tara Reid) cast mates in the adult movie, LogJammin’.

“The Dude”

Jeff Bridge’s character (The Dude) was inspired by film producer and political activist Jeff Dowd, a friend of the Coen Brothers. Dowd liked to drink White Russians and had a similar moniker. The other source of inspiration came from a Vietnam War veteran, Pete Exine, who had a rug which really “tied the room together.” Several of his personal stories were taken by the Coen Brothers wholesale. He had his car stolen by a high school student and found it impounded with an 8th grader’s homework on the floor.

Mawd

According to Julianne Moore, her character, Maude, was inspired by the likes of artist Carolee Schneemann who liked to work naked from a swing. Yoko Ono was another source of inspiration. This isn’t surprising given her peculiar nature.

Narrative Influences

The movie’s overall narrative structure was influence by the detective fiction of Raymond Chandler. As Ethan Coen said, “We wanted something that would generate a certain narrative feeling – like a modern Raymond Chandler story, and that’s why it had to be set in Los Angeles 
 We wanted to have a narrative flow, a story that moves like a Chandler book through different parts of town and different social classes.”

Books

The Big Lebowski has its share of literature devoted to the film’s production as well as critical analysis. Some examples include I’m a Lebowski, You’re a Lebowski, The Dude Abides: The Gospel According to the Coen Brothers, and The Year’s Work in Lebowski Studies.

Documentary

The Big Lebowski has spawned its own documentary titled The Achievers: The Story of the Lebowski Fans. The film tries to better understand why Lebowski has made such a splash. Former philosophy student, Eddie Chung, takes the helm and offers a deep take on the cult hit’s impact. Not bad for a film that lasted only 6 weeks in theaters.

Word Usage

According to IMDB, the f-word and its variations are used 294 times, and “dude” is said 161 times. The Dude also utters “man” 147 times, around 1.5 times per minute. Some fans have too much time on their hands.

Landmarks

Since it takes place in Los Angeles, several local landmarks are shown throughout the movie. The bowling alley in the film was formerly the Holly Star Lanes in Santa Monica and the 101 Freeway exit ramp even makes an appearance. The fast food chain featured, In ‘n Out Burger, is indigenous to Southern California. And let’s not forget The Dude’s favorite supermarket chain, Ralphs.

The Dude’s apartment, located in Venice, has become somewhat of a landmark of its own. But if you pay a visit, don’t knock on the door. It’s a private residence, man.

September 11th Prediction?

At the beginning of the film, The Dude stops at a Ralph’s supermarket to pick up some cream for his White Russians. Although the item is less than a dollar, The Dude is forced to write a check. The check is dated, September 11th, 1991, exactly ten years to the day of the World Trade Center attacks. What makes the scene even more peculiar is that while The Dude is writing the check, President Bush (41) can be seen on television discussing tensions in the Middle East while uttering the phrase, “This aggression will not stand.” Foreshadowing? Probably not. But it is an odd coincidence.

Bonus: What do you mean by 420


Source:Tahran Chowdhury