{"id":1392,"date":"2010-01-05T22:16:21","date_gmt":"2010-01-06T05:16:21","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.bspcn.com\/?p=1392"},"modified":"2010-01-05T22:16:21","modified_gmt":"2010-01-06T05:16:21","slug":"5-types-of-people-youll-meet-at-ikea","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/2010\/01\/05\/5-types-of-people-youll-meet-at-ikea\/","title":{"rendered":"5 Types of People You’ll Meet at IKEA"},"content":{"rendered":"

Written by Jason<\/a><\/p>\n

Not long ago I found myself making my first ever solo journey to IKEA.\u00a0 Soon after making it through the entrance I was surprised to see the many similarities our modern culture shares with the ancient Romans.<\/p>\n

\"Gladiator\"<\/p>\n

IKEA is incredibly intimidating.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve ever gotten lost in a supermarket as a toddler, you\u2019ll know what this feels like.\u00a0 The first thing you will try to do is find your mom\u2019s hand.\u00a0 However, once you realize that you\u2019re alone, panic will begin to set in.\u00a0 Today we\u2019re going to give you a run down of the 5 types of people you\u2019ll more than likely cross paths with while you\u2019re lost and wandering around this hell hole for several hours.<\/p>\n

The Mother of 3<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"mom-and-kids-shingwedz <\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/strong><\/p>\n

Armed with a stroller, a hand bag, and three screaming kids this woman is probably the most dangerous person in IKEA. <\/strong>Lack of English skills and funds won\u2019t stop this young lady from her goal of finding a new bedroom set\/playpen combo.\u00a0 Unfortunately she\u2019ll learn that bartering doesn\u2019t work so well in this country, and will \/ragequit out of the store at an even faster pace than she entered.<\/p>\n

The Boyfriend Who Is Being Forced <\/strong><\/p>\n

\"baby43\" <\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/strong><\/p>\n

The hardest thing about being a loyal boyfriend is the amount of ultimatums you\u2019re eventually hit with. Let\u2019s look at a quick example.<\/p>\n

\u201cGet rid of that nasty jersey\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut honey I like it\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCool, no sex for you\u201d<\/p>\n

The boyfriend who was forced to shop at IKEA with his GF is in pure misery.\u00a0 His facial expression matches that of a dog which has just been roughed over pretty hard, but didn\u2019t quite die.\u00a0 He\u2019s sort of just waddling around with that \u201cplease shoot me\u201d look in his eyes, all while contemplating if his old lady is worth the agony.<\/p>\n

The Husband Who Was Lied To<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"depressed <\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/strong><\/p>\n

The deceived husband was told that they were shopping for a TV stand and some racks for his power tools, but ended up in the bathroom section looking at the daffodil curtains that his wife waved in front of his face.\u00a0 The defeated husband will teeter on the border of depression and rage until he drinks his pain away watching the late game on ESPN.<\/p>\n

The Old Man<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"old <\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/strong><\/p>\n

This guy is freshly retired and really doesn\u2019t know what to do with all of his free time.\u00a0 He\u2019ll make several trips to this store for the breakfast specials alone.\u00a0 After that he\u2019ll sort of walk around aimlessly and try to find a way to be helpful.\u00a0 He can usually tell you more about the product you\u2019re looking at than the actual employees.<\/p>\n

The Young Couple<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"bf<\/strong><\/p>\n

The young couple has just made a big step in their relationship.\u00a0 This pair of lovebirds is made up of one eager girl and one terrified guy.\u00a0 While she is tugging at his hand, dreaming of a cozy living room and the possibility of babies, he is slowly feeling his hopes and dreams fade away.\u00a0 The whole scene resembles something you\u2019d see on \u201cCrocodile Hunter.\u201d\u00a0 At first the croc will splash around being wild and dangerous, but once Steve Erwin is able to clamp those jaws shut, he pretty much just sits around in misery waiting for it to end.<\/p>\n

Conclusion:<\/strong> IKEA has a website, I\u2019d recommend using it rather than making a personal appearance.\u00a0 Seriously, a small piece of you will die.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Written by Jason Not long ago I found myself making my first ever solo journey to IKEA.\u00a0 Soon after making it through the entrance I was surprised to see the many similarities our modern culture shares with the ancient Romans. IKEA is incredibly intimidating.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve ever gotten lost in a supermarket as a toddler, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1392"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1392"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1392\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1393,"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1392\/revisions\/1393"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1392"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1392"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1392"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}