Collected by nerve
Lesbians who look like Justin Bieber, animals that don’t have asses, and 18 others. In convenient list form!
1) The 15 Douchiest John Mayer Quotes
Nerve readers love talking about how douchey John Mayer is almost as much as they like arguing about pubic-hair styling. In other words, a lot.
2) 109 Cats in Sweaters
Ten cats in sweaters isn’t cool. You know what’s cool? One hundred cats in sweaters.
3) 25 Lesbians Who Look Like Justin Bieber
A recent list celebrating 2010 as “The Year of the Lesbian” started with Jane Lynch’s wedding — followed by “lesbians who look like Justin Bieber.” The rise to super-stardom of a sixteen-year-old boy with lesbianic bangs seems like a weak victory for gay women. But it’s a huge coup for the list community.
4) 23 Cheerful Ditties About Murder, Death, and the Apocalypse
We’re all going to die. But as these musicians show, that’s no reason to be gloomy.
5) 6 Animals That Just Don’t Give a Fuck
This list teaches us about the honey badger — probably the cutest li’l furball you’ve ever seen. Until it rips out your fucking throat.
6) The 90 Types of Bitches
This list may not be verisimilitudinous (look it up), but it’s very thorough. It takes a true mind to recognize the distinction between Buck-toothed Bitches and Cheesy-Teeth Bitches.
7) The 50 Worst States in America
Every state has its problems. But Arizona really blows. Not even its iced tea tastes good.
8) 7 Terrifying Celebrity Face Swaps
A “celebrity face swap” is when you take the face of one celebrity and Photoshop it onto another, creating a humorous effect. It’s not generally considered a productive way to spend an afternoon.
9) 14 Pre-Gaga Meat Outfits
Historians take note: Lady Gaga is not the true originator of raw-meat clothing, merely its popularizer. The true honor belongs to the bacon-bra people.
10) The 11 Best Nude Moments in Old-School Nintendo Games
If you squint, she looks like a very pixelated version of the girl from Total Recall. And you can totally see her butt.
11) The 10 Greatest Four Loko Tributes
Last Friday, Four Loko as we knew it disappeared forever. American college students will now be forced to obtain their alcohol and caffeine fixes from separate beverages.
12) 11 Mugshots of Actual Hoes from Ludacris’ Area Codes
This might be the heaviest list on the list. But, someone listened to all of Ludacris’s songs, picked out every reference to a prostitute, and dug through crime records to find a mugshot in a corresponding area. That sort of pointless diligence must be rewarded.
13) 17 Best Invisible Cat Pictures
You might be thinking, “What? Another cat-picture list?” If you are, you need to click this. And shut up.
14) The 10 Most Iconic Crotches in Rock History
If your average crotch is a sensible grey sedan, David Lee Roth’s is a tricked out yellow Ferrari.
15) Top 10 Hungover Owls
These owls woke up in their clothes fifteen minutes late.
16) The Top 10 Boob Trick Videos
This list is a very good way to make your breasts feel inadequate. Much like Cosmo and Dolly Parton.
17) 13 Comedies with Cinematic Bad-asses Playing Second Fiddle to Kids, Dogs, and Adorable Old Ladies
One minute you’re starring in a gun-shooting, explosion-blossoming action flick. The next, you’re reading a script where you get humiliated by a gang of plucky primary-school kids, thinking, “Yeah, I’m totally going to do this.”
18) 11 Trees That Look Like Genitals
Truth: All trees look a little bit like genitals. These trees, however, look a lot like genitals.
19) 9 Ridiculous Things That Most Americans Believe
Which is more embarrassing? That eighteen percent of Americans believe the sun revolves around the earth, or that three percent of Americans have no opinion on the matter at all?
20) Top 10 Animals That Don’t Have Asses
You too are a member of the animal kingdom, friend. Don’t take your ass for granted.
Bonus:”Booboo kills Yogi” alternate ending.