{"id":429,"date":"2008-06-26T09:58:26","date_gmt":"2008-06-26T16:58:26","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.bspcn.com\/2008\/06\/26\/classic-books-summed-up-in-3-lines-or-less\/"},"modified":"2008-06-26T09:58:26","modified_gmt":"2008-06-26T16:58:26","slug":"classic-books-summed-up-in-3-lines-or-less","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/2008\/06\/26\/classic-books-summed-up-in-3-lines-or-less\/","title":{"rendered":"Classic Books Summed Up in 3 Lines (or Less)"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>Written by <a href=\"http:\/\/mcsweeneys.net\/2008\/6\/16joseph.html\" target=\"_blank\">BEN JOSEPH<\/a><\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/lh6.ggpht.com\/bspcn.com\/SGPKIPhefEI\/AAAAAAAACuo\/5Ka_e2DE65I\/s400\/360px-Open_book_01.jpg\" align=\"right\" height=\"360\" width=\"360\"\/><\/p>\n<p style=\"TEXT-ALIGN: center\"><strong>1984<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>WINSTON: Don&#8217;t tell the Party, but sex is way better than totalitarianism.<\/p>\n<p>EVERYONE: Surprise! We&#8217;re the Party.<\/p>\n<p>WINSTON: Oh, rats.<\/p>\n<p><\/p>\n<p style=\"TEXT-ALIGN: center\"><strong>The Lion, the Witch <\/p>\n<p>and the Wardrobe<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>C.S. LEWIS: Finally, a utopia ruled by children and populated by talking animals.<\/p>\n<p>THE WITCH: Hi, I&#8217;m a sexually mature woman of power and confidence.<\/p>\n<p>C.S. LEWIS: Ah! Kill it, lion Jesus!<\/p>\n<p><\/p>\n<p style=\"TEXT-ALIGN: center\"><strong>Paradise Lost<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>ADAM: Paradise has arbitrary dietary restrictions?<\/p>\n<p>DEVIL: They&#8217;re really more like guidelines.<\/p>\n<p>GOD: Incorrect.<\/p>\n<p><\/p>\n<p style=\"TEXT-ALIGN: center\"><strong>Moby-Dick<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>ISHMAEL: I&#8217;m existential.<\/p>\n<p>AHAB: Really? Try vengeance.<\/p>\n<p>ISHMAEL: I dig this dynamic. Can we drag it out for 600 pages?<\/p>\n<p><\/p>\n<p style=\"TEXT-ALIGN: center\"><strong>The Great Gatsby<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>NICK: I love being rich and white.<\/p>\n<p>GATSBY: Me, too, but I&#8217;d kill for the love of a woman.<\/p>\n<p>DAISY: We can work with that.<\/p>\n<p><\/p>\n<p style=\"TEXT-ALIGN: center\"><strong>Oliver Twist<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>OLIVER: Poverty ain&#8217;t so bad, what with all the Cockney accents and charming musical interludes.<\/p>\n<p>ME: Thanks to movies, no books were read in the passing of this class.<\/p>\n<p>PROFESSOR WATERMAN: You&#8217;re half right.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Written by BEN JOSEPH 1984 WINSTON: Don&#8217;t tell the Party, but sex is way better than totalitarianism. EVERYONE: Surprise! We&#8217;re the Party. WINSTON: Oh, rats. The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe C.S. LEWIS: Finally, a utopia ruled by children and populated by talking animals. THE WITCH: Hi, I&#8217;m a sexually mature woman of power [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/429"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=429"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/429\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=429"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=429"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=429"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}