{"id":270,"date":"2008-01-21T10:17:34","date_gmt":"2008-01-21T17:17:34","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.bspcn.com\/2008\/01\/21\/if-college-themed-porn-were-real\/"},"modified":"2011-04-11T17:46:18","modified_gmt":"2011-04-12T00:46:18","slug":"if-college-themed-porn-were-real","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/2008\/01\/21\/if-college-themed-porn-were-real\/","title":{"rendered":"If College-Themed Porn Were Real"},"content":{"rendered":"

Written by jake christie<\/a><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Situation One: The Naughty Student
Cindi, an attractive student with a large rack, walks up to the desk of her professor.<\/p>\n

Porn:
Cindi: Is there anything I can do to raise this grade?
Professor: Some students do extra credit work.
Cindi: (has sex with him)<\/p>\n

Reality:
Cindi: Is there anything I can do to raise this grade?
Professor: Some students do extra credit work.
Cindi: Like what?
Professor: A seven- to ten-page report about the economic principles behind trade rules in a Micronesian country of your choosing.
Cindi: Oh. That makes sense and is an appropriate extra credit assignment for the course.<\/p>\n

Situation Two: The Hot Teacher
Paul, a student in his late twenties, walks up to the desk of his teacher, Professor Mandy, who has enormous breasts.<\/p>\n

Porn:
Paul: You wanted to see me after class, professor?
Professor Mandy: Yes. I need to test your performance.
Paul: How?
Professor Mandy: (fellates Paul)<\/p>\n

Reality:
Paul: You wanted to see me after class, professor?
Professor Mandy: Yes. I need to test your performance.
Paul: How?
Professor Mandy: A series of tests based on the material covered in this course.
Paul: Could I just have sex with you instead?
Professor Mandy: (sues Paul)<\/p>\n

Situation Three: The Sorority
Between two and a half-dozen attractive coeds sit on a large bed, in nighties which barely contain their ample bosoms.<\/p>\n

Porn:
Head Sorority Girl: Let’s have a naked pillowfight!
Assistant Head Sorority Girl: And practice kissing!
Sorority Girls: (do those things)<\/p>\n

Reality:
I kind of assume this is what actually happens in sororities.<\/p>\n

Situation Four: The Curious Freshman
A very attractive freshman girl named Candi sits on a bed with her boyfriend, Brett. Did I mention that Candi has boobs the size of overripe grapefruit? She does.<\/p>\n

Porn:
Brett: Let’s try anal sex.
Candi: Okay.<\/p>\n

Reality:
Brett: Let’s try anal sex.
Candi: No.<\/p>\n

Situation Five: The Janitor
A strangely-muscular janitor knocks on the door of Bambi, a girl whose low-cut shirt reveals a veritable explosion of cleavage.<\/p>\n

Porn:
Janitor: Do those pipes need cleaning?
Bambi: (apparently this is all the pillow talk she needs to have all kinds of sex with him)<\/p>\n

Reality:
Janitor: Perhaps I should have stayed in school.
Bambi: I can see how you could be disappointed with your station in life.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Written by jake christie Situation One: The Naughty StudentCindi, an attractive student with a large rack, walks up to the desk of her professor. Porn:Cindi: Is there anything I can do to raise this grade?Professor: Some students do extra credit work.Cindi: (has sex with him) Reality:Cindi: Is there anything I can do to raise this […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/270"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=270"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/270\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3835,"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/270\/revisions\/3835"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=270"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=270"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=270"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}