{"id":981,"date":"2009-05-22T11:26:32","date_gmt":"2009-05-22T16:26:32","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.bspcn.com\/2009\/05\/22\/67-ways-not-to-sell-a-car\/"},"modified":"2009-05-22T11:26:32","modified_gmt":"2009-05-22T16:26:32","slug":"67-ways-not-to-sell-a-car","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/2009\/05\/22\/67-ways-not-to-sell-a-car\/","title":{"rendered":"67 Ways NOT To Sell A Car"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Written by Baker<\/a><\/p>\n

Goodbye, Nissan 240SX. Hello, $1200 cash. [This is my happy dance]<\/strong><\/p>\n

I hate selling cars. Actually I hate cars in general.<\/strong> I’m horrible at them, I don’t understand them, and I don’t do a good job of taking care of them. Luckily, I’ve been blessed the last few years by the gods of Japan, a.k.a. Nissan. I did nothing right for 6 years straight and this little thing held strong.<\/p>\n

I think it’s important as bloggers to admit when we suffer “epic” fail. I occasionally fall into the habit of preaching from a soap box (a.k.a. yesterday), but every now and then I take the time to step up and admit I suck. I sucked today.<\/strong> I just got lucky. I like being lucky.<\/strong><\/p>\n

You can’t run a car into the ground for 6 years, ignoring check engine lights, changing oil, slowly leaking tires, broken headlights, and impending rust and expect to make a big profit when you sell. After all the car has 240,000 miles.<\/strong> How much longer can this thing go?<\/p>\n

Did I mention we waited until the last minute, threw up a rough ad (good picture thanks to wife, though), and just kind of closed our eyes? We thought we’d be lucky to get $1000.<\/strong> Actually we said told ourselves we’d take anything over $1000 and run. We put it up for $1500 “or best offer” (mistake). I was flooded with calls asking all kinds of questions, especially “what’s the lowest you’ll take”. I literally had a tough time keeping up with everything.<\/p>\n

The first 4 people who looked at it passed without even making an offer. They were out looking for a steal and weren’t willing to deal with a leaking brake line, leaking oil, power steering pump, weak transmission, dents in the body, rips in the leather seats, and 240,000 miles. Selfish pricks.<\/strong> I was starting to get really worried.<\/p>\n

Then the clouds parted and out dropped a young kid who just enrolled in technical school to work on cars. Guess what his dream fixer-upper was. Hallelujah!<\/strong> About an hour of looking under the hood and under the car, he totaled up what it would take to create the next inspiration behind Fast & The Furious and offered $1200. I countered at $1300, he declined. I thought for exactly 1.5 seconds before running away as fast as I could with $1200!<\/p>\n

I quickly sat down and jotted everything I did wrong in this process. It took up almost a full page, so I just kept the party going and brainstormed everything I could<\/em> have done wrong. I’ll leave it up to your imagination which half of the following I actually did and which I made up. It’s more fun this way\u2026<\/strong><\/p>\n

67 Ways NOT To Sell A Car<\/strong><\/h2>\n
    \n
  1. Don’t worry when a little<\/em> rust starts to form.<\/li>\n
  2. Don’t wash the outside of the car.<\/strong> First impressions don’t matter.<\/em><\/li>\n
  3. Don’t pick up trash from the back seat of the car. Who rides in the back seat?<\/em><\/li>\n
  4. Clean the car, but don’t detail it.<\/li>\n
  5. Don’t bother checking the fluid levels. Who cares about oil, brake fluid, and power steering?<\/em><\/li>\n
  6. Don’t fix minor interior problems, such a knobs, switches, and vents.<\/li>\n
  7. Don’t bother with adding an air-freshner.<\/strong><\/li>\n
  8. Let your pets have free reign over the car.<\/li>\n
  9. Don’t worry about touching up paint.<\/li>\n
  10. Don’t bother cleaning out the trunk. Instead assume they won’t pop it open.<\/li>\n
  11. Add the 16th bumper sticker to your collection.<\/strong><\/li>\n
  12. Continually smoke in your car up until the day you sell.<\/li>\n
  13. Don’t replace old, worn out floor mats.<\/li>\n
  14. Let your kids eat food in the car. Would you like fries with that?<\/em><\/li>\n
  15. Assume waxing your vehicle is over-rated.<\/li>\n
  16. Sell your car to a dealer without checking the private party market.<\/li>\n
  17. Don’t bother with keeping maintenance records.<\/strong> Everyone will take your word.<\/li>\n
  18. Don’t mention that your car has been totaled\u2026 twice.<\/li>\n
  19. Don’t bother paying off the title even if you’re able.<\/li>\n
  20. Only advertise in one medium.<\/li>\n
  21. Don’t bother with free online listings.<\/strong> They take too long and people hate the internet.<\/li>\n
  22. Clean the car, but ignore the tires\/rims. No one ever looks at the size or condition of tires.<\/li>\n
  23. Don’t bother to check the air in all the tires.<\/li>\n
  24. Don’t replace broken headlights. You can just sell it during the day.<\/strong><\/li>\n
  25. Don’t replace broken windshield wipers. You can sell it on a sunny day.<\/strong><\/li>\n
  26. Let people test drive your car alone.<\/li>\n
  27. Tell everyone your reason for selling is “Time to move on from this one.”<\/em><\/li>\n
  28. Print fliers in black and white.<\/li>\n
  29. Forget to mention you’ve been the only owner.<\/li>\n
  30. Grant a discount, because it’s “all the cash they have on them”.<\/em><\/li>\n
  31. Put “Or Best Offer” on every ad.<\/strong><\/li>\n
  32. Forget to mention any other calls or appointments you may have.<\/li>\n
  33. Sell your 4-wheel drive in the spring, right after all the snow melts away.<\/li>\n
  34. Sell your rear-wheel drive convertible in November.<\/li>\n
  35. Donate your car to charity without first testing the local market, solely for the tax write-off.<\/li>\n
  36. Start your price slightly above-market, just in case<\/strong>. That works well for homes, too.<\/li>\n
  37. Advertise your price as $13,000 instead of $12,900, even if you’re willing to take $12,000.<\/li>\n
  38. Don’t bother getting that clicking noise looked at. Buyers probably won’t notice it.<\/li>\n
  39. Don’t worry about a physical “For Sale” sign.<\/strong><\/li>\n
  40. Forget to mention that you are selling your car to family and friends.<\/li>\n
  41. Have an annoying ring-back tone on the number you place in the ads. Everyone likes Soulja Boy.<\/em><\/li>\n
  42. Don’t screen buyers by phone. Just put your address directly in the ad.<\/strong><\/li>\n
  43. Ignore how you look when you meet potential buyers to show the car.<\/li>\n
  44. Sell your car on payments.<\/li>\n
  45. Answer the question, “What’s the lowest you’ll take?”<\/em><\/li>\n
  46. Just sign over the title, without checking your state laws. Isn’t that what Uncle Earl always does?<\/li>\n
  47. Forget to look over the glove compartment and trunk one last time.<\/li>\n
  48. Don’t cancel your insurance after selling the car.<\/li>\n
  49. Don’t study the local market.<\/strong> Kelley Blue Book conquers all.<\/li>\n
  50. Post an ad without any pictures.<\/li>\n
  51. Ignore all calls from numbers you don’t know hoping they will leave a voicemail.<\/li>\n
  52. Be the first to throw out a price once negotiations start.<\/strong><\/li>\n
  53. Accept a personal check as payment.<\/li>\n
  54. Underestimate the leverage of an official car history report.<\/li>\n
  55. Rush the buyer when he is looking over the car.<\/li>\n
  56. Lose a deal over $50, with very little other prospects.<\/li>\n
  57. Don’t list all of the obvious issues with the car in the ads.<\/li>\n
  58. Over-promise, under-deliver.<\/strong><\/li>\n
  59. Don’t thoroughly include all the details and features. Who cares about power-windows?<\/em><\/li>\n
  60. Fail to explicitly state that “car is sold as is”<\/strong> and definitely don’t get that in writing anywhere.<\/li>\n
  61. List your car on Monday night. The weekend is usually too convenient for people.<\/li>\n
  62. Wait until the last minute to sell your car.<\/li>\n
  63. Don’t worry about getting seat covers for damaged interior.<\/li>\n
  64. Lie about known problems. These things never come around.<\/strong><\/li>\n
  65. Lack knowledge of your car’s gas mileage.<\/li>\n
  66. Grow attached to a particular buyer and forget you always have the option of walking away.<\/li>\n
  67. Once the sale is complete, sport the Happy Dance<\/strong><\/em> in full view of the buyer.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    Do you suck at cars half as much as I do? What are your favorite ways NOT to sell a car? List them below and I’ll add any original ones up into the post above!<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    Written by Baker Goodbye, Nissan 240SX. Hello, $1200 cash. [This is my happy dance] I hate selling cars. Actually I hate cars in general. I’m horrible at them, I don’t understand them, and I don’t do a good job of taking care of them. Luckily, I’ve been blessed the last few years by the gods […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/981"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=981"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/981\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=981"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=981"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=981"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}