{"id":1296,"date":"2009-12-01T08:52:27","date_gmt":"2009-12-01T15:52:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.bspcn.com\/?p=1296"},"modified":"2009-12-01T08:52:27","modified_gmt":"2009-12-01T15:52:27","slug":"30-secrets-your-waiter-will-never-tell-you","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/2009\/12\/01\/30-secrets-your-waiter-will-never-tell-you\/","title":{"rendered":"30 Secrets Your Waiter Will Never Tell You"},"content":{"rendered":"

Written by Michelle Crouch<\/a><\/p>\n

Two dozen servers reveal the truth about what goes on behind the kitchen doors.<\/h2>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

What would two dozen servers from across the country tell you if they could get away with it? Well, for starters, when to go out, what not to order, what really happens behind the kitchen\u2019s swinging doors, and what they think of you and your tips. Here, from a group that clears a median $8.01 an hour in wages and tips, a few revelations that aren\u2019t on any menu.<\/p>\n

What We Lie About<\/strong><\/p>\n

1. We\u2019re not allowed to tell our customers we don\u2019t like a dish. So if you ask your server how something is and she says, \u201cIt\u2019s one of our most popular dishes,\u201d chances are she doesn\u2019t like it.<\/p>\n

\u2014Waitress at a well-known pizza chain<\/p>\n

2. On Christmas Day, when people ask why I\u2019m there, I might say, \u201cMy sister\u2019s been in the hospital,\u201d or, \u201cMy brother\u2019s off to war, so we\u2019re celebrating when he gets back.\u201d Then I rake in the tips.<\/p>\n

\u2014Chris, a New York City waiter and the founder of\u00a0bitterwaitress.com<\/a><\/p>\n

3. If you\u2019re looking for your waiter and another waiter tells you he\u2019s getting something out of the stockroom, you can bet he\u2019s out back having a quick smoke.<\/p>\n

\u2014Charlie Kondek, former waiter at a Denny\u2019s in Central Michigan<\/p>\n

4. If someone orders a frozen drink that\u2019s annoying to make, I\u2019ll say, \u201cOh, we\u2019re out. Sorry!\u201d when really I just don\u2019t want to make it. But if you order water instead of another drink, suddenly we do have what you originally wanted because I don\u2019t want to lose your drink on the bill.<\/p>\n

\u2014Waitress at a casual Mexican restaurant in Manhattan<\/p>\n

What You Don\u2019t Want to Know<\/strong><\/p>\n

5. When I was at one bakery restaurant, they used to make this really yummy peach cobbler in a big tray. A lot of times, servers don\u2019t have time to eat. So we all kept a fork in our aprons, and as we cruised through the kitchen, we\u2019d stick our fork in the cobbler and take a bite. We\u2019d use the same fork each time.<\/p>\n

\u2014Kathy Kniss<\/p>\n

6. If you make a big fuss about sending your soup back because it\u2019s not hot enough, we like to take your spoon and run it under really hot water, so when you put the hot spoon in your mouth, you\u2019re going to get the impression\u2014often the very painful impression\u2014that your soup is indeed hot.<\/p>\n

\u2014Chris<\/p>\n

7. I\u2019ve seen some horrible things done to people\u2019s food: steaks dropped on the floor, butter dipped in the dishwater.<\/p>\n

\u2014Waiter at a casual restaurant in the Chicago area<\/p>\n

What You\u2019re Really Swallowing<\/strong><\/p>\n

8. If your dessert says \u201chomemade,\u201d it probably is. But it might be homemade at a bakery three miles away.<\/p>\n

\u2014Charity Ohlund<\/p>\n

9. I knew one guy\u2014he was a real jerk\u2014he\u2019d go to Costco and buy this gigantic carrot cake for $10 and tell us to say it\u2019s homemade. Then he sold it for $10 a slice.<\/p>\n

Steve Dublanica, veteran New York waiter and author of Waiter Rant: Thanks for the Tip\u2014Confessions of a Cynical Waiter<\/p>\n

What Drives Us Crazy<\/strong><\/p>\n

10. Oh, you needed more water so badly, you had to snap or tap or whistle? I\u2019ll be right back \u2026 in ten minutes.<\/p>\n

\u2014Charity Ohlund<\/p>\n

11. We want you to enjoy yourself while you\u2019re there eating, but when it\u2019s over, you should go. Do you stay in the movie theater after the credits? No.<\/p>\n

\u2014Waiter at a casual restaurant in the Chicago area<\/p>\n

12. My biggest pet peeve? When I walk up to a table of six or seven people and one person decides everyone needs water. I\u2019m making a trip to deliver seven waters, and four or five of them never get touched.<\/p>\n

\u2014Judi Santana, a server for ten years<\/p>\n

What We Want You to Know<\/strong><\/p>\n

13. Sometimes, if you\u2019ve been especially nice to me, I\u2019ll tell the bartender, \u201cGive me a frozen margarita, and don\u2019t put it in.\u201d That totally gyps the company, but it helps me because you\u2019ll give it back to me in tips, and the management won\u2019t know the difference.<\/p>\n

\u2014Waitress at a casual Mexican restaurant in Manhattan<\/p>\n

14. If you\u2019re having a disagreement over dinner and all of a sudden other servers come by to refill your water or clear your plates, or you notice a server slowly refilling the salt and pepper shakers at the table next to yours, assume that we\u2019re listening.<\/p>\n

\u2014Charity Ohlund<\/p>\n

What Tells Us You\u2019re Trouble<\/p>\n

<\/strong>15. I get this call all the time: \u201cIs the chef there? This is so-and-so. I\u2019m a good friend of his.\u201d If you\u2019re his good friend, you\u2019d have his cell.<\/p>\n

\u2014Chris<\/p>\n

16. The strangest thing I\u2019ve seen lately? A man with a prosthetic arm asked me to coat check it because the table was a little bit crowded. He just removed his arm and handed it to me: \u201cCan you take this?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u2014Christopher Fehlinger<\/p>\n

17. We always check the reservation book, scan the names, and hope for someone recognizable. I\u2019m happy if the notes say something like \u201cPrevious number of reservations: 92.\u201d If they say something like \u201cFirst-time guest, celebrating Grandma\u2019s 80th birthday, need two high chairs, split checks, gluten allergy,\u201d then I start rummaging through my pockets for a crisp bill for the hostess and I make sure to tell her how much I love her hair fixed like that.<\/p>\n

\u2014Charity Ohlund<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

How to Be a Good Customer<\/p>\n

<\/strong>18. Use your waiter\u2019s name. When I say, \u201cHi, my name is JR, and I\u2019ll be taking care of you,\u201d it\u2019s great when you say, \u201cHi, JR. How are you doing tonight?\u201d Then, the next time you go in, ask for that waiter. He may not remember you, but if you requested him, he\u2019s going to give you really special service.<\/p>\n

\u2014JR, waiter at a fine-dining restaurant and author of the blogservernotslave.wordpress.com<\/a><\/p>\n

19. Trust your waitress. Say something like \u201cHey, it\u2019s our first time in. We want you to create an experience for us. Here\u2019s our budget.\u201d Your server will go crazy for you.<\/p>\n

\u2014 Charity Ohlund\u00a0<\/p>\n

What You Need to Know About Tipping<\/p>\n

<\/strong>20. If you walk out with the slip you wrote the tip on and leave behind the blank one, the server gets nothing. It happens all the time, especially with people who\u2019ve had a few bottles of wine.<\/p>\n

\u2014Judi Santana<\/p>\n

21. If you say, \u201cDon\u2019t worry\u2014I\u2019m a really good tipper,\u201d that always means you aren\u2019t.<\/p>\n

\u2014Chris<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

What Else We\u2019d Like You to Know<\/p>\n

<\/strong>22. When you say, \u201cI\u2019ll have the pasta Alfredo,\u201d it tells me two things: You aren\u2019t interested in trying new things, and you don\u2019t eat out much. Restaurants put this dish on their menus because it\u2019s \u201csafe,\u201d it sells, and it\u2019s cheap to make.<\/p>\n

\u2014JR<\/p>\n

23. At one restaurant where I worked, the salads were made up to three days earlier. They were sitting on a tray with a thousand other salads in the refrigerator. The waiters went back, grabbed a plate and some dressing, and handed it to the customer.<\/p>\n

\u2014Jake Blanton<\/p>\n

24. If you don\u2019t like something, don\u2019t muddle your way through it like a martyr and then complain afterward. If you don\u2019t like it, don\u2019t eat it. Send it back and get something else.<\/p>\n

\u2014Christopher Fehlinger\u00a0<\/p>\n

<\/strong><\/p>\n

25. Ask what\u2019s in your smoothie. A lot of restaurants use half-and-half. So you think you\u2019re ordering a healthy strawberry-banana smoothie, but it\u2019s really full of fat.<\/p>\n

\u2014Waitress at a well-known pizza chain<\/p>\n

26. Watch out for what I call the touchdown. That\u2019s when the waiter comes around to refill your water and the pitcher actually touches your glass. If he\u2019s touching all the other glasses with the same pitcher, think about all those germs.<\/p>\n

\u2014Jake Blanton<\/p>\n

27. If you\u2019re having a problem, speak to the owner if you can. Managers may have very little power. They\u2019re less likely to comp a meal, and most aren\u2019t authorized to give away free alcohol. They\u2019ll also take it out on the server if you have problems.<\/p>\n

\u2014Kathy Kniss<\/p>\n

28. If you\u2019re worried about cleanliness, check out the bathroom. If the bathroom is gross, you can be sure the kitchen is much worse.<\/p>\n

\u2014Waitress at a well-known pizza chain<\/p>\n

29. When I\u2019m hiring, I always look for someone who\u2019s spent some time as a waiter. What I learned waiting tables was far more valuable than anything I learned in college as far as how to interact with the human race.<\/p>\n

\u2014Jim Sheehan, former stockbroker and waiter who now owns a successful IT consulting firm<\/p>\n

30. Once on Mother\u2019s Day, this older lady came in alone and told me that her kids weren\u2019t able to be with her that year, but they had mailed her a gift card. So I told my manager that we had to make this an exceptional experience for her. I told her to come back with a friend some time and use her gift card because tonight, her meal was on us. We comped her dinner, and I sat with her through dessert while she told me about her kids. My coworkers were happy to cover my other tables for 15 minutes. The woman told me she would remember that dinner forever.<\/p>\n

\u2014Melissa McCracken, longtime waitress in Hawaii\u00a0<\/p>\n

RESTAURANT LINGO<\/p>\n

Drive-by: <\/strong>Finding an excuse, such as refilling the water glasses or clearing plates, to stop by a particular table. \u201cYou\u2019ve got to do a drive-by on the woman at table 22. She\u2019s hot.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n

Upsell: <\/strong>Swaying diners to order more than they normally would or to order a higher-priced item, driving up the bill and hence the tip. Customer: \u201cI\u2019d like a gin and tonic, please.\u201d Waiter: \u201cBombay Sapphire?\u201d<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Camper: <\/strong>A diner who hangs around too long after he\u2019s eaten. Restaurants typically allot about 50 minutes for lunch and up to 90 minutes for dinner, depending on the type of restaurant. You can make up for camping by leaving a bigger tip.\u00a0<\/p>\n

THINK TWICE ABOUT BEING RUDE TO YOUR WAITER<\/p>\n

<\/strong>Many CEOs say the way a potential employee treats a waiter offers insight into that person\u2019s character and ability to lead, according to an article in USA Today. And a 2005 survey of 2,500 members of It\u2019s Just Lunch, a dating service for professionals, found that being rude to waiters ranked No. 1 as the worst in dining etiquette, at 52 percent, way ahead of blowing your nose at the table, at 35.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

CHECK, PLEASE<\/p>\n

<\/strong>Studies indicate that waiters can boost their tips by:<\/p>\n

\u2022 lightly touching the customer<\/p>\n

\u2022 crouching next to the table<\/p>\n

\u2022 introducing themselves by name<\/p>\n

\u2022 and\u2014believe it or not\u2014drawing a smiley face on the check<\/p>\n

\u2014Source: Cornell University tipping expert Michael Lynn\u00a0<\/p>\n

SUREFIRE STEREOTYPES<\/p>\n

<\/strong>In a weekly blog called \u201cIn the Weeds\u201d for\u00a0frothygirlz.com<\/a>, Kansas City waitress Charity Ohlund describes her favorite customer stereotypes:<\/p>\n

1. If you are a pack of females, you want separate checks. And I don\u2019t mean split evenly by the number of people. I mean split down to the exact number of Diet Cokes with lime each person consumed. And if eight gals order a $14 appetizer to share, that needs to be split into $1.75 each. If you are a pack of females over age 55, I\u2019m near tears. You want all of the above, plus you\u2019re going to complain about every \u2026 single \u2026 thing.<\/p>\n

2. If you look like you have an eating disorder, you do. Beautifully skinny model types move their food around the plate for two hours, or they devour the whole porterhouse and head to the ladies\u2019 room immediately.<\/p>\n

3. If you have a European accent, you are a horrible tipper. Accent = 10 percent. Always.<\/p>\n

4. If you are a young couple out on a date, you are going to pretend to be torn about what to order when you know and I know it\u2019s going to be the filet (medium well) and mashed potatoes. Split.<\/p>\n

5. If you order a Zinfandel and I ask, \u201cRed or white?\u201d and you look at me with an annoyed face and say, \u201cPink,\u201d I go tell the other servers and we laugh.<\/p>\n

6. If you have a food allergy, you will talk about it in great detail and then each time I set a new plate in front of you, you will ask me if I remembered your food allergy.<\/p>\n

7. If you are a woman who has climbed your way into the higher levels of corporate success and you are hosting a business dinner, you will not tip as well as a corporate man hosting the same style dinner. I don\u2019t know why. Please enlighten me.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Written by Michelle Crouch Two dozen servers reveal the truth about what goes on behind the kitchen doors. What would two dozen servers from across the country tell you if they could get away with it? Well, for starters, when to go out, what not to order, what really happens behind the kitchen\u2019s swinging doors, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1296"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1296"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1296\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1297,"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1296\/revisions\/1297"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1296"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1296"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1296"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}