Bonus: Don’t try this at home kids

Collected by webdistortion

Paypal is one of the biggest and most widely adopted forms of online payment on the web today. With the weight of Ebay behind it, PayPal has truly went from strength to strength, and is a well recognised web brand. That said, it hasn’t avoided negative press, with reports of accounts being frozen, and Paypal slow to respond to support queries, many people have been forced to review and compare other options.  Whilst many of these don’t yet have the user base of PayPal, they may serve to help you out when searching for alternatives.

Google Checkout

URL: http://checkout.google.com/

Google Checkout is Google’s attempt at a replacement for PayPal, and is still very much an inferior product, with only a small subset of the features offered by others. As for the actual transaction costs, they have completely mimicked the tiered cost structure of PayPal, as low as 1.4% + £0.20 per transaction, but as high as 3.4% + £0.20 depending on your monthly sales volume. further details can be found on pricing here.

In a similar vein to PayPal, Checkout is a middle man solution – storing credit and debit cards in its system, and then using those to transfer funds to a fro a bank account.  With the ability to embed “buy now” buttons if shopping cart functionality isn’t needed.

The adoption of Google checkout hasn’t been all that they have hoped, but that could all change pretty soon. If TechCrunch’s prediction on Google Games is correct, we could see a much more mainstream take up of Google Checkout. At time of writing they were running house ads that looked like this isn’t far of the mark.  Technical support for Google Checkout would need to improve somewhat if they are going to get the traction they need however; an outage of the service back in April saw many developers and e-commerce merchants disgruntled, with no apparent response from the Google team. Checkout is available to customers in both the U.S and Europe.

Money Bookers

URL: http://www.moneybookers.com/

Money Bookers is a UK based company,  and is Authorised and regulated by the Financial Services Authority of the United Kingdom (FSA). They offer a number of benefits including sending money securely worldwide to anyone with an email address – even if the recipient does not have a Moneybookers account yet, and accept business from lots of different currencies.  January 2010 they were reporting a user base of 10.8 million accounts – although this doesn’t indicate how many active.

Following the online wallet model, they hold all payments in limbo prior to transferring through to the final recipient, giving you some amount of protection. Escrow services are available for auction services. All previous transactions can be found in the history section of your account which can be accessed at any time and the data can be easily exported to an excel file if you want to maintain a digital backup. In the setup of an account there are a lot of verification procedures, which can take time, and they are certainly not as easy to use for someone in the US compared to someone in Europe. That level of protection will however help to give users piece of mind.

Their fees are on a flat per transaction basis, where uploading fees to a moneybookers account is free, but withdrawing funds from your account costs you. Further details for different countries can be found here.  As with Google Checkout and Paypal, they do offer a payment API – however there didn’t seem to be any quick “copy and paste to buy now” type scenario, which will put off some of the less technical users who are looking for a quick e-commerce solution. That said, requesting money is a simple matter of logging in and sending a money bookers email.

Paymate

URL: http://www.paymate.com

Availability: Australia, USA, New Zealand

Paymate provides secure, reliable and innovative Internet-based payment services to buyers in 57 countries around the world and sellers in Australia, New Zealand and the USA. You can use Paymate to receive online payments via credit card, and like PayPal – you don’t need to have a merchant facility with a bank.

Although this is a service which exists inside particular locales, it is still a worth competitor to PayPal, and has performed particularly well on Ebay Australia – where Ebay were forced to accept it as an alternative payment provider for fears of anti-trust litigation.

Details on the fees charged can be found here – with the fee for buyers in the UK at the time of writing being 3% + 0.25p  per transaction regardless of the size of transaction. However there does seem to be charges for chargebacks and a credit check charge for new customers opening an account.

OboPay

URL: https://www.obopay.com/

Obopay is one of the first mobile payment systems to make it to the web, enabling customers to transfer money to one another right from the mobile phone.  Technically this is achieved using a combination of the technologies offered on mobile devices – traditional SMS, WAP,  HTML / Web apps and bespoke iPhone applications – allowing them to cover all bases regardless of  the handset capabilities.

With more and more of the web moving mobile, its no surprise to see startups taking advantage of this, and wedging a foothold in this space. For example in May that announce that they were going to allow banks a branded payment solution to take advantage of the growing mobile trend – saving them the hassle of the implementation, and allowing OboPay to get on the pig’s back so to speak.

Amazon Payments

URL: https://payments.amazon.com/sdui/sdui/personal/money

Amazon have a number of interesting products under their ‘Payments’ banner. They have a system  for sending money which is free to use for sending money between Amazon users, and they have a number of more ‘E-commerce’ related products. If you are looking to just send and receive money in the U.S. they have a pretty attractive offering.  If however, you are needing a transaction option, you are going to have to pay for the privilege.

All of Amazon Payments uses their databases stored internally to aid with the checkout process, essentially giving sellers less hassle with the checkout process, also giving access to Amazon’s patented ‘One Click order’ services. In a similar vein to PayPal, they also offer cut and paste HTML code for their Simple Pay product, which can get you up and running quite quickly if you only have a handful of digital products to sell. Processing is performed on Amazon servers, prior to the customer being returned to finish the checkout process, which isn’t that big a deal considering its an out of the box payment solution.

As for costings, this is worked out on a per transaction basis, with fees starting at 2.9% + $0.30 per transaction for volumes under $3000. See more details on the pricing for business accounts here.

At time of writing, Amazon Payments UK hadn’t been rolled out, and the service exists for the U.S. only.

Notable Mentions – Digital Software Carts

These other links and systems may be suitable for a variety of scenarios, including digital shopping carts, card processing and digital wallet solutions. Some of them mirror the free software features found in PayPal, some of them are just bare bones solutions, but hopefully they will be useful for you to review.

E-Junkie

URL: http://www.e-junkie.com/

Provides shopping cart software which integrates with PayPal and other card processing gateways. If you are selling digital goods, thoroughly recommended folks.

Kagi

URL:: http://www.kagi.com/

In a similar vein to E-junkie, Kagi offers a digital goods delivery, and integrated shopping cart experience solution for those looking to get up and running without the hassle of setting up a full e-commerce store.

Digital River

URL: http://www.digitalriver.com

Digital River’s Element 5 product is also used across the web for digital software delivery, and its shopping cart is well respected.

Other PayPal Alternatives

Some of these additional alternatives may also be applicable to your particular situation.

1. Neteller– Prepaid card solution, giving you a mastercard that you can use instead of a credit card.
2. CCNow
3. PayPay
4. DirecPay – PayPal Alternative in India
5. AlertPay
6. Liberty Reserve
7. Strictpay
8. Perfectmoney
9. TrialPay – Ad funded Payment Platform used for social games on sites such as Facebook, and for software companies who can offer trials.

Bonus:I did and you should too.

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Written by rtcrooks

For some people, expressing tone and emotion in their writing is an arduous task. In an age where communication happens at lightening speed, text and instant messaging services have replaced more formal forms of communication. People have become more reliant on shortcuts that allow them to express tone and emotion more effectively. Emoticons, a portmanteau of the English words emotion (or emote) and icon, are the devil behind this unhealthy reliance. Emoticons provide a more straightforward, and simpler process for displaying emotions in writing – but without having to use words.

At some point in life, you are supposed to leave your childish ways behind, and grow into a real man or woman. There is nothing more depressing than watching someone desperately hanging on to their youth. With that said, why are grown men using emoticons? Wearing Converse high tops and talking about how great the new Arcade Fire album gets our seal of approval. Sending an email that reads, “Sorry your investment went belly up this quarter, :(…” does not. Take a hint old man, no one is going to give you a hard time for actually acting your age.

Emoticons Make You Look Like A Teeny Bopper On Myspace

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Are you in-between being a child and a teen? If you answer no to this question, there is no need for you to be using emoticons. “Tweens” are all the rage right now. Tween is the new marketing term used to define the demographic roughly between the ages of 8 and 14. They are easily identified as the demographic that goes to a Jonas Brother’s concert and begs their parents to buy them a $40 tour t-shirt, all while spending the entire concert screaming at the top of their lungs. According to Wikipedia, Tweens are the first “highly connected” generation. They were born into technology, and the first generation to have lifelong use of the internet, cell phones, etc. They interact with technology flawlessly; to them its invisible. They see electronic devices as an extension of themselves rather than a medium of communication. It’s almost as if emoticons were created just for them…not for you.

Laziness

/p>

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The internet may be the death of grammar among the youth today. Anyone with access to a computer can now start their own blog and unconsciously slaughter the English language. Language changes along with culture. A great example can be seen with the Hippie movement of the 60’s. Their everyday language was filled with expressions such as: Groovy, far out, happening, and dude. But does basic, good grammar really have to disappear from our society? Laziness is a stinky perfume, so spend an extra 30 seconds on your next forum post. Grown men (and women) should not become a catalyst for destroying proper sentence structure, or hitch a ride on the emoticon band wagon.

Emoticons = Bad Business Practice

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Bombarding clients and co-workers with playful emoticons at the end of e-mails is not what someone would call, “professional”. Alexis Feldman, the director of the Feldman Realty Group, a commercial real estate company in Manhattan, knows this all too well. More than once she has had a multimillion-dollar deal fall through. She says that she’ll get an e-mail that says, “Sorry, my client is not interested in the space, too bad we couldn’t make the big bucks” with a frown face at the end of it! Sending off a “tough break” e-mail with a frown face emoticon at the end of it does not make someone feel better about losing hundreds of thousands of dollars, in fact it makes you look like a bona fide jerk.

They Alter The Reader’s Perception

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When trying to convey a message to another person or audience, there are certain ways to gain credibility. Using emoticons is not one of them. Good grammar, research with credible sources, style, and organization are the arenas that writers should be worried about. Not emoticons of a bunny ( /), or animations of a devilish smiley face. Emoticons add too much playfulness to allow for the author to be taken seriously. But grown men want to be taken seriously, unless they want to date 22 yr old’s who just want to party; for the rest of their life. And if that’s you’re predicament, you’re most likely dealing with much bigger issues than using emoticons.

They’re Meant To Be Used Ironically

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The first person documented to have used the emoticons ” 🙂 ” and ” 🙁 ” with a specific suggestion that they be used to express emotion, was Scott Fahlman. Fahlman is a computer scientist at Carnegie Mellon University, and his work has been dedicated to the cascade correlation algorithm, the Dylan programming language, and Common Lisp (We don’t expect you to know what any of this computer jargon specifically relates to. Just know that one day it will lead to artificial intelligence) His original message from 1982 appears below:

19-Sep-82 11:44 Scott E Fahlman 🙂

From: Scott E Fahlman

I propose that the following character sequence for joke markers:

🙂

Read it sideways. Actually, it is probably more economical to mark

things that are NOT jokes, given current trends. For this, use:

🙁

Wall Street

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Do you want the people handling your investment nest egg using emoticons when they e-mail you about your portfolio?

“We know its been a tough year, but you only lost $15,000 this year : ) Some people lost $35,000 : ( ”

There is something about this type of correspondence that doesn’t sit well with us. Maybe because they’re poking fun at the fact we lost $15,000, and will not be able to send our 18yr old to college this fall. Needless to say, Wall Street and emoticons do not correlate into a winning relationship.

They’re Superfluous Expressions That Highlight Poor Language Skills

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If you ever want to be considered a praiseworthy writer, then you need to hone and craft your writing skills. If your words sound harsh when delivered without a wink or a smile, then you need to take an English 101 refresher course at your local community college. If you cannot convey to other internet users — with your words — whether or not your point was friendly or humorous, then take an English 201 course. If you cannot express your point without fancy animated punching smileys or figures that represent Sadaam Hussein, then take an English 301 course. If that still doesn’t work, then just do us all a favor and just give up your writing career.

They Undermine Your Credibility As An Authority Figure

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You cruise into the office one morning, sit down at your computer to check your e-mail, and BLAMMO! You instantly realize you forgot to attach a time sensitive document to an e-mail you sent the night before. You suddenly get sick to your stomach. Your boss is going to thrust your neck into a guillotine for this blunder. When you finally work up the nerve to check your inbox you start dying laughing; here is the message from your boss:

“Hi Peter, what were you thinking? 🙁 That document needed to be sent out last night so that our New York office could get started on the project first thing this morning. The East coast guys are so >:( with you right now! You really let us down on this one

Are you really going to take your boss seriously after getting an e-mail like this? We didn’t think so.

Bonus: Mario & Luigi spotted in real life

Written by brainz.org

Universally and instantly recognizable, the President of the United States – the heads of state and government of the world’s largest superpower, the commander–in-chief of the US Armed Forces, the omnipotent and oft-termed “Leader of the Free World” – requires no long-winded or flowery introduction. What does require clarification, however, are the notions of “smartness” and “dumbness”. What makes someone smart or dumb? Is it their level of education? Their talents? Their actions? Their achievements? Their IQ? Their intellectualism?

Apart from the obvious answer (that it is one’s ability to ask a string of rhetorical questions) “smartness” is a concept that is open to a range of interpretations, so it is conceded that the assessments made in this article are open to debate. However, to stifle Internet debate (a.k.a. “flame wars”) this article will not base its assessment on policy decisions made by the respective presidents, and, furthermore, accepts that the act of holding the presidential office in itself demonstrates some inkling of intelligence.

The Smartest

This section of the article deals with the most interesting of the presidents that can be deemed intelligent. Whilst some might bemoan the lack of Obama or Kennedy, who are undeniably intelligent, the presidents here either have madder skillz or achievements that outshine them.

Thomas Jefferson (3rd President, from 1801-1809)

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No matter how one interprets “smartness”, Thomas Jefferson would unequivocally qualify. The principal author of The Declaration of Independence, Jefferson’s talents could constitute a book; the following catalog barely does them justice. During his teenage years at the College of William and Mary in Williamsburg, VA, Jefferson became incredibly proficient in philosophy, mathematics, history, French, Latin and Greek. “Pfft-“, some hipster reader will undoubtedly say, “-Wikipedia knows all of those things- and Jefferson couldn’t Wikipedia like I Wikipedia!” In this obtuse and poorly articulated response lies a valid criticism – the ability to merely retain knowledge from books may not constitute smartness. But Jefferson was more than just book-smart: a polymath – which is a person distinguished in many varied fields, and not an obnoxious exponential equation – he was also an accomplished archeologist, author, inventor, lawyer, musician (talented in the cello, clavichord and violin) ornithologist, paleontologist, poet and speechmaker. And before you interrupt with some obscure insult, hipster, his architectural and horticultural prowess was such that he designed the University of Virginia (which he himself founded) and the Poplar Forest. This ridonkulous amount of talent was recognized by later president John F. Kennedy when he addressed 49 Nobel Laureates, “I think this is the most extraordinary collection of talent and of human knowledge that has ever been gathered together at the White House – with the possible exception of when Thomas Jefferson dined alone.”

John Adams (2nd President, from 1797-1801)

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Another Founding Father was John Adams, whose dinners with Jefferson (amongst others) resulted in the American Declaration of Independence, the screenplay to the 1996 blockbuster smash hit starring Will Smith, the document where the American colonies announced and justified their secession from the British Empire. With his polymathic fingers in every pie, it is unsurprising that it was Jefferson’s hand that predominantly penned the Declaration, but it was John Adams who championed it in Congressional debates. Adams’ oratory was so dedicated and effective that Jefferson wrote in a letter , “No man better merited, than Mr. John Adams to hold a most conspicuous place in the design. He was the pillar of it’s [sic] support on the floor of Congress, it’s [sic] ablest advocate and defender against the multifarious assaults it encountered.”

James Madison (4th President, from 1809-1817)

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Often included with the Declaration of Independence, in terms of historical and societal significance, are The Constitution and The Bill of Rights.  Another close friend of Thomas Jefferson, James Madison, was largely responsible for these two fundamental documents.  He was a major proponent behind the drafting and ratification of The Constitution, and he codified Jefferson’s belief of the primacy of liberty by tabling The Bill of Rights before Congress.  Similar to Jefferson, he was broadly educated from a young age, learning Latin, Greek, French, Italian, Spanish as well as mathematics, history and science. In 1769, he continued his tertiary education at the College of New Jersey (which was later to become Princeton), and his study of the philosophies of Aristotle and John Locke no doubt shaped his thoughts on constitutionalism and liberty. Despite slight dabbling in law, he never made the bar, which makes his drafting of the two most fundamental legal instruments even more noteworthy. As a result of his education and his contributions to the legal sphere, James Madison was ranked as the second most intelligent president in a study conducted by political scholars at the Siena Institute (Jefferson obviously came first).

Thomas Woodrow Wilson (28th President, from 1913-1921)

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Exactly 110 years after James Madison first set foot in the hallowed halls of the College of New Jersey, a young man named Woodrow Wilson graduated from there. This same man would return a few short years later, in 1890, to join the professorial faculty and shortly after that, in 1902, assume the position of President of Princeton. He must have liked the title “President”, for in 1912 he stood and won the presidential election. Wilson remains the most academically qualified president, being the only one thus far to receive a doctorate. His 1885 PhD treatise titled, “Congressional Government: A Study in American Politics” no doubt prepared him well for his life in politics, and in 1919, Woodrow Wilson was awarded a Nobel Peace Prize for his leadership during World War I. It therefore seems…(puts on sunglasses)…that WWI really needed its WW. YEAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Theodore Roosevelt (26th President, from 1901-1909)

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Woodrow Wilson’s ascendancy to the presidential office was as a result of his rivals William Taft and Theodore Roosevelt splitting the Republican vote . Similar to Wilson, Roosevelt, after whom the teddy bear is named, was also a published academic, writing several acclaimed histories. He was also a keen hunter and naturalist, journeying to Africa and South America where he stuffed and mounted many queer beasts (taxidermically speaking, ye of dirty mind). Roosevelt’s interests stemmed from his primary homeschooling, which resulted in a strange and varied academic aptitude: he was strong in history and biology, French and German, but not in mathematics, Latin or Greek. Apart from these academic qualities, Roosevelt had an incredible mind: he was said to have an eidetic (photographic) memory and could memorize entire books. He had a phenomenal ability to carry out several tasks at once, apparently able to dictate a letter to one secretary, a memorandum to another, and casually read a book, all simultaneously.

James Garfield(20th President, from March- September  1881)

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Another president with talents so phenomenal that they are barely credible is James Garfield. He was not only the first ambidextrous president, but also multi-lingual: unlike Roosevelt, he excelled at Greek and Latin. That in itself is nothing to crow about – all the other presidents previously mentioned were proficient in multiple languages – but what was incredible was that he could write in both languages simultaneously – Greek with one hand and Latin with the other! Garfield’s freakishly awesome talent can only be described as pen-omenal.

The Hybrids

As raised before, the notion of smartness is very subjective; depending on which criterion one uses, one can reach very different assessments. This section considers presidents who exhibited both smartness and dumbness depending on different criteria.

Richard Nixon (37th President, from 1969-1974)

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If one uses the Intelligence Quotient test as a determinant of smartness, then Richard Nixon is the smartest , with his IQ of 143 least ability to avoid making crucial mistakes. This is finding was evidenced by Nixon being the only president forced to resign from office.

Bill Clinton (42nd President, from 1993-2001)

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Another president whose scandalous actions lead to their public humiliation was Bill Clinton, whose affair with Monica Lewinski and later perjury about the matter rocked, shocked and rolled the country. Whilst Clinton finished his term with the highest approval rating of any president since Eisenhower, it was put forward that the scandal derailed the election campaign of Al Gore, and in any case, the perjury resulted in the revocation of his license to practice law in Arkansas. However, whilst the affair may have been a dumb decision, or as Clinton describes it, “a terrible moral error”, Clinton is anything but dumb, when one considers his education. The recipient of many scholarships, the most prestigious being Oxford University’s Rhodes Scholarship, Clinton is an alumnus of the august Georgetown, Oxford and Yale universities. He graduated from the latter with a Juris Doctorate, and assumed a professorial role at the University of Arkansas before entering politics.

Abraham Lincoln (16th President, from 1861-1865)

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Unlike Bill Clinton, Abraham Lincoln had very little schooling – only having formal tuition for 18 months. By this criterion, one might judge him as dumb, but that would be jumping the gun. An avid reader, Lincoln educated himself, a process that he described as “stud[ying]with nobody.” Through his study, he managed to master law and was admitted to the bar in 1837. Giant in stature, he became a giant in statute: he soon developed a reputation for being a ferocious and formidable cross-examiner. This legal success indicates a man of prodigious natural talent, and it is arguable whether this makes him smarter than one who is formally taught. What may further inform one’s view on the matter is that Lincoln is the only president to have registered a patent: a buoyancy device to right ships in rough weather.

The Dumbest

This is the section you have no doubt been waiting for – the one that deals with the comparatively less talented presidents. Like tequila shots, the judgments proclaimed in this section should be enjoyed liberally and with a pinch of salt – and one should savor, rather than revile, the burn and the acerbity.

Warren G. Harding (29th President, from 1921-1923)

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Perhaps not a household name, Warren Harding is the worst of the first men; he has the ignominy of being ranked America’s least intelligent president. Although the Siena study does not specify how it reaches its conclusions, a consideration of Harding’s conduct during his term yields much insight into this Nein-stein. His presidential term was rocked by scandals greater than either Lewinsky or Watergate: nepotism ran free and many of his friends thus appointed (known as “The Ohio Gang”) were involved in bribery and embezzlement scandals. Although the White House was not subject to the same scrutiny and transparency of today, the shady dealings were so brazen and gormless that they quickly came to light. However, the only thing dumber than these peccadilloes (and it’s not his middle name, Gamaliel) is Harding’s barely hidden consumption of alcohol at private parties in the White House. Why is this dumb? Well, Harding’s presidency coincided with the Prohibition. Also, being apparently handsome, Harding was nominated to try to secure the vote of women in the 1920 election (the first time women voted in America). When it became apparent that his wife was treated as a waitress at these parties, and that he engaged in multiple extra-marital affairs, he disenfranchised and isolated his key demographic.

Calvin Coolidge (30th President, from 1923-1929)

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With the sudden death of Harding in 1923, his Vice-President Calvin Coolidge ascended to the presidency. Despite such insightful statements as, “When a great many people are unable to find work, unemployment results”, Coolidge qualifies as one of the dumbest presidents in a very different capacity: although well educated, Coolidge was a shy and taciturn president, and in this sense could be considered the dumbest of all. There are many anecdotes that are testament to his silent nature, the best of which being an exchange between him and a Washington socialite. The socialite said that she had bet her friends that she could extract three words from him; Calvin replied coolly, “You lose.”

Ronald Reagan (40th President, from 1981-1989)

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Ronald Reagan had the complete opposite personality to the reserved Coolidge. A jovial, showy celebrity, Reagan acted in well over fifty films before entering politics. However, he features in this section for more conventional reasons than Coolidge – he demonstrated none of the characteristics that are traditionally ascribed to smartness. Talented neither academically nor musically, his spheres were the dramatic and the athletic. He could not be considered an intellectual, nor an author of any merit (his diaries, although wildly popular, are neither literary nor academic) and his only invention was this side-splittingly savage satirical joke. The most convincing evidence of Reagan’s dumbness ironically comes from the words of his supporters. Wrote Martin Anderson, one of Reagan’s longstanding advisors, “his drafts contain thousands of facts and figures. Sometimes he lists his sources in accompanying documents. In one case, for an essay on oil, he appended them. At times he cites his sources in the text.” Great Scott! The man used facts and citations: that should wipe the disbelieving smile off Doctor Emmett Brown’s face.

Andrew Johnson(17th President, from 1865-1869)

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Andrew Johnson became president after the assassination of Abraham Lincoln, and though those were both literally and metaphorically large shoes to fill, he did a particularly poor job of it: the Siena study ranks him as the third dumbest and all time worst president. Like Lincoln, he had no formal education, and like Reagan, his vocation (a tailor) is not one that is traditionally associated with smartness. Unlike either of them, he had no redeeming characteristics. Despite supporting Abraham Lincoln during the Civil War, he was the South’s most dogmatic and most bigoted proponent of slavery. Whether or not he was aware of the inherent contradiction, there was an ulterior motive for this union: the devious Johnson was trying to worm his way into the Oval Office (nothing to see here, ye dirty minds, move along). This motive was realized when he was announced as Vice-President in Lincoln’s successful 1864 presidential campaign. However, in dumbness par excellence, he appeared at the inauguration drunk, and his inaugural speech was cut short after he made abusive and inappropriate comments. His later presidency fared little better – stubborn and uncompromising, he alienated both parties and was eventually impeached.

Gerald Ford (38th President, from 1974-1977)

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A Yale Law School graduate, Gerald Ford was also an accomplished football player. Unfortunately, his smartness is closer to that of a jock than a judge. This was noted by his rival Lyndon B. Johnson, who accused him of “playing too much football without a helmet” and claimed, “Jerry Ford is so dumb he can’t fart and chew gum at the same time.” Moreover, it has been suggested that Ford’s honesty, in contrast to the Agnew-Nixon lack of integrity, made him the ideal presidential candidate. Perhaps, but it also makes him an ideal candidate for this section. An honest politician? That’s either plain naïve or an elaborate Cretan paradox. And for those unconvinced by this watertight line of argumentation, consider some of Ford’s words of wisdom: “If Lincoln were alive today, he’d roll over in his grave”, and, “I watch a lot of baseball on the radio.”

George W. Bush (42nd President, from 2001-2009)

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Of course we saved the best for last. It isn’t really necessary to justify Dubya’s appearance in this section –and nor do we have the space – but it’s good fun to reminisce nostalgically over his well documented failings. Like Ford, Bush graduated from Yale (although he only managed a C-grade average ) and also like Ford, perplexing, contradictory or painfully banal self-evident observations (yep, they are a real pain in the ass) emerge, unchecked, from his mouth. But unlike Ford, the sheer rate and frequency of these mistakes were so incredible that recording them went beyond cheap political points-scoring: they demanded cataloging for posterity’s sake, lest future generations forget or disbelieve their existence. A neologism had to be coined to describe them, and so “Bushism” entered the American vernacular. The Complete Bushisms, all 13 pages of them, are available here. As a result, the Siena study found him to be the second dumbest president of all time. And perhaps worse still, not even Google can save him from being considered just a tad slimy.

Bonus: Confucius Say…

40 Sleep Hacks: The Geek’s Guide to Optimizing Sleep

Read this Book in Google Docs

Table of contents

Section I: Hacking Sleep Schedules

1. Wake up at the same time every morning
2. Try free-running sleep
3. The 28-hour day
4. Polyphasic sleep
5. Keep a sleep log
6. Give your schedules 10 days to ‘click’
7. Reduce your sleep need

Section II: Diet

8. Eat whole foods, unprocessed foods, and raw foods
9. Eat light in the evening
10. Eat a small pre-bedtime snack
11. Drink caffeine in the morning, not at night
12. Eat breakfast
13. Control your cortisol
14. Avoid foods you may be sensitive to
Section III: Napping
15. Master the art of napping
16. Caffeine nap
17. Pzizz your way to sleep
18. Create your own nap mp3

Section IV: Dreaming and Creativity

19. Learn to lucid dream
20. Use lucid dreaming to cultivate peak performance, solve problems, and overcome fears.
21. Explore hypnagogia
22. Keep a dream journal
Section V: Sleep Environment
23. Sleep in complete darkness
24. Sleep in the cold

Section VI: Sleep Gadgets

25. Use noise cancelling headphones
26. Use a bright light alarm
27. Use a sun box
28. The SleepTracker watch
29. Use a sleep mask
30. Use an mp3 alarm clock

Section VII: Psychology

31. Use your brain’s internal alarm clock
32. Set up morning rewards
33. Write down tomorrow’s to-do list
34. Change your attitude toward sleep
35. Train your brain to wake up to alarms
36. Set two alarms
37. Maintain a positive attitude toward life
38. Wake up to euphoric music

Section VIII: Lifestyle

39. Meditate
40. Fall in love

Written by mostlylisa

I just finished processing my snaps from my fabulous Disneyland birthday weekend and I thought I’d share some tips and tricks for getting great vacation photos.

As a die-hard photographer, I understand the tendency to want to capture every single moment of life, rather than experience it. While this will result in more photos of your trip, it may not result in the best photos. After a day of continuous snapping and being asked to smile and pose, even the most enthusiastic subjects will look like annoyed-looking grumps in your photos.

Instead of continuously shooting throughout the day, pick three or four times for posed family photos in front of main landmarks, and casually snap candids the rest of the time. Know when to put away your dSLR and just enjoy the day.

Taken while Pete was distracted by brightly coloured sweets. 🙂

All this goes out the window if there is amazing light. In that case, give your kids $10, point to the nearest ice cream store, and say, “Yay!! Ice cream!!” I find I can capture a lot of great shots when people are distracted with food or shiny things. I call it the “distract and snap” method.

Oh look! A Mickey pretzel!

2. Pack the right gear

5DMKII + 16-35mm + 430EX with an Omnibounce

On this trip to Disneyland, I brought minimal gear with me to the park because I knew that I would be trekking around a lot and going on bumpy, wet and generally gear-unfriendly rides. I brought my 5DMKII with the 16-35mm f/2.8, 430EX flash, Canon SD 1300 point & shoot, and my iPhone 4.

Pete waiting for the Monorail in Tomorrowland.

I only brought one lens because I find that I can capture great scene shots at 16mm and great people pictures at 35mm. Plus, it’s relatively small and unobtrusive. A 35mm, 24-70mm or a 18-55mm kit lens would work as well.

View from my hotel room at the Grand Californian.

If you are missing a zoom lens or wide angle, use a point and shoot or phone to grab these shots. Remember it’s all about about capturing moments, not perfect photographs.

2. Bring extra memory cards & batteries

Esmerelda, Main Street, Disneyland

I usually have 4 X 8GB cards and an extra battery for my dSLR on me at all times. I tore through all of these on this trip, especially when I was taking video. So depending on what you are shooting, I would recommend having at least 4 cards with you, if not more. Always pack an extra battery and make sure you charge your phone the night before.

Toy Story’s “Woody” in Vinylmation store.

3. Capture the story

While it’s great to capture the big breathtaking scenic moments of your vacation, try to capture all the seemingly mundane moments in between to connect all your images into a story of your trip.

Snap a picture of your breakfast, the view from your hotel window, your family getting ready to go out, your boyfriend checking his feeds during dinner :-|, or any little candid moment you’d like to remember.

I find that these shots are the ones I really cherish, because they remind me of my experience, rather than the place itself. I love this shot of my epic R2D2 “Mostly Lisa” Mouse Ears getting made.

3. Capture the entire scene

Paradise Pier, California Adventureland

Always take a step back and capture the full scene. It’s a good opportunity to actually focus on your photography for a moment. I usually try to grab a few good shots when I’m waiting in lines for food, transport or Space Mountain 🙂

Space Mountain!

To maximize your photo taking, set your camera to burst mode, so you can fire off a bunch of shots really quickly. Another way you can increase your chances of getting a great shot is by bracketing the exposure to +2 and -2 EV. This way when you fire off three shots in burst mode, you get three shots of varied exposure: 1. Over-exposed; 2. Normally exposed; & 3. Under-exposed.

Mark Twain Riverboat, Disneyland

5. Don’t forget to get in the picture too!

Cotton candy & magic hour in California Adventureland.

There are so many times when I come back from a trip and realize there are no pictures of me, almost as if I wasn’t there. I know most photographers hate being photographed, but your loved ones and demanding Facebook friends will appreciate a few pictures with you in them 😛 Before you pass of your camera, make sure it’s set up correctly so that anyone can just click the shutter. I usually set up the frame and settings on someone and then swap with that person, so all my settings are correct.

Point and shoot shot of Pete & I after a ride on Indiana Jones.

I’m not keen on strangers handling my dSLR, so if I want a shot with me and someone, I’ll either set up my point and shoot on a little gorilla pod and use a timer or just hand hold it. NB. Hand holding a dSLR is not recommended unless you’ve got the guns to support it 😛

I look forward to seeing all of your shots of the upcoming holiday season!!!

We all know about the Hostgator Black Friday deal, which helped many people to get their web hosting with a maximum possible discount of 80% and 50%. This is their best deal in their 8 years of web hosting and this made a lot of people to get their first hosting account. If you have missed that opportunity on Black Friday, here’s another one for you.

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Sign Up for Hostgator Cyber Monday Promotion (Coupon: CYBERMONDAY2010)

Do let us know whether you’re lucky enough to get a web hosting account from Hostgator on Black Friday? Also let us know whether you have any plans to get their hosting services again on Cyber Monday?

Written by Andrea Bartz & Brenna Ehrlich

Profile pics that look like Budweiser ads — or, say, this photo — are probably not the best choices for your Facebook page.

If a Facebook picture is worth a thousand words, we’re pretty sure there’s one word in the lexicon you’d be loath to have associated with you: tool.

(Unless you’re a handyman, in which case, carry on.)

Yes, Facebook started off as a gated community for college kids awkwardly trolling for chicks in their rooms because the outside world was just too bright … too bright. But now, as Mark Zuckerberg sallies forth with his plan to consume all of society, it has become kind of legit.

Last week, Zuckerberg unveiled a messaging system for the book of faces that will consolidate e-mail, texts, chat and Facebook messages. While we (unlike myriad reactionary news outlets) won’t be calling Z’s new baby a “Gmail killer” any time soon (dude, eradicate all those FB phishing scams and then we’ll talk), the fact that Facebook would take such a step got us thinking.

Every day, 4 billion messages are shot off via Facebook, and next to those 4 billion messages is something that could make or break the legitimacy of your missive — or, at the very least, amuse or horrify your friends: your profile picture.

This is your calling card, your public face. So why do so many of you contort it into that of a duck?

Read on for five common types of Facebook photos that make your friends want to block you, potential employers take pause and future suitors weep with frustration at the state of the human race.

The “MySpace shot”

The pouty, self-taken “MySpace” mirror shot just makes you look like a narcissist.

Oh, the “MySpace shot” — in which men pose shirtless in front of their bathroom mirrors and women pout into their boobs.

You think it makes you look sexy, but, truth be told, it makes you look like you have no friends. Which makes sense, considering the dudes are always hanging out shirtless in the bathroom and the chicks always look so freaking depressed.

Fun fact: Research from OK Cupid shows the “MySpace shot” is the most effective snap for women when it comes to racking up messages. Still, that same research shows that shots of a chick doing something interesting, as opposed to looking sexy, garnered more meaningful communication.

Yes, Facebook is not OK Cupid, but the research holds true: A cell phone pic may get you some attention, but, well, so will drunkenly passing out at a party and flashing your underwear.

And for those among you who are too deeply entrenched in the morass of narcissism to pry iPhone from hand, might we suggest getting an account on DailyBooth? This service lets you take a photo of yourself every day in order to track how your appearance changes over time. At least then you can call it art … or something.

Subbing in an inanimate object/pet/baby

Sure, he’s cute. But he’s not you.

“Hey Tim… so, I’ve known you for about five years now and I’m pretty sure you are not a crude drawing of a dinosaur, a cat with lasers for eyes or a green square. No, I’m pretty sure you’re a skinny dude with an only slightly unfortunate haircut.”

So thinketh your friends when nary a picture on your Facebook profile is actually of you. Also, people will start to wonder if you have been disfigured in some horrifying accident and — Phantom of the Opera-like — are masking your hideous face with that of Conan’s.

If you insist on getting creative with your profile pic, check out Twibbons, which lets you create profile images that promote a cause.

Liquoring up

A couple of party pictures in which you’re holding a glass of wine or a beer are fine, but a parade of profile pics that could pass for Budweiser ads — or, for that matter, the photo above — are probably not the best choice when it comes to looking like a professional/not an alcoholic.

Yeah, that pic of you in the pool doing Edward 40-Hands might be hilarious to your poker pals and fellow former frat bros, but the kids you teach fourth grade math to (and their parents) will probably be less than amused.

Group shots

Yes, we get it — you have lots of friends and are very popular.

Let’s say you meet a new dude at a dark party. The guy seems nice, and looks to be cute from what you can tell through the haze of the smoke machine and Four Loko (it hasn’t been banned everywhere yet, folks), but you can’t quite tell because of the crudely markered-on Castro beard (oh, forgot to mention it’s Halloween).

The next day, you eagerly seek out homeboy on Facebook, only to find a profile picture that features not one, but five similar-looking dudes lying in the grass — wearing Wayfarers and fedoras. How are you supposed to tell which is which, and whether you should click “friend”?

Yeah, Facebook is not technically a dating site, but let’s face it, the first thing you do after meeting a new romantic interest is stalk the hell outta him or her. According to a survey from Seventeen magazine, within one week of meeting someone, 79 percent of 16-21 year-olds add that person to their Facebook circle.

And, as shallow as it is, folks will judge you based on your profile — that same research shows that 43 percent of girls would decide not to date someone if his profile was a bust. So don’t hide behind your friends in the shot that’s supposed to show who you are. Save that for after the breakup, when you run into her at your local watering hole.

Holiday or wedding pics … months after the wedding

Sure, your wedding was awesome — way back in JULY. Don’t rub it in.

Yes, it was totally awesome that that Halloween party you went to featured not one, not two, but three Fidel Castros (you are the dude mentioned above, btw), but it’s not so awesome that you should still keep a picture documenting this phenom front and center in late November. A week or two tops, friends, and then it’s back to that lovely shot of you wearing pleated pants and a polo (we’ll tackle that problem at a later date).

The same goes for wedding photos. It’s really nice that you got married, and we all pored through every shot from the ceremony, but leaving up a portrait of you in full bridal garb for several months is akin to shoving your ring in your friends’ faces daily.

We are no longer happy for you. You are now just gloating. We fear the day when you produce offspring.

Bonus:Thanksgiving lesson from dad…