Written by funnyordie
1. Obama’s A Muslim
According to the Pew Research Center, 18% of Americans believe Obama is a Muslim. Most likely, the same people also hate Muslims. Put it together, and there’s a chance that one in five Americans hate our President because of his supposed religion.
2. Moon Landing Was A Hoax
A huge number of Americans believe that the moon landing was staged. Aside from the sheer stupidity of that, it raises a bigger question: If it was faked, how would Buzz Aldrin be bedding lady space groupie after space groupie if he hadn’t actually been on the moon? He would not. Thus, real.
3. Sun Revolves Around The Earth
I know Americans have a tendency to be a bit self-involved, but this is a bit much. According to a Gallup poll in 1999, 18% believed that the earth was the center of the universe. On a side note, 3% said “no opinion.” Those folks could not be bothered with such pedestrian quandaries.
Oh, and for those 18% who believe this, that picture is Galileo. That guy knew his shit.
4. Ghosts Are The Real Deal
One in three Americans believe in Ghosts. All Americans believe in Ghost. Both have no business existing.
5. Dinosaurs and Humans, BFFs
As of a couple years ago, nearly one-third of Texans believed that dinosaurs and humans roamed the earth at the same time. Yup. Oh, and at least one Alaskan, as well.
6. Evolution? That’s A Bit Of A Stretch
A 2004 study showed that 51% of Americans believed in Creationism. Over half of the people in this country thought humans just showed up one day and were ready for homeschooling.
7. Environmentalists Intentionally Caused The Oil Spill
So you know that oil spill that ruined the ocean, killed thousands of animals, and pretty much brought the country to a standstill? Environmentalists fault. It’s so obvious, I can’t believe only 10% believe this. To save what you love, you must sacrifice it. Those sick bastards.
8. The Existence of Aliens
It’s an old study, but not much has changed since 1999 in regard our nation’s knowledge of Alien life forms. And that’s unfortunate, as 80% of Americans believe the country’s keeping something under wraps in Roswell. Actually puts the rest of the list in perspective, doesn’t it?
9. Fox News Most Trusted Channel In News
Over half are convinced of this. Well, after that aliens stat, you can’t be that shocked.
Bonus:The most sadistic thing ever invented, but I haven’t over-snoozed in 2 weeks now
The most important and interesting development that has come from the evolution movement is this:
As we evolve we learn to think in abstract forms…the highest development of abstract thought that will ever exist…. is to believe in God.
* I know you’re trying to make a joke of sorts, but you failed at making any sort of real point or even a parody of one
1. 18% of 3003 people is a very small number considering the US population is over 300 million we could assume (only by this one bullshit study) that about 54 million morons believe this. The percentage who think he is Christian is 34%, so 100+ million. Fail.
2. This says “a huge number of Americans believe that the moon landing was staged.” Actually, no they don’t AND there is no poll or information to back up that claim. The link provided only redirects to a Wikipedia article that informs us that there are people who used to believe that. Fail.
3. Did you happen to also mention that in this same poll it reads “about four out of five Americans (79%) correctly responded that the earth revolves around the sun, while 18% say it is the other way around. These results are comparable to those found in Germany when a similar question was asked there in 1996; in response to that poll, 74% of Germans gave the correct answer, while 16% thought the sun revolved around the earth, and 10% said they didn’t know. When the question was asked in Great Britain that same year, 67% answered correctly, 19% answered incorrectly, and 14% didn’t know”. So based on your logic, people in Germany & Great Britain are both dumber than Americans. Fail.
4. This is complete bullshit. The article, by the Associated Press, never says that 1 out of 3 Americans believe in ghost. In fact, it covers a broad range of percentages and topics from ghosts to superstitions, but NEVER makes that claim. You should brush up on your reading comprehension skills. Fail.
5. One third of Texans, also known as citizens who inhabit the US State of Texas, DO NOT count as the entire US continent or the rest of its people. Texas has about 25 million people so were talking about maybe 8 million believe this. That’s 2% of America based on this poll. Fail.
6. Again, you’re not fully reading these source articles. The 51% you claim to believe in Creationism, were the “Evangelical Christians” in the poll, while from the entire poll the article says “most Americans think it is possible to believe in both God and evolution. Sixty-seven percent say this is possible.” 67% …hmmm. Fail.
7. This specific claim is the least impactful, but even you wrote, “I can’t believe only 10% believe this.” That’s right, only 10%. What a weak, limp-dicked attempt. The fact you can barely comprehend the facts in the other articles while trying to be smug and spread misinformation, only leads me to believe you probably made this up considering the link takes me to a crappy website homepage and not an actual article worth reading. Fail.
8. This is probably the most laughable topic on your list. The poll also says “Most people — 91 percent — told the pollsters that they had never had contact with aliens or known anyone who had. A similar number — 93 percent — said they had never been abducted or known anyone whisked away by beings from another planet.” So if 91-93% have never encountered or been abducted, or knew someone who had, then how do 80% of us believe in aliens? Fail.
9. This article says, “Almost half of all Americans surveyed in the poll of 1,151 registered voters said they trusted Fox News.” So how did you get “over half”? Were these same voters Republicans or Democrats or Independents? My guess is they surveyed a bunch of Republican voters and got this stat. Fox News touts its rating numbers and its popularity all the time. Fail.
Well, I’d just like to say that your reply is certainly as bad as the article, if not worse.
#1 It says in the link that the people were in various states and of various races. Obviously they aren’t going to survey the whole American population. Also, the fact that only 34% of people believe the truth just refutes your claim more.
#2 Well, considering that huge is relative, it makes sense. For example, I believe that if even 5 people believe that the moon landing was fake, that’s huge because of how stupid i think that is. The author might believe the same. But that’s okay, you seem pretty dumb, so I don’t expect you to understand relativity.
#3 I don’t know if those other polls you cited are real (link please?) but if you read the title of the article, he never says we’re dumber than other countries. It just says “9 stupidest things Americans believe” and this is a stupid thing and 18% of Americans believe it. so now wrongs there.
#4 wow. I guess I shouldn’t expect you to understand humor either. I mean, wasn’t it like incredibly obvious? I know third-graders that would understand that level of humor.
#5 okay…I agree with what you said, but it’s stated explicitly that they are only talking about the ones from texas. he never says all of america… Oh also, your last sentence implies that NOBODY OUTSIDE OF TEXAS IN THE US believes this. You’d have to be retarded to assume that.
#6 o.0 it says evangelical christians formed part of that group (no duh) but that overall, 51% of americans DO believe in creationism. please work on YOUR reading comprehension skills. I don’t see the point in bringing up the other poll on the second page, as it has nothing to do with what he’s saying.
#7 …now you don’t understand sarcasm…Have you ever had a conversation with anyone?
#8 Okay, now you’re just disregarding one poll and using false logic to try to disprove what he says…It seems to me you’re getting more desperate. It doesn’t matter that they’ve never experienced such a thing, they still believe it’s true, which is WHAT THE AUTHOR IS TRYING TO SAY ABOUT AMERICA. So you just supported his point. God, you suck at criticizing someone else.
#9 Here, the article contradicts itself, so you’re okay on that (headline vs. first paragraph), though I do find fault with the fact that you criticize the author of this article on choosing a different part than you did to get your information (WTF dude?). Anyway, the whole second half of your argument here is based on assumptions with no evidence at all behind them. really? you can’t do better than that?
Finally this is over. Sorry, I just found so many things wrong with your post, I felt compelled to correct all of them.