{"id":484,"date":"2008-08-06T09:33:04","date_gmt":"2008-08-06T16:33:04","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.bspcn.com\/?p=484"},"modified":"2008-08-06T09:33:04","modified_gmt":"2008-08-06T16:33:04","slug":"top-5-popular-womens-styles-men-hate","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/2008\/08\/06\/top-5-popular-womens-styles-men-hate\/","title":{"rendered":"Top 5 Popular Women’s Styles Men Hate"},"content":{"rendered":"

Written by Simon<\/a><\/p>\n

As most men chill on the uncomfortable periphery of fashion, we do develop a strong sense for what we hate on women. And while women do style partly for themselves (\u201dI\u2019m the real me!\u201d) or for their female friends (\u201cSOOOoooOOO GOOD!\u201d<\/A>), a chunk of it\u2019s for guys. Ladies, if you\u2019re listening, please read, and get a clue. Gents, you may or may not agree with this list. If I\u2019m missing any, let me know, and I\u2019ll add them to the post.<\/p>\n

Cheek Piercing<\/H3><\/p>\n

\"cheek-piercing.jpg\"<\/p>\n

Nothing like a fashion statement that looks accidental. You look like you were shrooming in a fun house with a nail gun, and the next morning you just said \u201cfuck it, I\u2019ll keep it.\u201d When you\u2019ve run out of original places to stud your head, don\u2019t go random. That\u2019s like a musician saying \u201cwehhh, all melodies have been done before. I\u2019m gonna play random notes wherever and I\u2019ll be so different I\u2019ll be cool.\u201d You\u2019re not cool.<\/p>\n

Acceptable Alternative:<\/EM><\/STRONG><\/p>\n

Standard piercings, plus, on the right girl, eyebrow ring, or nose ring. Lip ring can work under very particular circumstances. You kinda have to be already hot.<\/p>\n

Giant Sunglasses<\/H3><\/p>\n

\"giant-sunglasses.jpg\"<\/p>\n

At first I just felt bad for you, thinking an extraterrestrial symbiote had taken you as a host. How wrong I was. You may be proud that not the smallest beam in the slightest crack of space will get in your deflector shield eye booth, but you look like a bug on hind legs. A bug!<\/STRONG> The stick thin skin-and-bones body type completes the preying mantis fashion statement. While I do appreciate being able to catch the action behind me thanks to your pair of anti-theft convenience store convex mirrors, I\u2019d rather you just BUZZ OFF. Yep – \u201cbuzz off\u201d.<\/p>\n

Acceptable Alternative:<\/EM><\/STRONG><\/p>\n

Shades can be hot. Like any glasses, you just have to find something that fits your face. The goggles above don\u2019t match any human face.<\/p>\n

Image Source<\/A><\/p>\n

Excessive Foundation<\/H3><\/p>\n

\"foundation.jpg\"<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s the problem: lots of cover up is actually worth covering up. You may think that a pimple mount of height X necessitates a layer of foundation of X + 1 thickness, but really you\u2019ve managed to expand the \u201cproblem area\u201d to your entire face<\/STRONG>. Good luck playing the \u201csuccess through dim lighting\u201d card. You don\u2019t look like porcelain, you look crusty. If you can\u2019t tan, don\u2019t manufacture a layer of grainy fakeskin. Some guys like pale chicks.<\/p>\n

Acceptable Alternative:<\/EM><\/STRONG><\/p>\n

Skin cream. Or, your actual face. The foundation\u2019s not better than nothing.<\/p>\n

Pets as Accessories<\/H3><\/p>\n

\"doggie-accessory.jpg\"<\/p>\n

Living. Creatures. Are. Not. Accessories. While I appreciate, on some level, the pimping out of an otherwise evolutionary abomination into some kind of social use, this is a problem. You have no idea of the statements you make when you walk around with these fashion rats, or the thoughts that go through every guy\u2019s mind. Images of fur and bow ties in a mulcher, or my personal favorite daytime fantasy, a bit of art I call \u201ckicking of a dog through uprights.\u201d We hate your dog, and we hate you.<\/p>\n

Acceptable Alternatives:<\/EM><\/STRONG><\/p>\n

Treating an animal like the companion it is. Get a real pet or walk alone.<\/p>\n

High Belts<\/H3><\/p>\n

\"high-belt.jpeg\"<\/p>\n

There\u2019s beauty in proportion, and nothing messes with that more than a blatant misplacing of a standard item. If you\u2019re willing to constrict your ribs, do us all a favor and wear a corset. At least it\u2019ll make your boobs look good.<\/p>\n

Acceptable Alternative:<\/EM><\/STRONG><\/p>\n

A normal waist belt, if you need it at all. No stupidly thick belts, either.<\/p>\n

* * *<\/p>\n

I suppose Paris Hilton is to blame for much of the kind of shite we see every day. I think it\u2019s time women got over her and her irritating style, and started using fashion for what it was meant to do – make women look hot.<\/p>\n

Honourable mentions, thanks to comments:<\/EM><\/p>\n

Crocs<\/STRONG> – Indeed, fucking hideous. Unfortunately, it\u2019s a bit unfair to pin these on girls, since guys wear them too, but they do know how to kill hotness with them.<\/p>\n

Ugz (Uggs) boots<\/STRONG> – The name is as ugly as the boots themselves. Just what guys always wanted, right? Furry legs. Great.<\/p>\n

And, for more excessive foundation, check out this pic of Cindy McCain<\/A> (gah)<\/p>\n

I had removed Capris<\/STRONG>, but I guess they did belong:<\/p>\n

\"capri-pants.jpg\"<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Written by Simon As most men chill on the uncomfortable periphery of fashion, we do develop a strong sense for what we hate on women. And while women do style partly for themselves (\u201dI\u2019m the real me!\u201d) or for their female friends (\u201cSOOOoooOOO GOOD!\u201d), a chunk of it\u2019s for guys. Ladies, if you\u2019re listening, please […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/484"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=484"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/484\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=484"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=484"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=484"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}