Salma Rumman<\/a><\/p>\n<\/p>\n
1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can?t smoke any of them.<\/p>\n
2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.<\/p>\n
3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.<\/p>\n
4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.<\/p>\n
5. You hear your favorite song in an elevator.<\/p>\n
6. You watch the Weather Channel.<\/p>\n
7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of ?hook up? and ?breakup.?<\/p>\n
8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.<\/p>\n
9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as ?dressed up.?<\/p>\n
10. You?re the one calling the police because those %&@# kids next door won?t turn down the stereo.<\/p>\n
11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.<\/p>\n
12. You don?t know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.<\/p>\n
13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.<\/p>\n
14. You feed your dog ?Science Diet? instead of McDonald?s leftovers.<\/p>\n
15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.<\/p>\n
16. You take naps.<\/p>\n
17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.<\/p>\n
18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at three in the morning would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.<\/p>\n
19. You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests.<\/p>\n
20. A four dollar bottle of wine is no longer ?pretty good shit.?<\/p>\n
21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.<\/p>\n
22. ?I just can?t drink the way I used to? replaces ?I?m never going to drink that much again.?<\/p>\n
23. Ninety percent of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.<\/p>\n
24. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar.<\/p>\n
25. When you find out your friend is pregnant you congratulate them instead of asking ?Oh shit what the hell happened??<\/p>\n
Bonus:<\/p>\n
26: You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that it doesn?t apply to you and can?t find one to save your sorry old ass.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Written by Salma Rumman 1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can?t smoke any of them. 2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question. 3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge. 4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed. 5. You hear […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/161"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=161"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/161\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=161"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=161"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=161"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}