{"id":100,"date":"2007-08-07T14:56:29","date_gmt":"2007-08-07T21:56:29","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.bspcn.com\/2007\/08\/07\/20-things-i-learned-from-tech-support\/"},"modified":"2008-11-12T23:59:46","modified_gmt":"2008-11-13T06:59:46","slug":"20-things-i-learned-from-tech-support","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/2007\/08\/07\/20-things-i-learned-from-tech-support\/","title":{"rendered":"20 Things I Learned From Tech Support"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Written by <a href=\"http:\/\/kludgespot.blogspot.com\/2007\/08\/20-things-i-learned-from-tech-support.html\" target=\"_blank\">kludge<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a onblur=\"try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}\" href=\"http:\/\/bp1.blogger.com\/_Qj6qGd4X52M\/RrdOFi6CpMI\/AAAAAAAAAg0\/-JHeF8Mg_Ig\/s1600-h\/phone.png\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/bp1.blogger.com\/_Qj6qGd4X52M\/RrdOFi6CpMI\/AAAAAAAAAg0\/-JHeF8Mg_Ig\/s320\/phone.png\" name=\"BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5095627360569566402\" align=\"right\" height=\"272\" width=\"225\" border=\"0\" id=\"BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5095627360569566402\"\/><\/a><\/p>\n<ul class=\"noindent\">\n<li>As long as the world turns, users will still have problems<\/li>\n<li>Substance abusers and computer operators are the only folks called users. This isn&#8217;t by chance<\/li>\n<li>When in doubt. Reboot<\/li>\n<li>Sooner or later you will meet a person who types out the words &#8220;backslash&#8221; or forgets to plug in the power cord. If you haven&#8217;t yet, just wait, you will<\/li>\n<li>Fear the phone. No one just calls tech support to wish you good morning<\/li>\n<li>No user will tell you the whole truth at the beginning of a call<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;I didn&#8217;t do anything&#8221; or &#8220;It just happened&#8221; Are the users mantra<\/li>\n<li>As a support tech, it is your job to break down resistance and get the truth<\/li>\n<li>This is so you can rub the lie in their face, fixing the issue is just a perk<\/li>\n<li>Some people will never learn<\/li>\n<li>This means you will always have a job<\/li>\n<li>Maintain a calm voice, even if you&#8217;re screaming on the inside<\/li>\n<li>The hold button is your friend<\/li>\n<li>Whatever you do, don&#8217;t panic<\/li>\n<li>The answer to all users questions should be &#8220;Trust me, I know what I&#8217;m doing&#8221; even if this is a bald-faced lie<\/li>\n<li>Users can smell fear. Once you&#8217;ve lost control, all is lost<\/li>\n<li>A user who is not listening to you anymore, but rather is trying &#8220;their own thing&#8221; is not worth your time. Simulate a telephone disconnect and hang up. Trust me, you&#8217;re better off.<\/li>\n<li>Sometimes fixing a computer is easier than figuring out why it was broken<\/li>\n<li>Users always want a reason things are fixed. If you&#8217;re not sure just lie. They won&#8217;t know anyway. &#8220;A stray electron passed through the processor and caused&#8230;&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>If possible ask to speak to the youngest person present\n<p>clickety clickety&#8230;<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Written by kludge As long as the world turns, users will still have problems Substance abusers and computer operators are the only folks called users. This isn&#8217;t by chance When in doubt. Reboot Sooner or later you will meet a person who types out the words &#8220;backslash&#8221; or forgets to plug in the power cord. [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/100"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=100"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/100\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=100"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=100"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=100"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}