{"id":1071,"date":"2009-07-30T11:19:08","date_gmt":"2009-07-30T16:19:08","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.bspcn.com\/2009\/07\/30\/how-to-get-arrested-in-8-easy-steps\/"},"modified":"2009-07-30T11:24:59","modified_gmt":"2009-07-30T16:24:59","slug":"how-to-get-arrested-in-8-easy-steps","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/2009\/07\/30\/how-to-get-arrested-in-8-easy-steps\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Get Arrested in 8 Easy Steps"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>Written by <a href=\"http:\/\/blogs.riverfronttimes.com\/dailyrft\/2009\/07\/how_to_get_arrested_at_the_lake_of_the_ozarks.php\" target=\"_blank\">dailyrft<\/a><\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/lh6.ggpht.com\/_MsZb8mYFoCs\/SnHHyRw_THI\/AAAAAAAAITU\/FwwEGUxV6TE\/s576\/walletbig.jpg\" height=\"375\" width=\"500\"\/><\/p>\n<p>Anybody can do it! Follow these instructions: <\/p>\n<p>(<em>Editor&#8217;s Note: This actually happened last weekend; check out <a href=\"http:\/\/www.lakenewsonline.com\/homepage\/x1641099645\/Man-arrested-when-attempting-to-retrieve-lost-wallet\">the story<\/a> at <a href=\"http:\/\/www.lakenewsonline.com\/\">Lake News Online<\/a><\/em>) <\/p>\n<p>1) Grab two other dudes and steal a <a href=\"http:\/\/www.kawasaki.com\/Products\/SubCategory.aspx?id=15\">Kawasaki Mule<\/a> (kind of like a golf cart on steroids) <\/p>\n<p>2) Vroom-vroom your way into a resort parking lot. <\/p>\n<p>3) Try to run over a security guard (don&#8217;t worry, he&#8217;ll jump out of the way &#8211; whoa CRAZY!) <\/p>\n<p>4) Ditch the Mule and gambol off, giddy that you&#8217;ve outwitted The Man! <\/p>\n<p>5) CRUCIAL STEP: LEAVE YOUR WALLET IN THE STOLEN VEHICLE. <\/p>\n<p>6) Allow enough time for somebody to find it and hand it over to the police department. <\/p>\n<p>7) Show up at the police department to claim your lost wallet. <\/p>\n<p>8) Presto! You&#8217;re in handcuffs. Unreal is so proud you reached your gaol goal. Unreal will NOT be bailing you out.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Written by dailyrft Anybody can do it! Follow these instructions: (Editor&#8217;s Note: This actually happened last weekend; check out the story at Lake News Online) 1) Grab two other dudes and steal a Kawasaki Mule (kind of like a golf cart on steroids) 2) Vroom-vroom your way into a resort parking lot. 3) Try to [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1071"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1071"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1071\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1072,"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1071\/revisions\/1072"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1071"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1071"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1071"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}