{"id":1361,"date":"2009-12-26T17:19:32","date_gmt":"2009-12-27T00:19:32","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.bspcn.com\/?p=1361"},"modified":"2009-12-26T17:19:32","modified_gmt":"2009-12-27T00:19:32","slug":"8-gifts-guaranteed-to-collect-dust-after-christmas-day","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/2009\/12\/26\/8-gifts-guaranteed-to-collect-dust-after-christmas-day\/","title":{"rendered":"8 Gifts Guaranteed to Collect Dust After Christmas Day"},"content":{"rendered":"

Written by Jason<\/a><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

We all give or receive Christmas gifts, year after year, that will ultimately be used one or two times before getting boxed up and banished to the attic<\/a> to collect dust for eternity. Many of these items flood Ebay after every Christmas, or show up at a garage sale in the spring so they can collect dust at someone else\u2019s<\/em> house. Some people will even try to exchange them, even though they\u2019re now not only USED pieces of crap, but there\u2019s technically<\/em> nothing wrong with them to begin with. It\u2019s not that we don\u2019t like these gifts or the thoughtfulness behind them \u2014 quite the opposite in in fact \u2014 we\u2019re excited<\/em> about these presents. Unfortunately that excitement wears off the moment they start becoming a pain in the ass to use or clean. This usually happens before we ring in the new year.<\/p>\n

Breadmaker<\/h2>\n

\"breadmaker\"<\/p>\n

Banana bread is awesome for a couple days. Beyond that, this thing is just going to take up counter space in the kitchen. You\u2019re not going to bake your own bread every day, no matter how easy<\/em> it might be with an automatic breadmaker. Don\u2019t kid yourself.<\/p>\n

Disc Washer\/ Scratch Repair Thing<\/h2>\n

\"disc<\/p>\n

Do these even work? And can\u2019t you just wash a disc with dish soap or rub it with a little Brasso or toothpaste to fix it anyway?<\/p>\n

Fondue Set<\/h2>\n

\"fondue\"<\/p>\n

Oh yay, fondue. We love chocolate fountains and melted cheese. Have you ever tried to clean one of these things? Even Goodwill is going to give you dirty looks if you try to donate this thing. Box it up immediately.<\/p>\n

Any Board Game<\/h2>\n

\"board<\/p>\n

After all the Christmas get-togethers are over, who\u2019s going to have the time to sit around and play these games? It\u2019s also almost a guarantee that some of the many game pieces will be immediately lost. It\u2019s back to the normal grind on January 2 and what\u2019s left of the board games will be shuttled up to the attic with the holiday decorations.<\/p>\n

Miscellaneous Organizers<\/h2>\n

\"organizers\"<\/p>\n

We usually get these from well meaning relatives who want us to get our shit together. It\u2019s not happening. It didn\u2019t last year, or the year before and it\u2019s not likely to at any point in the future unless they also want to hire you a maid to clean and put the organizer to use \u2014 and to reorganize for you after you clutter things up again.<\/p>\n

Keyboard Vac<\/h2>\n

\"keyboard<\/p>\n

Okay, these things are ridiculous pieces of shit<\/a>, but nobody really knows that until after they buy them. A really clean keyboard is nice, but these things have less sucking power than your best friend\u2019s sister, and it\u2019s easier to just flip your keyboard or laptop over and beat the back of it than to try to get a keyboard vac to extract even the tiniest particle from it. Take our word for it. These don\u2019t usually get the chance to collect dust though, at least mine didn\u2019t. It went straight into the garbage.<\/p>\n

Foot Spa<\/h2>\n

\"foot<\/p>\n

I have several in my attic, and a couple more are in my mom\u2019s attic. It\u2019s not exactly fun lugging water into the living room to put into one of these things \u2014 not to mention lugging the thing full of feetwater to the bathroom to dump it when you\u2019re done. Additionally, the noises made by your foot spa are usually about as relaxing as listening to your roommate\u2019s stomach problems after a long night of partying.<\/p>\n

Chair Massager<\/h2>\n

\"chair<\/p>\n

These are loud and annoying unless you spend $300 on one, and even then it\u2019s pretty iffy. Massages may feel great, but when you\u2019re being kneaded by a robotic chair mat, don\u2019t count on it hitting just the right spots like an actual person might. Instead, just go see the girls over at Madam Camae\u2019s Filipino Palace.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Written by Jason We all give or receive Christmas gifts, year after year, that will ultimately be used one or two times before getting boxed up and banished to the attic to collect dust for eternity. Many of these items flood Ebay after every Christmas, or show up at a garage sale in the spring […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1361"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1361"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1361\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1363,"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1361\/revisions\/1363"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1361"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1361"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1361"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}