{"id":1694,"date":"2010-04-22T13:03:24","date_gmt":"2010-04-22T20:03:24","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.bspcn.com\/?p=1694"},"modified":"2010-04-22T13:03:24","modified_gmt":"2010-04-22T20:03:24","slug":"1000-things-you-dont-know-about-women","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/2010\/04\/22\/1000-things-you-dont-know-about-women\/","title":{"rendered":"1,000 Things You Don’t Know About Women"},"content":{"rendered":"

Written by esquire<\/a><\/p>\n

We asked the women in our lives to share their secrets about sex, relationships, and what we’ve been doing wrong (and right) all these years. Check out the first 100 responses below, a bunch more in Esquire’s all-new issue devoted to women<\/a>, and yet more advice right here every week.<\/p>\n

\"woman<\/p>\n

No. 306:<\/strong> Don’t pretend we don’t tell you when something’s wrong. Come on now. Increased chocolate intake. Foot tapping. Crossed arms. Tears during a Hallmark commercial. We’ve said all we need to. Tell us we look even skinnier than usual. And then get us a glass of Sancerre. \u2014Kirsten Hall, 35, New York<\/em><\/p>\n

No. 79:<\/strong> We love to hear we are beautiful. Breaking it down into specifics is even better. \u2014Christine Siltanen, 28, Portland, Oregon<\/em><\/p>\n

No. 10:<\/strong> Anything but roses. Think about it. We’ve mentioned our favorite flower more than once. If you can’t remember, go with a lily. \u2014Rhiannon Falzone, 25, Chicago<\/em><\/p>\n

No. 512:<\/strong> We’re not always aware of our breasts. If we happen to brush up against you, we’re not necessarily coming on to you. Sometimes we are. But it’s not a given. \u2014Nicole French, 37, Denver, Colorado<\/em><\/p>\n

No. 87:<\/strong> Women can tell if you’re wearing clothes that were given to you by your mother. They all have that “I used to wear essentially the same shirt when I was eight” look. This isn’t awful if done occasionally, but when that’s your daily head-to-toe, it sends a questionable message. \u2014Kimberly Ryan, 25, Tucson<\/em><\/p>\n

No. 492:<\/strong> We don’t expect you to read our minds. We expect you to ask. \u2014Kelly Viets, 20, Newport News, Virginia<\/em><\/p>\n

No. 19:<\/strong> We remember if you told us you would call us tomorrow, so if you don’t mean tomorrow, say “soon.” No woman will ever hold it against you if you call when you say you will, and we always notice when you don’t. \u2014Roxanna Elden, 30, Miami<\/em><\/p>\n

No. 284:<\/strong> We want you to have your “guy time.” In fact, if you don’t have a great group of men to hang around, it’s a turn-off. \u2014Whitney Webb, 22, Blacksburg, Virginia<\/em><\/p>\n

No. 67:<\/strong> Women in their mid-thirties have to do everything for ourselves \u2014 drive our careers, pay the mortgage, fix broken appliances, assemble furniture. The only place we don’t have to do it ourselves is in the bedroom. For that one small slice of the day, we’ll actually give up control and let someone else own us. So, own us. \u2014Suzanne Casamento, 28, Los Angeles<\/em><\/p>\n

No. 413:<\/strong> Asking “are you ticklish” as an excuse to touch a woman for the first time is not appropriate past the age of 17. \u2014Claire Serxner, 25, Houston<\/em><\/p>\n

No. 706:<\/strong> Why do you spell “you” as “u” in a text? Spell it out. Is it really that hard? \u2014Becky Ellis, 32, New York<\/em><\/p>\n

No. 511:<\/strong> It freaks us out when you put a t-shirt on after sex but walk around without boxers. It’s not becoming. \u2014Molly Rosen, 31, Writer, Chicago<\/em><\/p>\n

No. 99:<\/strong> If you tell us you love us during sex, it will only confuse us. We won’t know whether the sentiment is genuine or blurted out in the heat of passion. If you mean it and want to tell us, wait until we’re fully clothed and you’re fully sober. \u2014Devon Brooke Clasen, 31, Las Vegas<\/em><\/p>\n

No. 184:<\/strong> You have our interest if you pick us up in a convertible. You have our hearts if there is a hair tie and\/or brush in the car. \u2014Beth Hurtubise, 26, Chicago<\/em><\/p>\n

No. 73:<\/strong> Thongs are uncomfortable. \u2014Ingrid Castillo, 22, Miami<\/em><\/p>\n

No. 661:<\/strong> Never pinch the muffin-top. This is grounds for execution. \u2014Catlin Moore, 24, Long Beach, California<\/em><\/p>\n

No. 930:<\/strong> We only have two to three bras that we alternate. We tell you we just have a bunch of the same one. Lies! \u2014Jane Marie Solomon, 23, Austin, Texas<\/em><\/p>\n

No. 723:<\/strong> Sometimes we wear our bathing suits when we run out of underwear. \u2014Brenna Ehrlich, 25, Brooklyn<\/em><\/p>\n

\"woman<\/p>\n

No. 25:<\/strong> When we ask you to be honest, and your honest response is something you know we will be upset about, fib just a little. But only because you love us. \u2014Kelly Heintz, 23, Fresno, California<\/em><\/p>\n

No. 550:<\/strong> As much as we want to say that looks don’t matter, they are a big part of first impressions. Physical attraction gets the door open, but pretty much from there, it really is your personality that will carry you. \u2014Lauren Hesser, 25, St. Louis<\/em><\/p>\n

No. 74:<\/strong> It goes movie, then dinner. That way we don’t have to rush. We have time for dessert. \u2014Tawnia Mayhugh, 34, Yakima, Washington<\/em><\/p>\n

No. 800:<\/strong> We know it’s called the pinch and roll. \u2014Laura Moss, 22, San Diego, California<\/em><\/p>\n

No. 37:<\/strong> More back massages. \u2014Shannon Little, 23, Memphis<\/em><\/p>\n

No. 129:<\/strong> When we walk into a room we notice which women you’d sleep with before you do. \u2014Rachael Candee, 24, Iowa City, Iowa<\/em><\/p>\n

No. 76:<\/strong> I only like football because of the pants. \u2014Sondra Gavaldon, 28, Brooklyn<\/em><\/p>\n

No. 864:<\/strong> Men always wonder what women want. We won’t admit it, but we wonder the same exact thing. \u2014Mei Christensen, 21, Charlottesville, Virginia<\/em><\/p>\n

No. 418:<\/strong> It’s okay to tear up at the end of the World Series. It’s not okay during American Idol<\/em>. \u2014Lorelei Donaldson, 23, Columbia, Missouri<\/em><\/p>\n

No. 101:<\/strong> Pizza and beer only counts as “date night” once every two months. \u2014Taylor Rausch, 23, Columbia, Missouri<\/em><\/p>\n

No. 54:<\/strong> It’s okay if you want to watch Steel Magnolias<\/em> with us. But if you cry harder than we do when Shelby dies, you are going to have to start answering some questions. \u2014Kelsey Allen, 21, Columbia, Missouri<\/em><\/p>\n

No. 476:<\/strong> If you have more shoes than we do, that’s a deal breaker. And yes, sneakers count. \u2014Nina Fortuna, 25, New York<\/em><\/p>\n

No. 68:<\/strong> We nag because we care. \u2014Luce Melendez, 22, New York<\/em><\/p>\n

No. 302:<\/strong> Don’t try to feed me. I’m not an infant and it’s not romantic. \u2014Katie Dinardo, 23, Brooklyn<\/em><\/p>\n

No. 554:<\/strong> Women don’t get mad at you because they have PMS. They get mad at you because you’re being an idiot. \u2014Hannah Rosengren,19, Beverly, Massachusetts<\/em><\/p>\n

No. 13:<\/strong> Buying lingerie for your girlfriend is like buying a present for yourself. If she’s showing you her undies, chances are you’ll be removing them. Assess your priorities, sir. \u2014Stephanie Hoos, 23, New York<\/em><\/p>\n

No. 293:<\/strong> There’s nothing more unappealing than a man being indecisive. Unless he’s being indecisive between bouts of crying. \u2014Katy Steinmetz, 25, Washington, D.C.<\/em><\/p>\n

No. 111:<\/strong> When you offer to pay for something and we refuse, insist one more time. Always insist. \u2014Cristina Luiggi, 24, New York<\/em><\/p>\n

No. 767:<\/strong> We are afraid of spiders and bees, yet hot wax ripped from very sensitive areas we seem to be okay with. \u2014Taylor McGraw, 20, Oxford, Mississippi<\/em><\/p>\n

\"woman<\/p>\n

No. 66:<\/strong> Things we don’t appreciate: hematomas in the form of hickeys. \u2014Katie Sanders, 20, Newton, Massachusetts<\/em><\/p>\n

No. 14:<\/strong> Chivalry, within reason. Holding the door for us? Yes. Ordering for us? No. Unless your date can’t read. \u2014Jessica Goldstein, 21, Philadelphia<\/em><\/p>\n

No. 81:<\/strong> Romance is relative. I will always hold a deep affection for the man who built a shower in my studio apartment as a surprise. Think outside of the box and become immortal. \u2014Suzanne Fortin, 31, Missoula, Montana<\/em><\/p>\n

No. 912:<\/strong> We are manipulative beasts. Call us on it from time to time, just not all the time. \u2014Lisa Huber, 38, Teutopolis, Illinois<\/em><\/p>\n

No. 9:<\/strong> Cook for us and you’ll get laid at the end of the evening. Clean up the mess you made cooking and you’ll get better sex than when you turned off the television in the middle of an “important” game. \u2014Judith Brodnicki, 50, Omaha<\/em><\/p>\n

No. 444:<\/strong> No man ever talked a woman into sex. Ninety-nine percent of the time, a woman knows she is going to have sex when she walks out the door. Men can only talk themselves out of it. \u2014Pat Lieske, 46, Los Angeles<\/em><\/p>\n

No. 316:<\/strong> At the end of a first date, just call us the next day if you liked us. You can wait three days if you want, but it will only piss us off. \u2014Wynne Kontos, 21, Lafayette, Indiana<\/em><\/p>\n

No. 107:<\/strong> When we point out something sweet we saw another guy do, we want you to do it for us, too. Obviously. \u2014Ashley Graf, 20, Utica, New York<\/em><\/p>\n

No. 222:<\/strong> Don’t tell us you’re on a low-carb diet when you take us out to dinner. That’s why we’re not out with our girlfriends. \u2014Leila Gheit, 28, Jackson Heights, New York<\/em><\/p>\n

No. 716:<\/strong> No need to pretend it’s more comfortable to sleep spooning. We just want to sleep like we always do, and we’ll see you in the morning. \u2014Ileana Morales, 21, Gainesville, Florida<\/em><\/p>\n

No. 300:<\/strong> A plunger for our place will never be a good gift. \u2014Carrie Dienhart, 34, Kansas City, Missouri<\/em><\/p>\n

No. 75:<\/strong> Most women’s version of the perfect man is some combination of James Bond, Prince Charming, and George Clooney. This, luckily for you, is a man who would terrify us in real life. \u2014Erica Anderson, 30, Chicago<\/em><\/p>\n

No. 60:<\/strong> Never use fabric softener when you launder towels. It ruins their absorbency. When we’re visiting, we want thick, fluffy, absorbent towels. And we want them to be some version of white. Just a tip. \u2014Stephanie Shaughnessy, 41, Pittsburgh<\/em><\/p>\n

No. 733:<\/strong> We have several tools at our disposal to keep us from having sex with you before we are ready \u2014 wearing granny panties and not shaving are two of the strongest weapons in our arsenal. If the first time you have sex with us we are unkempt and wearing huge briefs, you must have crazy animal magnetism, or we are very drunk. \u2014Heather Ericson, 32, Barre, Massachusetts<\/em><\/p>\n

No. 51:<\/strong> Joking about your penis size makes us feel uncomfortable every time. Every. Time. \u2014Krista Iovino, 32, New York<\/em><\/p>\n

No. 56:<\/strong> We love having our layers taken off one at a time and eagerly anticipate you noticing the new lingerie we’ve been enduring all night. \u2014Staci Brinkman, 27, Dallas<\/em><\/p>\n

No. 208:<\/strong> S-l-o-o-o-w d-o-o-o-w-n-n-n. \u2014Melinda Meggyesy, 31, Seattle<\/em><\/p>\n

No. 643:<\/strong> Never hang up first. \u2014Renee Taylor, 22, St. Catharines, Ontario, Canada<\/em><\/p>\n

No. 382:<\/strong> Old Spice High Endurance Pure Sport. \u2014Sarah June Renschler, 30, New York City<\/em><\/p>\n

No. 21:<\/strong> Men drink coffee, not skinny double-pump soy macchiatos. Ordering the latter doesn’t impress us; it makes us wonder if you’d rather be double-pumping your buddy Todd. \u2014Kt McBratney, 27, Omaha<\/em><\/p>\n

No. 310:<\/strong> If we freak out over baby shoes, it doesn’t necessarily mean we want a baby. There’s just something about baby shoes. Women. Love. Baby shoes. \u2014Stephanie Weir, 29, St. Louis<\/em><\/p>\n

\"two<\/p>\n

No. 85:<\/strong> Women hate when men talk badly about their friends. No matter how bad a friend they are, be supportive. Listen to the drama without being too opinionated. That what we do. \u2014Danielle Scotti, 23, Pittsburgh<\/em><\/p>\n

No. 622:<\/strong> When we say we don’t want flowers, we really want you to secretly ask our friends or search our Web history to find out what our favorite kind of flower is without us knowing so we’re “surprised” when you hit the nail on the head. \u2014Meredith Blake Matthews, 26, Pittsburgh<\/em><\/p>\n

No. 403:<\/strong> You should be able to do anything Bob Vila can. Or that HGTV makes happen in a 30-minute episode. \u2014Jennifer Davidick, 30, Hazleton, Pennsylvania<\/em><\/p>\n

No. 210:<\/strong> Even feminists want kitchens with stainless steel appliances. \u2014Rachel Baron, 26, Chicago<\/em><\/p>\n

No. 517:<\/strong> When we ask you how we look, we are really saying, “I am needy, please validate me. Please tell me I’m pretty. Please tell me you don’t regret loving me.” \u2014Michele Pepio, 35, Staten Island, New York<\/em><\/p>\n

No. 209:<\/strong> When you agree to take yoga with us, it’s endearing. But endearing never got anybody laid. \u2014Ainsley Drew Nelson, 28, New York<\/em><\/p>\n

No. 235:<\/strong> If I see you treat waitstaff or cashiers poorly, I will probably never touch your penis. \u2014Rachel Giuliani, 27, Brooklyn<\/em><\/p>\n

No. 929:<\/strong> You should be more concerned when I stop thinking your jokes are funny than with how often I want to have sex. \u2014Elizabeth Oporto, 26, Merrick, New York<\/em><\/p>\n

No. 867:<\/strong> We think at least two of your friends are hot. \u2014Lauren Cusimano, 24, Phoenix<\/em><\/p>\n

No. 430:<\/strong> I remember staying over at my parents’ house with my boyfriend while we were in town for a wedding. As we were falling asleep, he said, “I like our bed better.” I replied that it was more comfortable. His response was, “Yeah, and it’s ours.” At that moment, our relationship became real. “Ours” is a powerful word. \u2014Sarah Godumski, 29, Pocono Summit, Pennsylvania<\/em><\/p>\n

No. 321:<\/strong> When I say, “that feels good,” it doesn’t mean go faster and harder. It means to keep doing that. \u2014Stacey Whiteley, 40, Albany, New York<\/em><\/p>\n

No. 883:<\/strong> We think guys who call every day and don’t ask us out are playing hard to get. Come on, collections-department guy! \u2014Yahaira Ulloa, 28, Elmwood Park, New Jersey<\/em><\/p>\n

No. 38:<\/strong> Sometimes we bring you to dinners, parties, and events just to be able to say, “That one is mine.” Remember that. \u2014Janice Tsai, 30, Sacramento<\/em><\/p>\n

No. 109:<\/strong> Your foot rubbing against our leg when we’re sound asleep does not constitute foreplay. Nor does “Hey, you awake?” \u2014Shannon Ingram, 58, Mission Viejo, California<\/em><\/p>\n

No. 21:<\/strong> We understand the World Cup too. \u2014Erin Dowding, 34, Brooklyn<\/em><\/p>\n

No. 223:<\/strong> We know we snore sometimes. Don’t ever tell us when we do. \u2014Eva Meszaros, 25, Brooklyn<\/em><\/p>\n

No. 450:<\/strong> Yes, I saw Braveheart<\/em>, and it’s one of my favorite movies too. \u2014Allie Nordby, 20, Los Angeles<\/em><\/p>\n

No. 999:<\/strong> We really don’t like your skinny jeans. \u2014Yoakova Franklin, 20, Great Neck<\/em><\/p>\n

No. 59:<\/strong> If you’re going to be a backseat driver, be absolutely freaking sure you know where you’re going. \u2014Carolyn Morgan, 33, Irvine, California<\/em><\/p>\n

No. 2:<\/strong> We don’t want to see your feet while we’re having sex. \u2014Sarah O’Connell, 18, New York<\/em><\/p>\n

No. 43:<\/strong> We want you to look nice, but please don’t spend more time getting ready than we do. \u2014Rose-Marie Larsson, 20, Goteborg, Sweden<\/em><\/p>\n

No. 607:<\/strong> We are the same human being with makeup and without it. \u2014Alix Stoll, 52, Levittown, New York<\/em><\/p>\n

No. 684:<\/strong> Using a GPS is not a sign of weakness. \u2014Marianne Towersey, 59, Pebble Beach, California<\/em><\/p>\n

No. 326:<\/strong> Hats don’t conceal the fact that you’re balding. They only delay the point at which we come to terms with it. \u2014Lindsay Coluccio, 33, Newport Beach, California<\/em><\/p>\n

No. 445:<\/strong> We are judging your outfit, whether silently or not, from head to toe, right this very moment. \u2014Jodie Love, 25, Brooklyn<\/em><\/p>\n

\"woman<\/p>\n

No. 477:<\/strong> Men don’t know how much we really eat. Really. \u2014Natalia Angel, 22, London<\/em><\/p>\n

No. 660:<\/strong> Don’t ask me why my Stella is in a wine glass. It’s not. Get your beers straight. \u2014Leigh Metherell, 22, Brooklyn<\/em><\/p>\n

No. 908:<\/strong> Despite what we say, you holding a baby with complete confidence is an absolute aphrodisiac. Put the baby down and come touch me. \u2014Jennifer Trinh, 24, Irvine, California<\/em><\/p>\n

No. 220:<\/strong> We may say we enjoy watching Top Gear<\/em> or the Lakers, but really more than anything we enjoy seeing how teaching us about Top Gear<\/em> and the Lakers boosts your confidence. \u2014Courtney Harper, 23, Sherman Oaks, California<\/em><\/p>\n

No. 47:<\/strong> Never. Wear. Neon. \u2014Carolynn Johnson, 26, Brooklyn<\/em><\/p>\n

No. 732:<\/strong> We’ll take nice forearms over six-pack abs any day. \u2014Jennie Engelhardt, 26, New York<\/em><\/p>\n

No. 22:<\/strong> Turning into our mothers is an inevitable fear we live with on a daily basis. Calling this to our attention at any point is a terrible idea. Just don’t do it. \u2014Maura E. McGill, 29, New York<\/em><\/p>\n

No. 18:<\/strong> Sometimes we just complain about our periods so you’ll leave us alone. \u2014Kt McBratney, 27, Omaha<\/em><\/p>\n

No. 388:<\/strong> If you ask for our number a second time and we don’t give it to you, there’s a good chance we can’t remember the first number we gave you. \u2014Megan McDonnell, 30, Los Angeles<\/em><\/p>\n

No. 314:<\/strong> Don’t try to figure out what will make us happy. We have been trying to get to the bottom of that mystery since the beginning of time and we have no clue either. \u2014Michele Pepio, 35, Staten Island, New York<\/em><\/p>\n

No. 497:<\/strong> We like whiskey. And beer. \u2014Maura E. McGill, 29, New York<\/em><\/p>\n

No. 730:<\/strong> We find it creepy when your fingernails are longer and\/or shinier than ours. You may get a manicure, but don’t admit it, and don’t enjoy it. \u2014Eva Meszaros, 25, Brooklyn<\/em><\/p>\n

No. 642:<\/strong> Men see what women do, but they never know what women think while they are doing it. \u2014Verena Michaeler, 18, Brixen, Italy<\/em><\/p>\n

No. 297:<\/strong> We pee in the shower. There is a drain and running water. Why not? \u2014Valerie Vaughan, 51, Denver<\/em><\/p>\n

No. 616:<\/strong> If you stop with the compliments, then so might our efforts to look as hot as we did when we started dating. Why should we spend time and money that we don’t have in excess when our target audience doesn’t even notice? \u2014Haiyen Chin, 33, Brooklyn<\/em><\/p>\n

No. 644:<\/strong> If we offer you gum, it means we want to kiss you later. It’s not an insult. Just take the gum. \u2014Rhiannon Falzone, 26, Chicago<\/em><\/p>\n

No. 524:<\/strong> That low-cut top \u2014 we wouldn’t wear it if we didn’t want you to look. Just be discrete about it. \u2014Whitney Webb, 22, Blacksburg, Virginia<\/em><\/p>\n

All photos courtesy of iStock Photo<\/em><\/p>\n

<\/strong><\/p>\n

Bonus:Squirrel Fights off Crows – Protects Dead Friend’s Body <\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/strong><\/p>\n

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Written by esquire We asked the women in our lives to share their secrets about sex, relationships, and what we’ve been doing wrong (and right) all these years. Check out the first 100 responses below, a bunch more in Esquire’s all-new issue devoted to women, and yet more advice right here every week. No. 306: […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1694"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1694"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1694\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1695,"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1694\/revisions\/1695"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1694"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1694"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1694"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}